100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
| Topic: "Crucifixion" | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
“Crucifixion”
Emptiness It rests not with you Only in my soul I’m so pre-disposed Altered so much from the original Yet still haven’t reached unique Forgotten, she sleeps the night away While I’m left wishing Wishing upon that stupid star Life is a masquerade Whoever wears the best mask Truly has the most to hide I tried so hard to make you happy Somehow still You found misery in the sun As the tears of sorrow filled the night You trembled within the rain Why do you smile? When all I did was walk away Must I feel like Jesus? Strap me to my cross So that I may die for another’s sins Don’t bury me in the garden The flowers shall wither and fade Lay me in the darker shades of gray Just another product Of a disgruntled society Always found wanting It’s just emptiness It rests not with you But it burns brightest Deep within my soul |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oh Mike, once again another brilliant poem of a talented poet :)
You have such rhythm, I don't know if you see it or mean for it to be there but each time I read one of your poems I have to read it in rhythm haha. ...well meter I guess, if you want to get all technical haha Bravo!  <---me exploding from too much awesome
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Sin_and_Sorrow
on
Tue 01/17/12 02:02 AM
|
|
Oh Mike, once again another brilliant poem of a talented poet :) You have such rhythm, I don't know if you see it or mean for it to be there but each time I read one of your poems I have to read it in rhythm haha. ...well meter I guess, if you want to get all technical haha Bravo! <---me exploding from too much awesome
Haha! Nice. :) But, uh, what do you mean 'read it in rhythm?' o.o ..and what's a well meter? o.O lol |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You have a creative mind coupled with a tender sensitive heart and soul. It reaches through to some very powerful and thought provoking feelings that you write.
Very moving. I love to read you!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Loved this Sin..You so have the way with words..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
“Crucifixion” Emptiness It rests not with you Only in my soul I’m so pre-disposed Altered so much from the original Yet still haven’t reached unique Forgotten, she sleeps the night away While I’m left wishing Wishing upon that stupid star Life is a masquerade Whoever wears the best mask Truly has the most to hide I tried so hard to make you happy Somehow still You found misery in the sun As the tears of sorrow filled the night You trembled within the rain Why do you smile? When all I did was walk away Must I feel like Jesus? Strap me to my cross So that I may die for another’s sins Don’t bury me in the garden The flowers shall wither and fade Lay me in the darker shades of gray Just another product Of a disgruntled society Always found wanting It’s just emptiness It rests not with you But it burns brightest Deep within my soul THIS is the way you were meant to write!!!...Not in rhyme, not manipulated...just like you did here, free, flowing into the readers thoughts and heart.....Great, maybe my fav to date!! Thanks for sharing... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you all for the amazing comments.
Favorite so far, Leigh? :) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oh Mike, once again another brilliant poem of a talented poet :) You have such rhythm, I don't know if you see it or mean for it to be there but each time I read one of your poems I have to read it in rhythm haha. ...well meter I guess, if you want to get all technical haha Bravo! <---me exploding from too much awesome
Haha! Nice. :) But, uh, what do you mean 'read it in rhythm?' o.o ..and what's a well meter? o.O lol Read in rhythm- like a beat Meter- pretty much the same as rhythm You know how Shakespeare writes in iambic pentameter? It's like that |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This one wasn't my favorite, maybe it was the comparison to Jesus. I'm not sure.
You know I think you're very talented, though. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This one wasn't my favorite, maybe it was the comparison to Jesus. I'm not sure. You know I think you're very talented, though. LoL It's k baby. I don't expect you, let alone anyone, to like everything I write. I just ask for honest opinions. I know, good or bad, that's what you'll give me. Makes me love you even more. :) |
|
|
|
|
