Go for it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I've never been married myself. I am very picky. If someone tries to change who I am it won't work. Don't like tattoos it wont work especially since I'm getting another.

People who are judgmental and rude for absolutely no reason. It's ridiculous. It's been happening almost ALL DAY. Which in turn makes me grumpy and it's a vicious cycle. Damn kick the dog type of thing. I was good until I was told I was a bad person from someone that doesn't even know me. It's freezing and my bones hurt and I've tried to be nice most of the day, but on days like today it seems virtually effing impossible.
I have an overwhelming desire to either kick something or bite someone. I'm not sure about the biting, but.. eh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2aBOTNGWMY
:)

some people will try to change u but ur right it won't work they tried that with me an well they failed lol

Only time I try to change someone is from clothed to unclothed lol

some how i had a feeling that was coming lol

..Thanks Sweet.

From moi? Never lol

nah just in general thought lol

OK. A rant is supposed to be a complaint about a bothersome person or situation. So, I will rant about . . .

. . . myself.

I keep messing up whenever I engage in private conversations with other Minglers, and it leaves me feeling depressed.

Background: I haven't said so in public before, but I am currently going through a very difficult time with my physical health. The physical pain that I experience on a daily basis is crippling, so much that I haven't worked since the week before last Christmas. I am officially on leave-of-absence from my job, but I anticipate having to resign soon, because the pain is too much for me to bear outside of my home. If I were not receiving financial assistance from relatives, then I would be destitute.

Although I experience pain while using a computer (just as I am while typing this), I keep posting things at Mingle2 because it helps me to emotionally cope with my struggle. All too often Mingle2 is my lifeline to the outside world.

Anyway, while here I have tried to befriend people who are going through their own struggles, and I converse with them through private messaging. That is when I goof up. I say too much or the wrong thing. I want nothing more than friendship, and yet I give people the wrong impression. I know that I do by the way that people respond.

For example, imagine a couple of your friends telling you that they are too tired to do anything, and then later you see them at a party. Were they really tired, or were they simply trying to get rid of you?

If I am so bad a person that another would avoid me, then what is wrong with me?

So, I am ranting about myself, because I am my own worse enemy. Sometimes I feel like giving up on socializing. Is it worth the pain?
I wish that I had a real friend who could understand my physical and emotional struggles, but I can't have such a friend if I drive people away.

Thus, in this rant I am the bothersome party, and I apologize to anyone I have alarmed or offended by my words. I try to be the cowboy who wears the white hat, but I keep dropping my hat in the mud. Who wants someone with a muddy hat?

You asked for it...

Woke up to my moms bi'ing that her 'Tweety' Flash Drive is missing.

After I had finally began to find some non-drugged up sleep.
She wakes up up screaming like zombies invaded.

As I came out to help her look for it..
..I tripped over the cat and fell onto the vacuum.
Now, I may be 'healed' but I don't feel 150% yet..
..so that sucked anus.

Not to mention; landing on her Tweety thumb drive..
...did not set a good tone for the day.

Shortly later, she told me one of my old friends was coming to visit..
..Of course this strikes me as odd, because she doesn't really know any of my friends.. let alone older ones.

Turns out; she was speaking of my old 'counselor'.

A psychologist?! This is my old friend?!?!
B****!

..first question out of her mouth..

"Why don't you go out and look for a job more often?"

1. WTF is it to either of you? I pay and handle my own bills. I'm not sucking you dry and if I had another choice, this would have been the last place I would have EVER returned to..

2. Almost everywhere I go to get an application I hear the same response, 'I'm sorry sir, we don't do paper applications anymore.'

..everything, or at best, almost everything is online these days.

A woman who hasn't had to look for a job since the Beatles first came to America.. is giving me job advice?! F***ing please.

Baby mama..

She calls me up.
And even though I have so many things I want to tell her..
..and the fact nothing ever comes out..
Conversations with her always leave me.. so empty.

I'm tired of those friends that say, 'Come on man, open up, you can tell me anything'. And when you do open up, they either A. laugh in your face that your stuck on something so retarded, or B. Don't even have the courtesy to listen.

So, I tell him how I feel about her..
..and the rage and emotions that build up inside me..
..and how they never come out..

..and when I finished and looked at him he smiled and said..

"What?"

......

A guy came to my door.

"Hello there. I noticed that it is time for you to have your chimney cleaned.. and thought I would stop by and give you our normal free estimate."

Me, already moody, I can still be nice..

"Yeah, that was with the lady who lived here before us (lived here less than a year) and we don't actually ever use the chimney. So, we'll be good. We use gas."

End of story.. right? No, this guy raises his hand and slams it to the door keeping me from closing it and barks at me!

"It is time for you to have your chimney cleaned and you NEED this done!"

.......?

..you know how I got around an 18 year old..
..wtf makes you think I won't go crazy on a guy older than me?!

I just stared at him. Death look but silent. I grilled him like I never grilled a human being or inanimate object before in my life..
..if there is such a thing as telepathy; oh he knew what I was thinking..

..Get chewed out later by the doc over the phone..
..apparently me saying,

"Eh, I don't always take my medication."
Is not same as:
"Your blood test came back and shows you are not taking your medication consistently!"

..News flash doc.
I already told you that, so what, now that I ain't in your face you got the Rambo complex? Eff outta hurr..

I miss my Becca..
..and how things were..

I fuked it all up..
..and hope I can find my way back into her good graces..
..but then I see what she sees and realize..

I'm an a**hole..
..and she deserves better..
..I want to be better..
..and I'm trying..

..but she still deserves someone who didn't need another 'chance'.

I got super depressed. (What else is new..)

To cheer me up moms mentions she'll cook me my favorite dinner.
:D

...and then invites the uncle I can't effing stand.
He's a racist good for nothing that thinks he knows everything.

The whole time I'm trying to enjoy my favorite meal..
..the two of them are talking about sex.
More astutely; my uncle is now on Viagra.

Seriously..

Did I NEED to f***ing know that?! No.
Even if I did..
..why would you tell me this at dinner?!?

"Hey M, nice car by the way. I like how you parked it straight."

......*grumble*.......

He knows I love my car.
He knows I was devastated when I lost it.

..and you call that funny?

Mom.

I'll punch his face so freaking hard..
..you'll feel it.

..but did I flip at all?

..no.

Kept my cool...

..but still what an eff'n sheisty day!

I personally have an issue. I want to be friends with people, but when something is actually bothering me quite a bit. I usually more often then not.. close up like a clam. I usually hate talking about my bad days, and the days when like you.. it hurts even just to lay in bed and type. I'm not exactly sure what MY deal is. I mean, there is nothing in the world wrong with having someone that understands your pain and turmoil. It's nice to have someone understanding.. but I just seem to have issues.

I personally have an issue. I want to be friends with people, but when something is actually bothering me quite a bit. I usually more often then not.. close up like a clam. I usually hate talking about my bad days, and the days when like you.. it hurts even just to lay in bed and type. I'm not exactly sure what MY deal is. I mean, there is nothing in the world wrong with having someone that understands your pain and turmoil. It's nice to have someone understanding.. but I just seem to have issues.

..thanks, baby.

..but, what about you..?