Not that I know of. I suppose they could be, with the proper training.

But, as far as anyone can tell, they never think about the consequences of their actions, they react primarily by instinct, and they reproduce as an automatic function. They just do what they're "supposed to do," in the animalistic sense. I see lots and lots of people doing the exact same thing. I think we're in dire need of Nietzsche's ubermensch right about now.

Planning is one thing, but I've seen very little of that. Lots of women have told me "I had kids because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. Now I'm not so sure I did the right thing."

Not everybody is cut out to be a parent. A lot of them have kids anyway. There's no thought involved, they just do it. Years ago, I met a woman who had 7 kids by the time she was 22. They were living in an abandoned trailer, no electricity, no heat, no furniture. They were sleeping on piles of dirty clothes.

There are quality of life issues here. Navygirl hit on a few of these earlier -- the expense, the demands on time, etc. Lots of people just reproduce indiscriminately, like salmon.

All I'm saying is it's a damn shame I can't find someone who had the forethought to take a look at the realities of reproduction, the ramifications of reproduction, and who might have said, "Hey, maybe this isn't for me." People don't think -- they let biology and societal expectation do their thinking for them.

Well said and especially the part about being defined by our reproduction. Lex, I think you and I think outside the box and its refreshing to see someone that doesn't think his whole life is all about having kids. I have never had one and glad I didn't. I don't feel I missed anything by not having kids and my biological clock wasn't ticking for the feeling.

Agreed. There is nothing worse than when someone has a child or a pet but doesn't take the time to care for them. I find that very sad actually. My parents should never have been parents as they couldn't provide for us and abused us. I wonder how many other kids out there are suffering the same way.

in a world of billions,
you're not the only one.
i don't understand humans.
i don't know why they reproduce.
i think it takes a whoooooole damn lot to even think you're capable of raising another human.
they say humans are the smartest animal.
psh.
i've met plenty that prove that statement false.

Thank you, that's right in line with my own personal experiences, too.

My parents should not have had kids. They weren't bad people, and my Mom made the occasional token effort to fulfill the role, but they were both totally unsuited to be parents. They did it more out of inertia than anything else.

I won't make the same mistake. I wouldn't be a good parent, and I'm not about to inflict my incompetence upon some innocent kid who just happened to have the wrong genes at the wrong time.

I've known plenty of people who had kids, I've seen what they have to go through, and there's no way I could cope with that.

The whole concept of having kids just doesn't make any sense to me. I often equate it to living in a universe where, on your 25th birthday, you're supposed to take a gun and blow a hole through your right foot. And you're thinking, "Wow, this is gonna hurt like hell, and it's really gonna hamper my mobility, but I have to do it because that's what society demands and expects.

And, in that universe, people who refused to shoot their feet would be on dating sites expressing frustration over not being able to find a compatible match.

haha.
it seems like a very simple thing,
but the world seems to be oblivious to it.
it's just baffling.
society deems me weird for it.
i'm not the sane one.
yet i believe there's something seriously wrong with all of them.

Yep, I agree. There are some that can barely dress themselves; never mind raising kids.

There's a lot of inertia out there, people doing what they believe they're supposed to do. It's almost like having been pre-programmed.

I see people all the time who run their lives this way -- where they live, where they work, who they vote for, what they eat, who they associate with, who and when they worship, what they watch on TV, how they treat their kids, etc., based solely on what someone has told them or shown them.

There is never a thought of "Why am I doing this?" or "Could I be doing this another way?" or "What's best for everyone in the long run?" It's all about ME and NOW and it exists in a tiny box of mainstream options.

I know all about being deemed "weird" by society. But, to me, living like they do would be worse than being dead....

I've tried to, for many years; found very few of them out there. And even the smart ones generally can't get past the biological clock concept.

In my experience, biology trumps intelligence every time. Or almost every time....

Actually, I'm really sick of the "little boys" who email me...19 years old?....Come'on already!!!

I've got jewelry older than that!!

I've got socks older than that. But my question is: what are you doing/saying/thinking that gets them to contact you in the first place?

WOW!...I have no idea what I, personally, contributed to that kind of attention Lex

Maybe, some probably think that ALL dating sites exude "desperation" from its members....

I also think that maybe those "little boys" who wants a so called "hook-up" with a woman my age are looking for a Mother Figure and vice versa with the younger women seeking much older men! SECURITY

**Interesting Question Lex**

Lex, I think you should forget about attracting the young ones and travel to different countries writing or making a documentary on content women who chose not to have children. I think that would be exciting.

agreeeeeeeeeeeeed.
it turns out there's at least three of us who haven't shot ourselves in the foot.

But three out of seven billion? I think that's even worse than the odds of winning the lottery!

This is the argument I really love -- they call childfree people selfish, and then they say "Don't you want someone to look after you when you get old?" So basically, the whole point in having kids is so there's a built-in nursing staff down the road. That's certainly not selfish.

I see it this way: my books are my kids. And I will never have to change their diapers, or send them to college, or sit and listen while they tell me I just don't understand. I'll take creating over procreating any day of the week....

The world doesn't need more people. It needs for a whole helluva lot of the existing people to understand that it doesn't need more people.

what if you met someone who accepted you as you are but she had a few beers now & then or had a child? I mean, what are the priorities of your criteria?

I would think that as important as it is for you to find someone who will take u as is - no "Stepford Husband" thing going....that you would be thrilled just to find that quality with an attraction. I think it is a hard quality to pin down, prticularly with a much younger woman who is still seeing mental pictures of

"The Perfect Husband" and the well pressed suit....

not that you'd stray completely from your other preferences...but wouldn't you grant that same acceptance to someone u care about that u yourself seek, I guess is what I am asking?

Lex, I really do think your profile may just be a bit too long. Do you think it's possible maybe a lot of people get intimidated by big words, fancy phrases and a lot of info about you? You might have killed the mystery there. I know you are a writer and all .. I am too but you gotta leave some mystery, lol.

I took the old profile down and replaced it with one that's only a few lines long. I don't know if it will make any difference, but I've heard the "intimidating and complicated" allegations often enough to think maybe you have a point.

If not, I can always put the old profile back up!

The problem is, I've fudged on this stuff before, and always regretted it. In the end, it has to come down to no kids, no drugs, no alcohol. Everything else is negotiable.