This is a humor piece I wrote just for the heck of it some time ago. No real point..other than to hopefully put a smile on your face. Enjoy.


Read My Mind.

((((phone ringing))))


Zelda: Hello,thank you for calling The Sorcerers Advocate Reconvergent Spirit hotline .This is Zelda and I'll be your reader today. Are you over the age of 18?

Caller: You call yourselves the S.A.R.S. hotline? Really?

Zelda: Hmm..I never thought about it that way, but-

<click>

(dial tone)

((phone ringing)))

Zelda: Hello and thank you for calling the -um- psychic hotline.This is Zelda and I'll be your reader today. Are you over the age of 18?

Caller: Oh I'm sorry, I thought I was calling the Sorcerer's Advocate Reconvergent Spirit hotline. My mistake. <click>

(dial tone)

Zelda (muttering) Didn't see that one coming.

((phone ringing))

Zelda: Hello this is The Sorcerer's Advocate Reconvergent Spirit hotline . This is Zelda and I'll be your reader today. Are you over the age of 18?

Caller: (Hysterical laughter) Hey! Bob was right! (more laughter from other people in the background). They really DO call themselves the S.A.R.S hotline!!! Hahahaha! <click>

(dial tone)

Zelda: Oh son of a bi-

((phone ringing))

Zelda: This is Zelda, this is the Sorcerer's Advocate Reconvergent Spirit hotline and, yeah, the acronym for that is SARS. You gotta problem with it?

Caller: Hey, whatever floats your boat, lady.

Zelda: (sighs) My apologies sir. It's been a long day. Are you over the age of 18?

Caller: Not to test you more than it sounds like you have been today, Zelda, but shouldn't you know that already?

Zelda: Oh um..well I need to know your age in order to feel out your psychic vibes. They're different for various age groups. I have to adjust my focus for each person.

Caller: You have to calibrate your psychic abilities? Do you get a free lube with that?

Zelda: I'm sorry?

Caller: Nothing. Just my rather sardonic wit at play. Yes Zelda, I'm over the age of 18.

Zelda; Okay..I'm thinking..I'm sensing..let your mind relax caller. What is your name?

Caller: You're zero-for-two, Zelda.

Zelda : (sighs again) Look, buddy.....

Caller: Zelda, let me cut you off right there and offer you my own vision . You're not really a psychic and you only took this job because all of the telecommunication positions in this city were filled. This seemed like a way to make some quick cash and pay the bills, but the guilt you feel over the fact that you make a living scamming people over the phone every day is beginning to take an emotional toll on you. I'm sensing that I'm right. Care to chime in?

Zelda; Well, yeah, actually. You ARE right. How did you know all that?

Caller: I'm reading your mind. That'll be $4.99 for the first minute and $2.00 for each additional minute.

Zelda: Are you kidding me?

Caller: Yeah, I am actually. I know all of this because you were halfway to where you are now a month ago when I last spoke to you, the day I quit that stupid job. I figure thirty more days of this crap couldn't have improved your state of mind.

Zelda: Wait a minute..John?

Caller: Guilty as charged. I got your schedule from Cynthia who used to run the unlicensed betting parlor in the basement of that building.

Zelda; So what made you decide to call?

Caller: Not "what", "who"? I remember you had originally come to the city to secure a career in telecommunications and I'm working for a local television station as programming director now -y'know Downtown's public access WFSH "The Fish"? They have an opening for second shift master control operator and I thought you'd be perfect, so I put in a good word for you with the person responsible for finding someone to fill the position, which happens to be me. If you're interested the job is yours, Janeane.

Zelda; Wow..it's been so long since I've spoken to someone on this line who called me by my real name that I forgot how it sounds. So when can I start?

Caller: Ten minutes ago . All you have to do is hang up the phone right now, tell the manager you quit, come downstairs , get in your car and drive to the station. We'll take the rest from there. So, what do you say? Are you in?

Zelda: What, did you suddenly lose your psychic powers? Don't you know what my answer is already?

Caller: Knock my socks off.

<click>

(dial tone)

- The End. :)

Lol nice one

Love the acronym. :)

that was fun, and i did, smile :)