well manO has been rocking the jukebox, and i've been countryfing up this thread

huh

It's not ZZ Top Kristy. That's all I got to say.

Hell if it was I could most likely play them at work lmao

Hey Kristie....I came through Ft Worth today..and tried to find that Jo Ann's Store..couldn't find it..found another one, it wasn't nearly as nice as that one we went to.

I'm going to play some Texas HoldEm poker for a while. Doc and Bart will be at the tables manO.

Me neither...and I totally crashed my cell phone streaming Pandora all day long while I worked intently on a project. It's on the charger now trying to recover.

Well if you can do that math, here's another:

One missed call, plus a cratered cell plus and answering machine that doesn't pick up, divided by a late day at work equals:
A. Rain before spring
B. A mis-dial
C. Wrath of the communication gods
D. Blessing of fate

I worked hard today...my brain cannot perform such difficult calculations.

huh

Bless your heart. It would take Einstein to figure much more than that out.

You said "Bless your heart!" One of the things I love about Texas...even if this ISN'T that thread!

The one we went to was by Ridgmar Mall..Not sure which one you went too.

I guess our Mammy's past it down to us. We may be crude folks, but we are polite about it.

Hey y'all this is my last post of the night...but I want to ask y'all if y'all know how to tell the temperature in Texas without a thermometer?

Crickets...Count how many times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds...then add 37...and you have a pretty good idea of the temperature.

Too cool! People may scoff, but some of these things are SO on target! I've never heard this one before, though!

Ya mean I have to find a cricket to find out how hot it is outside

They've been rubbing their little legs off this summer! (I know..that just sounds WRONG! It's a miracle they aren't all blind by now!)

Found yah all

Dear Diary

Just moved to Texas!
Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks.. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and *****. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise *** cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when sat on the seats in the car, I thought my *** was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and *** . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ***, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.

Freaking Texas. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.

I guess I've been diagnosed.