Dear Diary......Im pmsing right now so is it ok if I kill strangers in my mind????

Dearest Diary ..................

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!
my kid is driving me bananananers.........

an I'm feelin like I'm cornered.....

Actual Letter to Proctor & Gamble - too funny> > > >> > > >> > > >>Dear Mr. Thatcher,> > > >>> > > >>I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years> > >and I> > > >>appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard >Core(tm)> > >or> > > >>Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or> > >salsa> > > >>dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the> > >beach in> > > >>tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your> > >revolutionary> > > >>Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to>realize> > >how> > > >>crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how >safe> > >and> > > >>secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.> > > >>> > > >>Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered >from> > > >>"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" >is> > > >>starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces> > > >>violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my> > >body> > > >>will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to >call> > >"an> > > >>inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?> > > >>> > > >>As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene>Division, you've no doubt> > >seen> > > >>quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your >customers'> > > >>monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the> > > >>bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense> > >mood> > > >>swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely >realize> > >it's> > > >>a tough time for most women.> > > >>> > > >>In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge >to> > > >>shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just> > >because> > > >>he> > > >>told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken> > > >>chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize>that> > > >>America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...> > >Which> > > >>brings me to the reason for my letter.> > > >>> > > >>Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to> > >reach> > > >>inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad,> > >and> > > >>there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a> > >Happy> > > >>Period." Are you ****king kidding me?> > > >>> > > >>What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain >really> > > >>think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible> > >during a> > > >>menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit> > >> >>pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick> > > >>S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in> > >which> > > >>you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself >in> > >> > > >>your> > > >>house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed >with> > >a> > > >>hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of >glory.> > > >>> > > >>For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to >slap> > >a> > > >>moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say> > > >>something> > > >>that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular> > > >>Manslaughter Is Wrong", or>are you just picking on us?> > > >>> > > >>Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective> > >immediately,> > > >>there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to >take> > >my> > > >>maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your> > > >>Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of >condescending> > > >>bull$hit. And that's a promise I will keep... Always.> > > >>> > > >>Best, .......

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT WAS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmm this explains my evilness right now!!!

dear diary not a good forum to be in right now seahawks.!!! lol

Dear Diary I was gonna read what Seahawks had to say...

Ok, ladies, don't go homicidal on me, but I am sooooooo glad I had a hysterectomy. DON"T GET ME WRONG! Now I have to take hormone pills everyday to keep my homicidal rages in check, but I don't have to read those stupid maxi's anymore either.

Dear Diary...........HAVE A HAPPY PERIOD!!!!

how the HELL can they say that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear diary ......

check mate .......

Dear Diary.....why do I get so depressed on my last day off??? Why do I worry about having to go to work the next day.....it just ruins my last day off

Dear diary, I sat in traffic all day in chicago. I went crazy. I went from talking to myself to talking to all my fellow drivers." Hi grandpa please pick a lane." "hello overweight truck driver with a cellphone stuck in your left ear. Can you prop it up on one of your 6 chins, put down the bag of funyons and drive please?" "hello wealthy soccer mom in a hurry for no reason because you feel the world revolves around you, your new lexus, and your gucci handbag. Could you watch where you're going and quit splitting lanes for two seconds so you don't cause an accident in front of me that I will end up sitting in for hours?" "hello loser in a 76 grand prix that looks like its been in a demolition derby with license plates you stole off your girlfreinds geo so you could make it to work because they rescinded your plates after 7 dwi's and you've never had insurance or a license. Could you please take the beer from between your legs and put it in the beerholder in the center console and watch where your going?"

dEAR dIARY......i FEEL fat and ugly today....you ever get those days??

Dear diary, I am fat and ugly.

Self affirmation. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit people like me.

dEAR dIARY...i DIDNT SAY i WAS FAT AND UGLY.....just said I felt like it!!!

Dear Diary,

I'm fugly

Dear Diary......creations isnt fuggly......look at that bod!!!