If you won't love to start on the right foot and make it last ( MALE OR FEMALE )
First ... Be honest about what you won't in your life .
Tell your new partner how you feel about the things you do not wont in your love life.
Get two peaces of paper , 1 for you and 1 for her .
Now each of you put on the paper how you wnt to fight .
THIS IS WHAT I TOLD MY WIFE WHEN WE MET , ,(9 years of bliss before she passed away)

Always make an appointment to fight ... And state that you won't to fight for 5min. ( no longer) example- honey can we have a fight form 6pm to 6:05pm.

Rember in a fight you won't to talk about YOUR feeling , I feel , I did not like , I felt , I am worried about .

NEVER ASSUME = You did that because , you do not like it when

NEVER ... Yell , no name calling , never start a sentence with the word YOU !

No swearing , no ,,,you always do this ,or you have done this a 1,000 times.

On your paper wright down the rules .
As you wright down each point , tell each other if you agree to that point .

When we have finished fighting and agree with each other ,, We will never talk about this again .

All fights end with a kiss and a heart felt I LOVE YOU .

If you fallow these simple rules a fight will never last more than 5min.

Role play ,role play , role play ,, it takes time to learn how do this . Mistakes are to be forgiven .

AFTER , You have gone throught the list sign and exchange papers .. Put them somewhere you can read them every morning and night .... NEVER , NEVER EVER !!! Point to the list and say , HAY !!! You promised!!!

BE SURE TO TELL YOUR NEW MATE .... WHAT YOU Will not do , and will not except as long as you are together.

EXAMPLE ,, I will never call you names , I will never swear at you , if there is a problem between us I will only TALK to you about it . I will never put you down , alone or infrunt of others . I will never mention my X ,or compair them to you .I will alway show only my love for you alone or with others . NOT !!! " If you ever ........ !!!!!!!!

Be sure it is a 2way street ,, find out how your new partner feels about your thoughts .

If you meet someone who is not willing to have this conversation in your first 3 dates..
(A) they are not interested in your feelings.
(B) they are happy to live in a war zone .
(c) have no idea what they won't in love and life .
(D) they are with you for the ,,, here after ,,, YOU KNOW " if your not here after , what I'm here after ,you'll be here after I'm gone

interesting post......

lost me at not discussing feelings

I was taught the opposite when it comes to communication and problem solving,,,

Question ? Do you think the way you were thought is the right way ...
Before I tryed this methed ,, I was never happy for long when I was in love .
I am interested ,,, tell me what you think .

If you have a problem to discuss, I don't see how you're gonna get it resolved in 5 minutes.

But, some of your suggestions are very good. I had learned those from a book I read a long time ago. Can't remember the name of it now.

Never bring a knife to a gun fight......

who says you ge to set the rules?

if someone has a repetitive behavior that is annoying, rude, selfish, or destructive I think it must said that way - YA dude you do always... now quit it befr I slap ya

or learn how to throw

I do think it was right for me

feeling free to discuss how I feel with a loved one is of great significance

this is it exactly

with all the rules he has you'd spend half your life arguing about them and no one dictates to their partner what or how they can speak

state preferences yes - but this is too rigid

agreed some great points tho

last time I ran into a fair fighting article there were like 4 or 5 very general rules - pretty simple...

I think the problem is that he's using "won't" for "want." He means, "You WANT to discuss your feelings." As in, your own feelings, not blaming the other person. I learned this as a technique called I-messages. I feel *** when you ****. That kind of thing.

A fair fight = I'm right, he's wrong. All settled.

Well sometimes it's just easier this way. It is a waste of time trying to argue with a woman.......

It's nice to find a man who knows.

You'd think today's man would catch on.

One problem in arguments is that not everyone processes information at the same speed. Sometimes you have to give the other person time to let it "sink in".

Many people get too caught up in the moment, spitting out words rapid fire, and jumping all over someone when they misstep because they are too busy trying to keep up rather than processing what is really being said. This is when argument turns from being about issues and more about "might makes right". It's also when it is better to walk away to let each other settle down.

Don't mistake walking away for "running" from a problem. Some people just need time to think. If you love them, you should give them that time. When they return, you might be pleasantly surprised by what they have to say.

Seems to me, a number of rules in the OP play to this same idea. It's not about stacking the rules in favor of one over the other, but rather making sure people learn how to communicate better based on how they express themselves in that 5 minutes.

Fair fighting?

No such thing. (a fight is a fight and I have done a bit)

This is especially true if you are the one bringing up the problem. If you start the discussion you have probably already been thinking about it for a while. Once you tell your partner, they need time to also think it through.

Nope....they are dumbasses.

They don't get a break for being slow. They get ran over.

Ditto.

A fight is fair only if it is possible for either party to win.