I just finished my profile, after putting off making a decent one for ~a month. Ready for feedback. Constructive only please.

Some helpful tips, a number of things that I realize may be considered "bad," like referring to myself as a princess, have been done intentionally for a reason. In the case of the example, I'm aware it comes across as "this girl is high maintenance." I chose to use that term precisely because I *am* what the average user would call high maintenance and therefore want to attract someone who won't be put off by it.

i like it!!! You are a pretty girl with a super cute smile!!!

YOu come off as adventurous without being a thrill seeker. You seem very intelligent and up to try anything at least once.

I would add more photos. Good luck!!

Welcome to the site. Looks good! You may want to add more pictures, though.

I only have a webcam, but I'll try to get more pics. Thanks guys!

Find a friend with a decent cell phone or digital camera and get a variety of pictures of yourself.

If only I had such a friend. There's also a couple things I would very much like to add to my profile still, and I just can't think how.

try going to cameroid.com or seenly.com to snap a few shots...

I've improved and expanded it, hopefully for the better. I've had the flu, but I'll get more pics up this week too.

lose the negative such as this:

"PS As of this posting, all nudgers will be blocked. If you're not brave enough to send a message, you're not brave enough to be anyone's knight, least of all mine.
I do not accept friend requests. I am here for a husband and that is all.
Since I hate my state's culture anyone from here or part of the culture will also be blocked without any remorse.
Replying does not always mean I'm interested. Sometimes it just means I need to talk to somebody besides the ogres."

men look at a profile to see if a woman has what WE WANT. besides, what ogre will admit to being an ogre. stay positive.

I agree. She is looking for something very specific and doesn't want to waste anyone's time. I think it's a great profile.

I don't respond to nudges either. I figure if they can't think of something to say to me, then the conversation isn't going to go very far anyway.

Her profile is about what she wants. If a man looks at it and doesn't see something he wants, he'll move on.

I don't see that it will help, though, as I have said in my profile not to nudge me as well, but I still get them all the time. Unfortunately, most men don't read profiles.

And I don't see that it's a bad thing to point out that replying does not equal interest. That is completely true!

Exactly. As seen in this thread, there are other ways to see it besides negative. If I want a guy who wants a woman who knows what SHE wants and goes after it, looks like I've got the bait covered.

That little snippet is becoming an extra insurance though, as it's kind of obvious anyone from my state that messages me didn't read my profile. Starting to look like I didn't need the insurance I put in.

Well I love it!!!

Mothette..JRbogie is spot on with his

advice!!


Drop the negative like a hot potato....and just focus on the

positive !

A man truly looking for a mature commitment, will immmediately

notice the negative and run.

Stay positve and always focus on what you WANT, and never on

what you DON'T want....it will make all the difference in what

and whom you attract in life.

Be Blessed Now

I completely redid my profile, what do you guys think?

I have never been to Utah. My inner skeptic screams out that discriminating against 2.7 million people, no matter what the experiences that informed that discrimination, is misplaced.

I could hypothetically love every other thing about your profile and that would cause me to turn away without any further consideration.

$.02


Well I like it more now. However the whole question and answer section may feel highly meaningful to you, but it just seems odd to me . . . at least the questions themselves. It is not that I would be against answering really any question you could toss my way, but for a first impression prior to really even talking it seems like an awfully specific set of things to require before even talking to a person.

I would keep the rest as it really sets up what you are looking for, but the Q&A section (without context to why these questions are important to you) just seems hmmm, how to describe it . . . let me copy it for a second here to help myself understand how it made me feel reading it.




1. This question seems like you have some kind of hang up about religion, but it doesn't really say anything about that hang up. Most people might see that as reason to not engage with the very first question. Maybe this is intended as a filter, but I think the vagueness works against you.

--So for me, I am an atheist, but not a hard core anti-theist or anything, personally I am more about tolerance and wouldn't have a problem with a person who was moderate in their beliefs. So for me your question makes me wonder if I am wasting my time even answering your question . . . I think that is probably true of most people who are not serious about religion one way or the other. I think it best to either come right out and say what you think about religion or spiritual beliefs, or not make it an issue at all.

2. Shesh . . . I have to describe my sense of humor . . . man and I thought the profile thing was hard! Personally my sense of humor is spontaneous wit mixed with play full sarcasm, if you want examples you would need to hang out or just basically wait for the spontaneity.

3. I think this is the most reasonable question really.

4. Man, morality . . that is its own philosophical field of study, we could be here for days. Relationships, that is also pretty broad. Essay like answers for a single question puts most people off before they have even got to know you by chatting for 5 minutes, no less not at all.

5. Is this like a Rorschach test? hehe.



Conclusion, you are clearly smart, and you are pretty, and you are clearly having the same problem many intelligent people have . . . vomitous maximus of the profileus.


Personally I am in no hurry myself, and have read a profile and thought OMG that is the person for me, just to meet them or engage in conversation to find out . .. meh, not so much. So from my perspective there is not amount of filtering a profile is going to do in the end. I just have to engage with the people in conversation and see where it takes me.

Good luck!

Heh, BBC, I live in Utah now so I think I know what's she's getting at. However, Mothette, it seems to me it would be better to be clearer about where you're coming from (keeping it positive, as others have said). Also, you really might be surprised how many Utahns there are, including ones of your age, who are the farthest thing from LDS conservatives. But if you're really eager to just get out and away, there's nothing wrong with that.

I have to admit that if I saw this kind of profile for a man I was interested in, I'd be very unlikely to respond. It comes across almost as a job application. But it may work better for men, I dunno. Anyway I think you definitely will weed out a lot of riffraff this way. Good luck.

I think I'll try reducing the questions to just #3 and #5, then it'll be a bit less like a job app and still let me know who so much as skimmed my profile (versus only looking at my pictures.)

I apologize for not quoting, I'm using my phone.
@klc: I'm not sure about full on polygamy, and I'm not sure it would work anyway. Hence "possibly extendable." As for defining my disabilty, well, its not easy to define, unlike deafness or being unable to use your legs. There's also a lot of political propoganda based stigma around people like me whose disabilities aren't so visible, so I'm not really comfortable saying too much about it where the world can see.
@bushidobillyclub & bravalady: regarding UT, its not as simple as the fact I don't fit in with the culture or the counter cultures, that who I am clashes with the values of the majority, or even that the environment is literally bad for my health. I could never think of it as anything but a place where I was abused, hated, rejected, raped, controlled, shamed, neglected, and hurt. I just want to get away and start a new life the best I can with someone who isn't tainted by this messed up place.

I have a much bigger problem though: hate mail. Everytime I have anything alluding to the fact that poor=not going to work in my profile on any dating site, I get a lot of mail from (apparently auto-rejected) guys that is downright mean. Mingle is no exception. I block them of course but it hurts just to get it in the first place, and is very discouraging. Is there anything I could add to my profile to help prevent this?

Its too important to eliminate, and they absolutely have to be able to provide, over provide even, for both of us so rewording it in that way would give a very misleading message. It sounds like "I can't contribute but I can take care of myself and don't need much" when its really "I can't contribute, you'll have to take care of me completely financially and I need a lot & it all has to be high quality."

Btw I'm most definitely as bad or worse financially than these guys, plus disabled and living in an abusive home, so I really don't give a **** what excuse they have because there just isn't an acceptable one.