So a friend of mine got out of a relationship a few weeks ago. I have liked this friend for sometime now and he is well aware of my feelings. He has returned them somewhat. When I say somewhat I mean I know he thinks I am attractive and he likes spending time with me but at the same time he just got out of a relationship so he is not looking for one at the moment. We've discussed being close friends, and that he is into me sexually. So here is what I want advice on: how do I make sure to avoid the "friend zone?" I want to be with him and I am prepared to play along for as long as it takes before he is ready. I just don't want him at the end to just see me as a sex buddy or something like that.

You have already answered your own question...

I did? You have to forgive me I am a little dumb.

You both have established the fact that there is a mutual interest, platonically and sexually...

You accept that your love interest is currently in rebound mode and you are willing to be friends only for whatever time is necessary (wait) until he is past the emotions of a breakup and ready to begin again with someone new.. Sounds like a good plan to me...

:) Thanks for the advice (well in this case more like reassurance)

then don't be one and be honest with him about your feelings - tell him u are looking for more than that

at the same time we can't necessarily control the outcomes as far as how out partners feel about us

Thanks, I think he knows that I am looking for more. And seeing as how he hasn't shut me down I am gonna keep doing what I am doing which is slowly move forward with our relationship and hopefully bring us closer

Your welcome Stony...Good luck!!.... I think if this turns out the way you want it to, your friend will be a lucky to have you...

That's sweet thank you. I hope things work out for both of us

good - sounds great & good luck!

Slow is best. That's how i weed out the men who'd only want me for sex. lol. I'm very good at that. I have a personality radar, so i almost can tell within minutes after meeting someone, whether they're lying or not. A gut instinct thing. Sometimes your concious is trying to tell you something, so listen to it. At least you made your feelings known to him, as it's no use wishing you'd have said it, but then NOT say it. That would be contradicting yourself, really. Good luck. =)

@ Emo chick: I have a very good ******** radar and I am very good at reading between the lines. Unfortunately in this one's case I get the feeling like he still wants to be with his bf but I am pretty sure they are done. THere will likely be some painful nights on my end. But no pain and no gain, nothing good ever came easy

I think even more so, he may see you as a rebound which is just as bad as a sex buddy. For now; don't cross the friend zone and give him till to heal.

Yes, we confirmed our feeling the other day. We didn't have full out sex, but I guess you could call it heavy patting. I am keeping the best distance that I can but its so hard. I want to text him all the time but he never starts convos with me, only replies after (most of the time anyway :P)

I know more time is needed and I am playing along as best I can. I really do appreciate the words of support. Thanks all of you

I've seen so many people worry that much about stuff, that they've given themselves a nervous stomach. Would hate the same to happen to you. I don't like seeing people worry. I know what it's like to want a certain person to be yours.

True

herein lies the biggest hurdle to affective communication, imo. anyone who thinks they're good at reading between the lines is a terrible communicator as i've discovered. attempting to read something that was never said is always unfair to the one doing the saying. read and listen to exactly what what was said. if you read or hear something different then ask for clarification but never ever assume that anything that was said meant anything other than precisely what was said

Good luck, StonyGuy.

I agree with this. Thinking you've read something that wasn't actually there/said often causes more problems. It's much better to ask what someone meant if you are unsure.

I very much agree with this. It's very dangerous to "read between the lines". I just take people at their word. What they say is what they mean.