It sounds like a panic attack.

no idea why you would not be ready?????? I seldom get nervous on dates so I won't be much help most likely

maybe there was a subconcious "red flag" of some kind????

if not, I would encurage you to go if he will reschedule....just as a friend - it will be good practice & really. what else are u really doing anyway??? If he is so super hot that u are nervous - just remember he bleeds red like the rest of us....

AND he is prolly nervous too

Uh yeah. A friend called me, even though it was killing him to actually talk to me and we were discussing it. My voice was shaking and I just finished crying. I even cried during it...my voice was so shaky and weird.

I guess I always think I never deserve it, when I get it. I cop out. Get scared. Clam it up.

Yeah the only red flag I can think of was my self-esteem.

He called me the day after to ask if I was OK. To say I was completely shocked would be an under understatement. *sigh* I'll consider trying again soon. My mind needs to be detoxed before I start going out again.

Guys in some cases get more nervous than we do. I'll try and keep that in mind the next time we talk.

All comes in time I guess. I think I got plenty of it too.

I was told by someone the other day that I talk like I blog. I always talk like I'm writing a column. Compliment? Maybe. I appreciate being interesting always I try really hard at that.

Hmm, sometimes being alone is just the answer for everything. And I don't believe in the negative connection of the word. Taking care of yourself is key. I haven't even finished my makeover yet! lol You guys will be the first to see it. All of me is a work-in-progress.

For what it's worth, I disagree with Jeannie.

I've had a number of panic attacks, and know others who have had them. We all agree that a panic attack feels similar to a heart attack, which is what makes it rather scary. The difference is that a could key signs are missing.

Here's some of what I experience during a panic attack:

My heart races.
I feel like I cannot breath.
My mind cannot focus, period.


For me, it is always something external which triggers the attack: too much work, another person, the business is barely afloat, etc.

I suppose it could be different from person to person, but I have never met anyone who's had a panic attack without experiencing the three things I listed.

don't worry about it. your just not ready. just go with your got feeling. when the time is right things happen. every one gets that way when you going to meet someone special for the first time.

Also, forgive me for not being more encouraging or insightful. I feel like I am going through my own little funk of late. Not really sure why. It could be a lot of things.

It could even be because I have to sell off a bunch of stuff from my dad's estate, without any help even though I don't have a vehicle at the moment. Makes it rather difficult to sell some of the more collectible stuff...

GEEZ!! You guys!! She canceled a date!! Not a job interview for CFO of Amgen!! Just reschedule if he is still interested.

I am getting out there a lot more. Getting out of my hermit shell so to speak. I always had this problem with going out. Haha, New Years for me was just a one time thing. I never do stuff like that. I tend to like the simple/fun things. Maybe even do things without money involved. That's what I enjoy. Nature, I'm like Pocahontas, big nature lover.

Hmm, if those are the symptoms then I definitely had something along the lines of that.

I understand. And for the most part, I tend to agree with a lot of what you're trying to say. Being in a funk: I don't feel like me at all. I'm definitely not crazy. So that's ruled out.

lol I'm sorry you're dealing with that it must be so difficult to juggle everything all together and try to make sense of it. Not having a vehicle? I know that feeling....

Seriously! Good LORD.

try talking with more guys on the phone,,and KEEP on trying to BE the real relaxed YOU...Through more and more conversations,,YOUR build your inner courages and NOT suffer this anxiety that your having now..
Being able to help fix you(as you put it,lol)and STILL not have that RIGHT THERE IN FRONT PERSON, to see or feel your FEAR...
Hell,,I'd be trying to get as many dudes to call ya as you have time to deal with,,because trust me,,I was not a good conversationalist when I fist TRIED talking on just the phone,,let alone in person,,,,but time and many times doing that,,alows you that time needed,,,to FEEL,,relaxed and YOU,,,,and YOUR be GREAT AT IT,,and with it and you..The MORE times you except compliments,,and the MORE you have to say,,HEY BULL-CHIT,,,and stop their cwords to you,,,the more your able to just deal with any and all in person..
Thats my best for ya to try,,as I KNOW it worked for,,,YES,,ME,,lol

Obviously, she should reschedule if that's what she wants.

Mariah, don't talk yourself out of that part. That's part of the problem here. One of the best ways to get over it is to just plain do it.

However, what the discussion has really been about is not the cancelling of the date, per se, but rather a coming to grips with the self. Mariah's going through a period of self-discovery. Funny thing is, you already know who you are, deep inside. It's just time to free yourself. We all have stuff we lock away deep in our subconscious. Opening the locks to those dark vaults is never easy, but it is essential to allowing ourselves to live as we want to live.

When it is said that you must love yourself, it is meant that you must learn to let go of all the things inside which are holding you back. Most all of our insecurities are derived from how others perceive and influence us. If it happens often enough, it brainwashes us into believing we are less than we really are. A young mind is impressionable, but repetition is the key to brainwashing. Combine the two, and it's a recipe for some really bad programming as a child or a teen. As they say in the computer field, "garbage in, garbage out". To be happy - to be able to sustain happiness - we must reprogram ourselves according to our own image, not somebody else's.

Good advice Action,,,and as I may not comment to many of your replies to others,,i DO READ THEM,,and most times agree with your wisdoms... Just a slap on your back to show ya,,I do like all that you do here to try and help others...

Hmmm, yeah...I try to from time to time. Like I said, the guy that lets me be me, unabashed and unapologetic, then I'll definitely put ALL my insecurities to die. I just wish guys had longer conversations in general. Maybe I attract those type of guys anyway.

Yeah, either you're good or not. There's no gray area. I know I don't gives guys enough chances so there's that. Its crazy, looking back on the guys I've been with. Scares me thinking how time I wasted worrying after the first few dates whats up. Grrr, somebody slap me.

You're awesome Terry. Rock on. I learn so much from you always.

Yeah, she wants to. lol She does. But the kitten hides sometimes.

My ongoing battle with life is just to do it. Do the things I really want to do. Do what feels right. So simple a task yet I make it out to be the hardest of all.

It started out being about him. But really, that guy, as great as he is is NOT the ultimate decision. lol I coulda dated him, came back here, talked about how great it was; all that lovely stuff. But the truth is, I put the breaks on this.

Knowing who I am? I've know it for a while. My sister constantly tells me the same things too. I'm really trying. Came a long way from being "silent type" I always was. Self-discovering is an eternal firefly that keeps treading on.

I feel like, whether I do change or not, my past is just there. There's nothing I can do to make any drastic changes, can't erase it. Must embrace. Must accept. Must come to terms with flaws in order to function in a human body. The thing is, I've listened to the inner monologue of others for far too long. I really did start to believe I was going to end up passionless, ill-fated and destroyed from everything bad that's ever happened to me. I never listened to my real voice. The one likes to laugh, makes jokes about pop-culture, discuss whatever the topic is at the moment; just me. The girl, err, the woman I'm growing into. She never gets the spotlight. I think its about time she did regardless of what the world thinks.

Awwww,thank you,,that means a bunch to me..
And most young dudes have two types of conversations,,going on for hours without having a freakin clue to what the hell their saying or asking,,,and then the ones who you have to ask every two minutes IF their still on the line... as their speechless, or something?
I've played pool all my life,,been in many tournaments,,and STILL today,,I will be nervous as hell at its beginning?
AND,,If letssay I was to meet you in person,,you would NEVER think or hear my voice as being scared to death,,BUT,,for my first fifteen minutes meeting ANY ONE Job, friend, cop, lol,,I am INSIDE,,on the edge of my seat...Learning to be fine always on my outside,,as I have some or any fears underneath,,,just takes,,YOU knowing YOU better,,in talking and showing your expressions..
First dates make the BEST of us self-contious and parinoid that WE MIGHT NOT be viewed as WHAT THEY THOUGHT US TO LOOK IN PERSON..
And THAT,,you may always carry ,,as I still do..
But its kind-of cool to,,because THEN,,we don't have to worry we have a big piece of lettuce over a front tooth,,as we just ate,,and DIDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT,,,lol,,WE,,WOULD HAVE ALREADY BRUSHED THEM TWICE,,,and LOOKED CLOSE,,lol..
Your always be OK,,with what YOU make up your mind to do,,date or job,,you HAVE BACKBONE,,its just,,knowing how to show OTHERS you have it..being timid,,and pushed down all your life,builds up walls of insecurities,,and inner-dissatisfactions..
Determinations,,like YOU HAVE NOW,,break them fears and walls down,,one brick at a time,,then half a wall will crumble..
I wish you always the best....

Believe it or not, a good relationship will help that process.

It's not necessarily anything your partner does, but rather how the relationship makes you feel inside. It gives you a boost in so many ways. One of the little talked about secrets of the human condition is that love unlocks our greatest potential, no matter where that love comes from.

The hard part is finding one, and then not rushing it. Even then, you have no real control over the other person, so a lot also depends on them.