Topic: Silent Treatment !
Pepper2007's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:32 PM
I had my chance? I should,nt have to guess, or concede that a problem exists!

oldsage's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:35 PM
Pulling the silent treatment act & then saying talk about what, does not look good to me. Seems the lady wants you chasing her, which means she is in charge. This is wrong for both sex'es. You communicate well here, why can't you do the same with her. Something wrong in this situation, on both sides.
Fish or cut bait. Have a conversation with questions like your asking here or walk away. Your choices, decide.

Pepper2007's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:37 PM
okay pops!

oldsage's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:38 PM
No problem, son.

Pepper2007's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:39 PM
lol !

unsure's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:42 PM
I don't know how long you have been in the relationship, but if it hasn't been very long, if she is pulling the silent treatment already then you are in trouble!! You are right...you shouldn't have to guess that there is a problem....you should know, if you are not sure whats going on, then you need to talk to her!
If she is someone that has a hard time communicating, then you are going to have to figure out if this whole relationship is really worth trying to figure out if she is mad at you all the time. You are going to be the one who has to do ALL of the talking and ALL of the communicating. There are people out there that have trouble talking out their problems. I happen to be one of them, only because I don't want to hurt anyone.
I guess you need to figure out if you are going to let this lady drive you crazy and is this whole situation really worth it? If not, then maybe you might be better off to walk away.

Pepper2007's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:50 PM
okay!

sweetcountrygirl's photo
Tue 07/17/07 03:55 PM
Hmmm I didnt read all the replies...but here is my take...IF you can't talk about it, there is no trust somewhere...Either she thinks you should know, and that is immaturity on her part which is silly...because I thought all women after 20 or so,n know that guys need direct comunication, not implications... No beating around the bush so to speak...

Silent treatment is deadly and can kill a relationship fast...

Pepper...have you tried jsut asking her...look..I dont know what's bothering you, but I'd really like to know? If I messed up, I'm sorry, please talk to me...and hand her flowers or a box of chocolate...(it should work cause if there is no communication, that means no sex, so to a woman, chocolate works!!! LOL)


Pepper2007's photo
Tue 07/17/07 04:25 PM
Thanks!

Tomokun's photo
Tue 07/17/07 06:31 PM
Practical?huh

Well, I don't know...I don't know if it's practical, but it is certainly different then what you have been doing.

But I guess if you are ready to end it, then you are ready to end it. It seems to me that is the direction that you want to end. Now, I don't claim to know you, or anything about your situation (I can only speak from what I've read in this thread), but if you want to figure out whether a solution is practical...then you are at least subconsciously ready for an end to the relationship.

Ladies will drive you nuts...you show me a guy who tells you different and I'll show you a liar. Still, if you look at it objectively (or from a practical viewpoint if you prefer), then what they want isn't all that esoteric.

1.) They want to feel loved.
2.) They want to feel special.
3.) They want to feel safe.

Yeah, not exactly different from what anyone else in the world wants; but if it's that simple then it shouldn't be a problem, right?

laugh

That' when communication comes into play, because men and women typically communicate very differently, for very different reasons. I'm not going to get into details here, cause you probably don't care:wink:, but I hope you can at least agree with that general statement.

So, back to being practical...which means SOLUTION ORIENTED!!!bigsmile

So...logic dictates that she isn't giving you the silent treatment because she can...she has a reason (and probably a good one in her opinion). That reason relates to at least one of our big three, if not all of them in some way shape or form. It would be an extremely improbable situation that would cause it to deviate from that.

Again being solution oriented, if you care to, then you want to...for the lack of a better phrase...emotionally move her from her feelings of deficiency in those areas back to feelings of security. (I know, this sucks the romance out of it, but if you want practical...well I just hope I'm not wasting my time, lol)

So, how to do that? Well, again skipping over a lot of detail, as is generally accepted you need to use communication to act on an emotional level. Women (generally speaking) use communication as a reward system and to build rapport, while men use communication as a means of relaying facts or information. So, you need to communicate with her in a manner that is going to make her feel safe; emotionally.

The flowers show her that you care, that you have thought about her, and that you are concerned about her; far more eloquently that a phone call during work hours saying almost bleakly, "We need to talk." Asking her about her feelings also shows her that you are interested in her, on a level that is familiar (because you are using rapport building phrases rather than asking for information). This also shows that you care about her and is part of the usual socializing process that typically occurs with females. All of this communicated concern serves to build up security.

Man, I'm sorry this is such a long post, but you seem like you genuinely wanted to help...and I can understand the need for practicality.

So, to cut a lot of writing mercifully short, the question you should be asking is, "Is she worth it?" If she isn't, then it seems like it would be a waste of three days.

Well, I'm off like a prom dresssmokin I hope you come to a resolution! Good luck!

SheNerd's photo
Tue 07/17/07 06:52 PM
Hey, Hitler, you're good, no matter what Eva told the monkey... :)

Tomokun's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:00 PM
Have you seen her, my Eva? I hope she didn't run away with that monkey, the charming bast*rd!

SheNerd's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:30 PM
Sorry, I've been sworn to silence and my bellows have been duct taped for added protection.

Tomokun's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:33 PM
***Tragic pose*****sad WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!





:cry: I shall never forget you the snap in my Schnapps

SheNerd's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:35 PM
Apologies Mein Fuhrer, it must have been the outsized bananas.

Tomokun's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:38 PM
Damn them! I knew that they were ripe for the picking!grumble

no photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:42 PM
Silent treatment past a day is never good...if u cant talk with the person you love about "anything"..then whats the sense of being wiht them?

SheNerd's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:47 PM
No woman can resist an overbearing ape in lederhosen.

TheShadow's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:52 PM

Well I didn't look at what everyone else said but,if there is the thought of ending the relationship there is alot more then the slilent treatment gping on. So it's not a matter of how lond you wait to ask to talk. It's a matter of what you need to talk about. Over all, I would let them come to me when they feel comfortable.

TheShadow's photo
Tue 07/17/07 07:53 PM
sorry for the spelling. Damn fingres lol