Dirty Johnny and his friends were enrolled in sex education. During the lecture, the teacher kept referring to a "penis". It was "penis" this and "penis" that. The class behaved as if it understood.

Immediately following class, all the students gathered around Dirty Johnny. "Johnny, what's a penis?" Nobody had a clue. Dirty Johnny said he would ask his Dad when he got home.

When Dirty Johnny got home, his Dad was there. "Dad, what's a 'penis'?" His father unzips his trousers, shows Johnny his dick and says, "This is a perfect penis." Johnny replied, "Thanks, Dad. I'll tell my friends tomorrow in school."

The next day, all the students gathered around. "What did your Dad say, Dirty Johnny?" Johnny promptly unzips his trousers and shows all his classmates his dick. "This is a penis. And if it were two inches shorter, it would be the perfect penis!"

And today, I was in my local pizza shop, not a big chain, just a little local one here in Carlisle.

The guy ahead of me had ordered a small pizza, he was asked if he wanted cut into 4 or 6 slices, after a bit of thought, (and I could seriously here his brain whirring!) He said 4 slices, he didn't think he was hungry enough to eat 6!

I had to stifle a laugh.

LMFAO

Off subject I know..... but too funny not to share.

I was at a gas station in the mountain, and the guy in front of me told the clerk that they need to move the deer crossing signs to a safer place for them as there was WAY to much traffic for them to be crossing there.

3 pastors met and we're discussing,
their weaknesses to each other: 1st
pastor said my problem is stealing. I
just can't stop stealing from the
church's money and if any church
members finds out, it would be
disastrous. The 2nd pastor said his
own problem is adultery, I've slept
with almost every woman... in the
church married and unmarried,
church members must never find
out. The 3rd pastor said, my
problem is I just can't keep a secret
no matter how I try...The two
pastors FAINTED

"****" is the only word which can
be used to express many feelings
Revenge: **** you
Failure: I'm ****ed
Anxiety: What the **** is happening
Anger: Get the **** out of here
Curious: How the **** did you do
that
Love: She is ****ing beautiful
Lust: Aah **** me baby
Pride: I am a ****ing genius
Victory: I won that ****ing
competition
Sad: Why the **** does this happen
to me
Confused: What the ****
By this time you will be thinking this
is 1 ****ing great status