LOL SOOOOO true about that. I thought it was just me being wonky over-analyzing self again. Can't tell you how many conversations I've had where every two seconds the guy asks, "Audrey, are ya there?" I could understand if its one time but if thats the only words he knows, its like, eh oh thats too bad. LOL

Well, looks are so secondary to me you have no idea. Having food in between the teeth is funny as heeell. I'll try to remind them by putting food slowly in my teeth as well just to put them at ease about it. LOL can't just say it. I always brush my teeth, no need to fret on that.

I gotta treat this like AA, I guess it is an addiction to some sort. The addiction to consistently feeling bad always. *sigh* You are wise. *hugs*

Maybe. Who knows? Can anyone really put up with me?

I just know when I'm in love I completely surrender. Everything I have is his. Not in that "I own you" way just we belong to each other. No cages. We're free to be ourselves with one another. It definitely makes me smile to feel desired. It makes me think about them a lot. It could unlock anything. I almost have no inhibitions when I'm in deep love with someone.

Finding it isn't hard. Its everywhere. Having an open mind and heart can open that door with anyone here. The hard part I find is them loving you back. Through all my relationships I never had that. I don't know what it feels like.

I am sure you are quite wonderful, and any man worth anything would give anything to "put up with you" as you put it.

In one sense I can sort of agree with that sentiment, about surrending completely, but honestly.. not anymore. I've been there, done that and am not doing it anymore. I have been taken advantage of because of it, and not just used, but used in a way that makes me loathe a little part of myself. I find the sentiment beautiful, and honestly the talk of it makes me want that sort of thing, those same feeling and desires, but just really don't see myself going there again. I want to feel loved and desired and needed... but not if it leads to me being something they can use and throw away once they have what they want, or find something better.

Possibly one day that will change, if the right person comes along, but that is just an "if" as I see it now.

And not trying to detract anything from you here, as again, I find the sentiments beautiful and have always felt it takes a beautiful soul to have such sentients, but just want to warn you to be cautious and not continue to fall into the same traps as I and other romance & love seeking people do.

And I 100% agree about them loving you back. I have no idea what it really feels like, and the one time I sort of did, it was far too late.

Sorry to sound all pessimistic here. Just know you and those like you are always certainly worth it, despite how some people out there may make you feel.

I guess I say "put up" because I've lived with men who I were really specific in terms of what they want as a whole. I hear when a guy looks at a woman he scans, and if something is off, he'll never persue her regardless of how she well treats others.

Unfortunately when you surrender completely, your soul goes with it. Its beautiful alright but its a almost a death wish. There's so much risk involved in giving yourself completely to another. And the more you give out, the harder you may get hurt. A lot of people say I'd rather be a single woman and keep my self-respect, while true, do that, but I feel to me there's only so long you be alone before you'll want to know that feeling again. Because it is the best feeling. I think a lot of people maybe are truly scared to admit that love is the best thing ever created. I fall into the people who will admit, while scary, it be the greatest thing to happen. Better than success, or making money, greater than being popular or having tons of friends. Love binds together what's obvious.

The right person huh? Again I can't help but think men go through the radar scanning in choosing a mate. But I guess I would support that as sometimes I put my gaurd up and examine a man and his worth. I have to, no one will look after me.

Those traps will always occur because no one person is better than the other. We weren't all made to think/feel/look the same way. Its always going to be there regardless of how little or much love I have inside me. The thing I have to think about to being prepared for when it does happen. And accepting it for it is, then moving on.

Neither do I like I said. It is one of the hardest things to know in life. Being loved in return. You question their intentions when you aren't getting any answers. I'm not just talking about love, but friendship as well. The fundation. You just never know what they're thinking unless they say so.

One of these days, a guy will see that. *shrugs*

I have faith it will all work out.

It might take some time, but it will happen. I would be shocked otherwise.

You appear to have plenty going for you.

Hell, look at me....40 years old, never married, haven't even dated seriously for 10 years....and then I come on Mingle, and everything changes. Now I've got something I never would have expected in a million years.

It should...if it ain't getting worse I say.

I hope I do. Or starting to, getting my life going, finishing school, all that life stuff.

Coming on here has a changed me a little too.

It's a full moon, don't drive yourself nuts over analyzing.

You just need to find a way to stop thinking. Let yourself go and relax. It's a psychological thing. I had this problem with over thinking myself.

Yup....your not ready!
Once you realize that you truly love, respect and understand YOURSELF....no who you are, and what you want, you will be ready for anyone and anything dear.
Write down what you will and will not except out of a relationship,carry it in your back pocket for reference, and live by it. The pride and confidence that will grow with in... will then begin to glow like a bright star. You will attract only the best of people... and be treated like you deserve to be treated.

Truly...the trick is to love yourself first.... and know that fear is the emotion that helps us LEARN!

Warmest Regards...Ron

LOL My computer broke, I got nothing else to do really.

It comes and goes. And it isn't always so bad to look at things for what they are, especially when being around people that don't let you pick their brain.

I certainly have no problem offering advice or insight when it may be of use, as Terry (iam4u) has taken note of.

Which reminds me, thanks for the words and reassurance, Terry.

I need it every now and then. After all, I'm constantly dealing with people who can understand how I can be so smart and so dumb at the same time. I know the answer....have tried to explain it....but the concept is just too alien for them to comprehend. So, I guess all I can do is shrug and move on.

Yeah that's what I was looking for here to make sense of all this. Sometimes I don't know myself what's going on until I get it out there in words. I reread and its like "oh well that makes sense." Underneath all the rambling there's some truth there I guess.

Well, maybe some do do that. But not all of them.. and honestly, who really wants that? I mean, sure, we all have things we look for in a potential partner / mate, but I like to think most of us are not so stubborn as to throw someone to the side over things on first glance. We are all deeper than our appearance... and it is looking below the surface where you find what is person is really all about. Of course, who am I to talk, as I have bene a victim of light impressions for years.

I can agree with you about surrendering and how it feels. I've been through it, and it is an awful feeling to then be betrayed or abandoned. But what it can do is give you lessons into yourself, and what not to do next time, or what to avoid. I mean falling in love, can sometimes be unavoidable, but that does not mean you have to sacrifice who you are and what you are as a result. You do not have to stay single to keep your self-respect, you just have to always be aware of who you are and what is going on around you.

Love was not created, it is a very complex emotion, most of us go through to vary degrees. But, indeed, when it is true, it is one of the most beautiful and powerful forces on Earth. People have spent their whole live pursuing it, studying it, debating it, arguing over it, and fighting about it. Songs, books, movies and plays have been composed to help us examine it and try to make sense of it. Virtaully everywhere you look, it is thrown at you like a barrell of bricks, and yet still it eludes more of than not. But.. it is the greatest thing one can find I totally believe that and furthermore, I agree it surpasses all of those things and more. It opens doors to both yourself and everything around you.

Yeah, I believe in the right person. Someone you can communicate with on the highest levels. Someone who not only listens to you, but hears everything you say, verbally spoken or otherwise. And as far as knowing what they are thinking... that is where communication comes in. Talking, sharing and realy listening to one another. Any sort of relationship, friendship or love, can not work one sided.

As I told you, you are a wonderful woman, you are so full of doubt though and that is just eating you alive. You just need to be able to love yourself and the amazing person you are, before worrying about who will or will not love you in return. :)

As others have said, relax. Stop and smell the flowers, and find some roses along the way.

that was super cool of him to call - sounds like a good candidate for "keeperdom"

if u don't go out with him I will PERSONALLY SPANK UR BUTT

I feel personally insulted by that.

Errrr, you're so on though, nice guys, a rare thing if there ever was one. We're chatting more and more. I still can't believe he wants to talk to me. lol Find it a little funny.