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| Topic: Long Term Relationships | |
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I think that dating someone who has married before has its merits too. They know what a marriage is like, or at least what it is supposed to be. Someone who has never been married by their late 40's is more daunting to me.
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yeah i do think they become more picky, and it really depends if they have moved on or not. I was in a long relationship and im still not fully over it and it has almost been a year since we broke up. And yes i am way more picky now, we know what we want after we have waded through all the ****. haha  yes! and I found that it is really hard for someone who has never been married or a serious LTR to understand how we KNOW when it's the real thing or NOT we know cuz we done been der done dat  so I think there are challenges when dating the never married, but as someone else said - if there's love u understand the unique positive things a person's past brings But if you've been married and divorced, you were wrong about it being the "real thing" as it didn't last. So why would someone who has not been married not be able to guess just as you did? What exactly is the "real thing" anyway? you simply would not understand something like that I would only explain to the right person at th eright time I wouldn't understand what? Why a divorced person had the "real thing," yet a single person couldn't possibly know what it's like? Interesting. |
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Tt is the very first question I put out there. 'Is your heart free and clear?' If mine is, his should be also. If either is not, there is not a prayer. The jaded, bitter path is popular. It is the easiest way to go. Righteous, even. Very natural. Lots of people just like you. It can become a crusade. I mean, you get wiser with your experiences. They give you caution. But, if I am not willing to offer up my neck to the guillotine of love, then I would deserve the lack of passion in my life. This could not say it better.
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? In some ways, I am less picky. In others I am more so. Money and status means nothing to me anymore. The amount of time and caring and that are available means everything to me even though I am Quirky Alone. I did not leave a relationship of wealth and privilege to date another emotionally unavailable person. I agree with this. For the people who seek extremely easy going personalities, ooo, not judging but, where's the fun in that? Hell, I'm what you call mellow, down-to-earth, at times easy going, but that doesn't define all of me as a whole. Human beings will always be complex. I would really hate to get involved with someone who strodes through life and picks apart people for being too real. What does that even mean? Life is real. Just because you're jaded and closed off, you expect us to accept it? This is what I get from people who suffer from bad breakups. Open your eyes, is what I want to say to them. Stop meshing EVERY person you talk to and compare them to the positive times you had with your ex. You'll never find it again. And their standards...expecting someone to be a certain way, (in their definition, "less drama" no feelings) why do that do yourself? Looking for perfection. You'll never make it out of that abyss alive. If you like someone because they do something to you in a positive way, why remain a mystery? Why hide how you feel? Do you even feel anything? If you do, why pull back? Games. More fear of rejection/getting hurt. I understand being afraid more than anyone but for how long do you sulk? To me, those are the guys I come across in the past and try to avoid. Still, I give everyone a chance. Sucks because I believe there is a nice person somewhere underneath all the bravado. Guess I have an inkling. All the toughness, its there somewhere. I believe they can bring it out in them to be a bit of a man. Its possible. |
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People can make excuses about this. If you hold onto the past and don't look for a better tomorrow, then you are gonna stay in that place of self pity. I did that and then I woke up. I have dated since my marriage ended (five years ago) and I have two relationships that ended for their own reasons. Both relationships, I feel, have led me closer to the day I will meet a woman who is all I ever wanted. And that's why my life is good and it will get better. Word!
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I think a big problem too is that people don't take the necessary time to heal after a relationship has ended.
Whether it be through divorce, widowed or just plain broken you need to grieve the loss and that takes time. you can't use a new relationship as a bandaid and excpect it to work. Leave your baggage behind ,kick it to the curb and start over when you are totally ready. |
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Each person is wortly on their own merit.
I leave my past in the past. Things happen.........some happen for a reason. Dwelling on the past only makes the future...... Impossible!!!!! Jmo |
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Each person is wortly on their own merit. I leave my past in the past. Things happen.........some happen for a reason. Dwelling on the past only makes the future...... Impossible!!!!! Jmo |
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? Hey Mariah, great thread !.... I'm not so sure the length of a past relationship is what influences a person's emotional availability....What makes more sense to me is how a person chooses to live in their present...In other words, do they embrace the present, engage in the moment, focus on what they have and not what they don't have, do they live their life open to new and positive experiences?.....These types are emotionally available no matter how long they spent in a past relationship, not matter how soon they try again.... 
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Edited by
iam4u
on
Sat 02/18/12 12:03 AM
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? Some will have a worm in it, some will be sweet, some will taste bitter. Some will be badly brused. The ones which are sweet, have truly moved on. The ones with a worm,may lose their thoughts of their other,,through the Love they have fallen into. The Bitter ones,shall keep bringing their other one up,,every week or many times through a week. Forever.... The brused ones,,shall bring their old one up,,AS IT REFECTS UPON THEM WITH YOU,,all through your times spent together.. SO,,,,YA WANNA GO PICK SOME APPLES??   
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? Some will have a worm in it, some will be sweet, some will taste bitter. Some will be badly brused. The ones which are sweet, have truly moved on. The ones with a worm,may lose their thoughts of their other,,through the Love they have fallen into. The Bitter ones,shall keep bringing their other one up,,every week or many times through a week. Forever.... The brused ones,,shall bring their old one up,,AS IT REFECTS UPON THEM WITH YOU,,all through your times spent together.. SO,,,,YA WANNA GO PICK SOME APPLES?? Mostly bad apples in my world. |
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People can make excuses about this. If you hold onto the past and don't look for a better tomorrow, then you are gonna stay in that place of self pity. I did that and then I woke up. I have dated since my marriage ended (five years ago) and I have two relationships that ended for their own reasons. Both relationships, I feel, have led me closer to the day I will meet a woman who is all I ever wanted. And that's why my life is good and it will get better. Word! Word. |
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? Yep, they are darn picky, bitter, and impossible to deal with. Not worth the effort to even date anymore. |
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? We ALL eventually have at least a few long term relationships. It depends on circumstances is all, if kids are involved, it can be more difficult, but ANYTHING can work if you truly want it to. Actually; not all of us have had long term relationships. Never had one for longer than a year. |
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had a long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? I don’t think they get pickier rather more wary of being in another committed relationship too soon after their longterm ended. If I’m honest, I’m wary of guys that are in their late 30’s/early 40’s whose longest relationship has been a year or two. That to me screams commitment phobe. Guess I too have committment phobe. |
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Is it hard to date these people if they've had long marriage and/or relationship? Do they ever move on? Do they just grow more picky after the breakup? What are your thoughts on knowing this about someone you're just starting to like? We ALL eventually have at least a few long term relationships. It depends on circumstances is all, if kids are involved, it can be more difficult, but ANYTHING can work if you truly want it to. Actually; not all of us have had long term relationships. Never had one for longer than a year. Guess you assume sometimes, not all of us are the same in that. I personally have not had anything longer than a few years and that was my engagement. |
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Hey hit me up man 26 first time here just moved here
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