1. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch this."

8. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

9. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

10. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words to' The Star Spangled Banner' are, "Gentlemen, start your engines".

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

18. You can't get married to your sweetheart 'cause there's a law against it.

19. You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high school.

20. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

21. Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".

22. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it

LMAO

Very funny! Thanks for sharing.

My uncle's name is Daryl!!!

I live in the crappiest little trailer in the crappiest little trailer park in Wisconsin...

How do you know all my neighbors?

Know what they do for Halloween?

Pumpkin...

that's funny stuff man