It seems she has some calculations about how much to do & how much to show.

I've seen plenty of people with such tendency & many of them tried to advice me too like she did you, at every stage of my 17 years career right from Trainee engineer to Senior manager.

I think the best way to tackle with this kind of person is to do their brain storming & expose their tendency openly to the superiors just in front of them!! What happens..??? nothing...!!these cowards don't say anything then or latter & the peace rules always!!

Okay, now that I'm a little more awake with brain cells functioning....

I have dealt with difficult co-workers. I won't say I have one now who sits right next to me and needs some serious therapy for her issues because it would be wrong to single her out individually, however, I know hard this situation can be.

I kill with kindness. When she says something biting or critical I respond with something like "Gee, that's a really good thought/idea/concept. But, this works better for me." (Or I consider that her idea might really be a better way and I do it.)

Or when she questions why I am doing something (our boss sometimes tells me to do stuff out of my job description as well) I simply agree with her that I shouldn't have to do it, but "well, the boss told me to and I'm certainly not going to argue with her." Adding a little laugh.

I don't know if this helps, but I find it the easiest way to get along with her....er, I mean difficult co-workers. I never take it personally because it's not. People like that are just managing in life the best way they know how. I feel bad for them because it must be exhausting to be that way.

I also try to be grateful for such folks for they build character in me.

Oh and about the distracting part....

I can't write papers with her chatting either. Granted, she doesn't do that as much as your co-worker seems to. But, I was just completely honest with her and it works....

When you are working and she starts chatting say, "I'm so sorry, but I just have to get this done and I can't think very well and carry on a conversation at the same time." Add a little shrug of the shoulders and a laugh. She may think you are an idiot for not being able to do both, but who cares. She'll stop talking.

This may be a bit trickier than it appears on the surface.

The chick MAY just wanna be sure the job is done right since she has been there longer and may be called in to fix any screw ups.

Though I doubt it.

I used to have some guys yap incessantly while I was doing paperwork. Eventually, I came to the point one day, I slapped my pen down...turned around...stood up...and said "WHAT?!...I am trying to do my godd@mned job. Say what you think you need to say then give me 10 minutes to finish! F**K!!! "

Suprisingly enough...it worked. My advice...TAKE your position. She seems to think she has an option or an opinion.


Not as much fun as a good shanking but, just as much adreniline.

great advice,,,

Hey there,

why don't you just tell her what you wrote here ? Say that you have to talk to her and try to understand why she behaves like that?
If she is afraid she will loose her job and that will not happen then you can reinsure her after the conversation.
Just say you and her need to talk with each other about work the first time she interrupts you again.

Success !

Agree with old hippie. The only way to deal with people you despise at work is to

1. Tell them the truth
1.1. on a need to know basis
1.2. in a formal demeanor

Try to avoid these:

2. Being a push-over
3. Being cold, frigid, or negative
4. Being chummy
5. Showing irritation or that you have any personal feelings (very important, esp. with the person of absolute authority at work and with people you can't stand)

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Violating any of these rules will cause your co-worker to view you as weak.

Learning your weakness will enable them to use it against you.

Knowing your weakness, will enable your co-worker to teach your other enemies to apply some tactics.

Lying to them is trouble. They can use it against you later.

Being negative or sarcastic will only act on their emotions, and that act will make them hate you.

Giving more information than necessary is going to empower them. It will also give them and others the impression that perhaps you like them. Keep communication to the absolute minimum that is needed for tranferring information.

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You got a job, you did not join a social club. If you are an outcast by self-exile, by keeping yourself isolated socially, is better, much better, than getting socially accepted only to be socially rejected later on.

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Act like a boss, not like a trainee. Little contact with co-workers, on a need to know basis only. Instill in them that you have much more important things to worry about than listening to their gossip, opinions, chatter, jokes.

Well said, Ruth!

I do try and prefer to go to work to do a job , and not to socialize, but its hard when coworkers have a more laid back /social approach to THEIR work and you must work with them.

You and me both sister. The problem is this...when people REALLY become part of your team and you can tell that something is wrong...you lend support and it doesn't matter if it's professional or personal.

A Team mate should be treated like a friend.