Thanks, KLC. Nice sentiments. I hope that comes true some day, but today is not some day. My yesterdays were full of loss. Today is pretty darn good. My cup of regrets is only half full, and I have many more mistakes yet to make. I'm just careful not to repeat the same mistakes. Some day, I will write a book called, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Personally been through both it seems they have some of their own unique pains and some that are all too familar.

Divorce or Death it seems like at least half of your world abandons you not just the spouse. Then many of them suddenly see you as a threat no matter how careful you are not to share your misery with anyone.

What really burns me is that people seem to view us as somehow needy or privelged depending how their day is going. I am so sick of having to deal with the assumptions that people make sometimes I feel like... well you can guess.

I don't know if we can educate others or if I even want to at times. I suppose it might make it easier to get through sometimes if you actually had some kind of guide notes. Seems like if we have GPS for our cars, phones, even search engins for the computer somehow the word would have gotten out.

I just wish people would not see me and think Oh I know what she is about before they even have a cup of coffee. I don't have a crystal ball so I doubt hey do either.

I've gone through both. For me, divorce was something to get over, and the death of my family is something I live with. I never wake up and think that my first wife is part of my life, but a chapter of. With my family though, I still wake up sometimes thinking they are here till I fully wake up. For me at least it is a different connection to their spirits and lives. I have very good thoughts and feelings about both situations, there is just an un-finished sense though when it comes to my family. I've heard this same thing from others who have gone through it. For some of them they did have to find new friends, for myself I'm the loner type (even in a crowd)so it didn't effect my outlook on my relationship with others.

mg1959, longtime....i personally miss you around here, and i hope you will be around for awhile.

Hi Joy

Good to see you. It's been crazy busy but always have my mingle family in my thoughts.

peace and love and all that good stuff

michael

Pancreatic cancer... How I hate that disease! I can not count on one hand how many people I have lost to that alone. I am glad in a way to see that there are a few exceptions to how long people live after diagnosis. I am sure you know that most people only have a couple months if that at time of diagnosis. The happy thought is that you will forever keep your beloved husband alive in your heart with memories you share and love you will forever have for him. I empathize with you and I truly hope you find peace one day with your loss.