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Topic: What Went Wrong?
msharmony's photo
Thu 02/23/12 11:14 AM

Been chatting to a man on another site. He had a lot in common and got on really well. We swapped phone numbers and conversation flowed. We decided to meet.

We didn't gel :(

We have everything in common, some of which is really uncanny. He was really keen to start a relationship. I felt he was moving too fast. The other mistake I made was meeting him at his house (I know, not the safest thing in the world), the reason for this is we both play the same musical instrument so had a bit of a jam session which was the best part of the "date".

Unfortunately, after a couple of hours I started to feel quite unwell and cut short the meeting as I had a long drive home. He was not happy that I left and made that clear. He seemed quite hurt. I have not heard from him since, nor have I contacted him. My phone did ring last evening and it was a withheld number. I know everyone who's got my number and I think it may have been him but whoever it was didn't say anything and hung up. Could easily have been a wrong number.

He did tell me he was the type who wore his heart on his sleeve (he does) and had been hurt in the past.

What gets me is how can two people who have so much in common just not gel when it comes to meeting.

I'm the type of person who really needs to get to know a person before I can take that relationship further and I did tell him this on more than one occasion in the course of conversations before we met.

It seems a shame because we had the basis for a very good relationship and him trying to rush things scared me off. He wanted us to enter a full-on, committed relationship there and then. I'm a bit more cautious and wanted to be friends first and see how things progressed.

I'm also a widow. He is a divorcee and has been living alone for many years. We're both in our 50s so not exactly spring chickens!




its called pressure,, just like skilled performers can still have a bad performance now and again

sometimes chemistry isnt as instant as we are expecting it to be,,,,


good luck,,,

pyxxie13's photo
Thu 02/23/12 01:42 PM
I agree that ... if he didn't seem concerned you were not feeling well...red flag.

Corkycat's photo
Thu 02/23/12 06:06 PM
one thing I don't like are people who try to control - and it doesn't matter who it is. I don't like being put under pressure either.

I've come to the conclusion that this man has low self-esteem and by "controlling" a possible relationship boosts his ego.

Far too pushy for me I'm afraid. I also think he has trust issues. If there is no trust then there is no relationship.

I think, in the cold light of day, I had a lucky escape.

If I have another long term relationship then it will have to be based on mutual trust and respect. I won't settle for less.

I'm also quite happy living on my own as I have a lot of interests so I can wait for the right man to come along and if he doesn't, well, so be it.

I'm out of action for the next six weeks or so anyway. Can't even drive just now and won't be able to until the swelling and pain subsides. Was going to drive up to my friend's next week and stay a few days with her and her hubby. That's been postponed for a while.

We certainly all get runs of bad luck at times LOL.

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Thu 02/23/12 07:36 PM

Been chatting to a man on another site. He had a lot in common and got on really well. We swapped phone numbers and conversation flowed. We decided to meet.

We didn't gel :(

We have everything in common, some of which is really uncanny. He was really keen to start a relationship. I felt he was moving too fast. The other mistake I made was meeting him at his house (I know, not the safest thing in the world), the reason for this is we both play the same musical instrument so had a bit of a jam session which was the best part of the "date".

Unfortunately, after a couple of hours I started to feel quite unwell and cut short the meeting as I had a long drive home. He was not happy that I left and made that clear. He seemed quite hurt. I have not heard from him since, nor have I contacted him. My phone did ring last evening and it was a withheld number.





Exactly that. You both simply didn't gel. I doubt it could develop any further in that case. You can only get so far, if you both aren't really seeing eye-to-eye. Sorry to sound blunt. lol. That withheld number thing, sounds a bit dodgy if i say so myself. Maybe that's just me, idk.

Corkycat's photo
Thu 02/23/12 10:20 PM


Been chatting to a man on another site. He had a lot in common and got on really well. We swapped phone numbers and conversation flowed. We decided to meet.

We didn't gel :(

We have everything in common, some of which is really uncanny. He was really keen to start a relationship. I felt he was moving too fast. The other mistake I made was meeting him at his house (I know, not the safest thing in the world), the reason for this is we both play the same musical instrument so had a bit of a jam session which was the best part of the "date".

Unfortunately, after a couple of hours I started to feel quite unwell and cut short the meeting as I had a long drive home. He was not happy that I left and made that clear. He seemed quite hurt. I have not heard from him since, nor have I contacted him. My phone did ring last evening and it was a withheld number.





Exactly that. You both simply didn't gel. I doubt it could develop any further in that case. You can only get so far, if you both aren't really seeing eye-to-eye. Sorry to sound blunt. lol. That withheld number thing, sounds a bit dodgy if i say so myself. Maybe that's just me, idk.


I'm sure it was him but obviously he wasn't man enough to talk. Haven't had any more calls like that since so sure it was him. It's water under the bridge now LOL.

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