Many people love based on an outside appearance. Many love based on an inside character but only AFTER 'falling' for the outside appearance.


I consider those people with STRICT physical mandates about who they can or cant fall for, or will and wont fall for, to be outside in type lovers.

Those people who do not have strict physical mandates, but leave love open to develop OVER TIME of getting to know someones character and compatibility (Beyond and even BEFORE the physical attraction) to be inside out type lovers.

AS I have gotten older, although I still have physical turnoffs in general, I no longer have these mandates of a persons physical attributes and have learned I can fall in love with 'types' that I may have felt were just not my type otherwise. I am able to fall in love with a person that I have no particular physical attraction to initially but whose character I fall in love with and later DEVELOPS into a physical attraction.


,, Do you think you are an outside in lover (one who doesnt believe physical attraction can DEVELOP over time but must be present immediately)

Do you think you are an inside out lover(one who doesnt believe innate and initial physical attraction are required for attraction to develop)?



note: falling in love does not MANDATE development into a sexual relationship,,

i mean, i'd LOVE a guy who has a beautiful inside, but he gotta be at least attractive tho. just saying!

let's see, outside in - inside out. being a true cancerian the crab moves sideways. moody creature, the crab can fall in and out of love at the changing of the moon. sometimes the crab mistakes love for habit in that getting used to having someone around is not love. in the end i guess it's best not to judge a book by the cover

I have always believed that the ideal situation would be to fall in love with my "best friend". To get to know someone and have the relationship develop from there. Unfortunately in my experience, most women are afraid to "risk the friendship". Then of course they get involved "romantically" with someone else and the friendship usually changes anyway. I think it's time to just stop looking for "love", then maybe it will find me.

i'm with u on that...i give up lookn, maybe it will find me too.

this is me every time --------->

well, barring that hes FUGLY, say he is just average looking and you arent particularly 'attracted' right away

do you think you can BECOME attracted after getting to know him?

I feel ya, we should start a club

the 'not looking for love' club,,lol

I just wish to add this further to this note:

neither sexual relationship MANDATE development of love.

there has to be some kind of physical attraction for me,i don't mean models i mean to me alot of "plain janes"are attractive,then the personality comes into play.

The last man I dated was a charmer....but IMO had nothing going for him in the looks department.

However, I befriended him and evenetually fell for him like a snake for a snake charmer....

I have certain attibutes that I find attractive. However, there is so much to be said for a how a man treats you, carries himself, and so forth.

I think this is why online dating is so difficult. We really cant get past the picture to make an opinion.

REAL LOVE,,can NEVER remain forever inside a heart, IF
it is not based on 'THE ALL THAT IT HOLDS'...inside for their OTHER...

SEX,,or LUST,,,is ALWAYS COUNTED BY all of, ITS MINUTES ONLY!

LOVE IS COUNTED IN EVERY DETAIL OF EVERY SECOND, OF ITS LIFE..



No AMOUNT OF GOOD LOOKS SHALL EARN THAT PERSON A REAL LOVE.

For if a person's heart cannot SEE THEM,, THEN THEY SHALL FADE!

yeah, I dont really believe people can online 'date' because a date to me requires physical interaction of some sort.

but people can get to know each other online to initiate such contact


I see the internet as one form of communication but not the only form that should be considered, because the REAL relationship(hopefully) wont be online

we need to know how we interact in RT, to know how compatible we will truly be

But I'm very thankfull to internet that it is providing me a chance to know atleast views of opinionated personalities like u

I’m not sure it’s so simple. Basing anything on physical appearance is attraction or lust, not love.

I personally do not have to be wowed by appearance, if there is chemistry. That said, you cannot spot someone across a crowded room and fall for their intellect. We ‘see’ people first; therefore initial interest usually comes from some sort of visual/physical stimulation.

Falling in love is different, there must be some substance there, I don’t care how nice her yams are.

I'm an outside in lover aka shallow sob

Kiddo, this is one of the best topics I have seen in a while. We learn so much about ourselves as we go through this issue with time.

thanx,

what is life for, if not learning huh

Just that SAME,,as whats FOREVER FOR,,if its only shared by YOU?

like a true artist,,,lol

Looks mean nothing to me. As long as the guy is friendly, then i don't mind. A guy could be way handsome but treat you like you're less worthy than he is. One of my male friends back home i find him very attractive, but we keep it as friends. I don't have a type,