I wrote this poem.
For a friend..
..that just lost his mother.

I'm supposed to read it at her funeral.
So, I really would appreciate honest opinions.

Thanks.
---------------------------------------
"Just a Story"

This is just a story
It begins like every other
The embrace of love
Sense of being whole
When all life makes sense
And rainbows gain their glory
All found within another’s eyes
This may be just a story
But it’s one we both know well
Especially you
Because you wrote the beginning

This is just a story
You know how it began
But don’t you cry anymore
There’s no reasons left to worry
I’ve known you only to be strong
Single yet powerful
Dominant in independence
I tried to be strong like you
I, too, wanted to be fearless
But it was through weakness
And tasting humility
That I became such
Life is like walking on hot coals
It may seem impossible
But life is just another word for pain
But such can be conquered
Just one step at a time

This is just a story
But one you’ve helped me write
So often I found myself
On the brink of giving up
It was then you showed me love
As you cradled me in your arms
If I really wanted to learn how to ride
I must stand each time I fall
You say I’ve made you proud
As am I, just to be your son
So, don’t worry anymore
And don’t you dare cry, mama
You’ve helped me create this story
One that you helped begin
As one more chapter
Reaches it close
Remember that I love you
But don’t shed tears for me
You made me stronger
Redefining a purpose
This is just a story
The story of our lives
Now find your place of peace
As you walk alongside the angels
Don’t worry about this story
The one that you began
I can handle it from here and
I’ll see you at its ending


(c) Copyright - 2012
Midnight Reveries Studios
All Rights Reserved

It's supposed to be from his perspective right? You might want to have him read it, but it really is beautiful and exceptionally touching.

Yeah.

..but I'm reading it.

So, you like it then..?

I mean have him read it, before you read it at the funeral.
Yes, it's very heartfelt.

I know, baby.
I plan to.

Just getting outside opinions before I show him.

I think it's hard to say much without having known the person it's wrote about. I think the first draft is perfect though.

Very nice write.
It's good to go as it is.

Very beautiful and very touching.
It did bring tears to my eyes.

A wonderful tribute for his mother.

This is beautiful Sin... quite moving....I read it twice and your are asking...Because it will be read at her service (which can be an emotional time for loved ones) I am going to tell you exactly what I think...

There are only two words in this that I snag on when reading...That's why I read it twice...both times I snagged on the same two words...



This is just a story
You know how it began
But don’t you cry anymore
There’s no reasons left to worry
I’ve known you only to be strong
Single yet powerful
Dominant in independence
I tried to be strong like you
I, too, wanted to be fearless
But it was through weakness
And tasting humility
That I became such
Life is like walking on hot coals
It may seem impossible
But life is just another word for pain
But such can be conquered
Just one step at a time


Instead of "life is like walking on hot coals"....I would change it to "life can be like walking on hot coals"

Instead of "But life is just another word for pain"...I would change it to "Sometimes or at times life is just another word for pain"

Reason.....The way it is written makes it sound like there was "only" pain, that life was "always" like walking on hot coals...To me this diminishes the wonderful relationship mother and son shared......

it is moving and beautiful! i feel compelled to ask though if this will be just a tribute write when you read it, or in place of your friend saying something or having something read he wrote? if the latter, i would just make extra extra sure he doesn't want to write something. i just don't think any words can replace a son's to his mother, and this is the only chance he will have in this regard, no do-overs. nonetheless, a beautiful write and tribute, he has a wonderful friend in you.

Beautiful Sin Im sure your friend will love it.

..thank you.

Awe, well, kinda what I'm going for. :D
Thanks Ma.

:]

True..
Thank you Leigh.

Tis a very good point and I'm glad you pointed that out.

:)

You're welcome .....and again, a beautiful write my friend....

His mother, was the type.
That was a mother to all her son's friends.
I knew him for what seems like ages..
We cracked up at the Three Little Pigs song by Green Jelly
In elementary together..

So, I'm writing it part from his eyes, part from my own.
He asked me to speak on his behalf at the same time..

So, it's kind of like a mixture.
I may read it..
..but I may gave him 'credit' for writing it.

I'm just nervous..
Never actually spoke at a funeral before..
Let alone as the main speaker. :O

So, I want it to be perfect.
Even re-watched Joe Paterno's funeral for ideas.

You didn't have to like Joe Pa, or anything..
..but his funeral was.. beautiful.

That's what I'm going for..
She meant a lot to a lot of people..

..anyway.
Thank you for the compliment. :)

Thank you. :)
*adds the flower to his collection*

I'm hoping as much. :D

Just... S**t, my mom has been so close to death so many times and I cannot even begin how this poem makes me feel...F**k

..sorry. :(

Didn't mean to p*ss you off..

:(

No, no, no! It's a good comment not a pissed off comment, I am one of those weird people who only cuss when there are good things