Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse favoured cat food? There is fish flavoured!

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, which side would it fall on?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

So what's the speed of dark?

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

why do old people call battery ----battry?
how do old people fole the paper so easy does it come with age?

sry dont want youall to think im some kinda ass by means of my spelling
fole:i ment fold. tried to stop it but it was too late.

THOSE WERE FUNNY THANKS FOR THE LAUGH

George Carlin,
one of my favorite ironic comedians.

Thanks for the laugh.

have you ever noticed that Teflon eventually wears off the pan, I don't know where it goes but I do know that peanut butter no longer sticks to the roof of my mouth.

LOL

THERE IS NO LIMIT OF HUMAN FOLLIES