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| Topic: Wondering if an open relationship is worth it | |
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i say hell no...either way, it's pretty much over...(she might find someone better if you do)
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Thu 04/28/11 07:32 PM
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From the lips of a pet: open relationships have to be based on complete trust, much like faith in a higher power, you do not get "in your face" proof of the mighty existence- or hard proof of partner trust. One will never be quite sure that, after all the pets have gone home, that their lover's thoughts belong to them. a true open relationship does not need to give or get consent, when choosing sexual partners; as long as no STD or extra kids are brought home. This is actually the troublesome type of relationship, unless you really don't give two hoots who has been dipping fingers in your pie. The relationship status that harmony is referring to is "poly" -polyamerious (i know i did not spell that right) , one lover and many playmates. This type of relationship is more one sided, having one dominate(leader) partner and one follower(lover). The dominate partner cannot help but be attracted to others, the lover attempts to understand and thus agrees to "play-dates" where the lover literally gets to approve of the playmates. It shows respect from leader to lover, the leader trusts the lover to pick, and the lover trust the leader to come home again. Our "family's" (wife/husband/me) "playmate shopping" would consist of going to various clubs and learning what each other liked about others. things like, hair style, jaw lines, eye color, body build etc. with this information we could then pick playmates that would please our "leaders" without making our "lovers" feel insecure. At the end of the day in a poly relationship, it is all about coming home to the one you love the most,and being there when they need you, even if it means leaving the hot piece of "candy" and the bar alone. I suspect, izzobel....the majority here are into vanilla relationships... I don't think the OP is looking at polyamorous....moreso his vanilla partner wants to play elsewhere, with or without his consent. To the OP: I do though, admire her honesty after 14 years together...she could have simply gone off and have had numerous clandestine flings or affairs... she has actually shown you and your relationship a great deal of respect by being honest with you, and discussing it. |
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To me an open relationship is a desire not to committ to one person, but in a sense having a back up plan one way or another. If after a long period of time in a committed relationship one person wants to change things to an "open" relationship", chances are their heart isn't into the relationship like it was or anymore. I couldn't accept it, I'll be perfectly honest. I know they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's your's, but in this case not for me. Having trust is one thing, but giving them a free pass is another. We can't always have our cake and eat it too I agree. But its not the way everyones heart works, of course. Some see sex as the entertainment, seperate from the love or the commitment. To me sex is not even entertainment. It's a bodily function. I feel better after it, like after barfing or letting out a big, loud and long one. |
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To me an open relationship is a desire not to committ to one person, but in a sense having a back up plan one way or another. If after a long period of time in a committed relationship one person wants to change things to an "open" relationship", chances are their heart isn't into the relationship like it was or anymore. I couldn't accept it, I'll be perfectly honest. I know they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's your's, but in this case not for me. Having trust is one thing, but giving them a free pass is another. We can't always have our cake and eat it too I agree. But its not the way everyones heart works, of course. Some see sex as the entertainment, seperate from the love or the commitment. To me sex is not even entertainment. It's a bodily function. I feel better after it, like after barfing or letting out a big, loud and long one. I hope thats a joke 
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To me an open relationship is a desire not to committ to one person, but in a sense having a back up plan one way or another. If after a long period of time in a committed relationship one person wants to change things to an "open" relationship", chances are their heart isn't into the relationship like it was or anymore. I couldn't accept it, I'll be perfectly honest. I know they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's your's, but in this case not for me. Having trust is one thing, but giving them a free pass is another. We can't always have our cake and eat it too I agree. But its not the way everyones heart works, of course. Some see sex as the entertainment, seperate from the love or the commitment. To me sex is not even entertainment. It's a bodily function. I feel better after it, like after barfing or letting out a big, loud and long one. I hope thats a joke You read my mind as if it were an open sieve, MsHarmoney. |
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To me an open relationship is a desire not to committ to one person, but in a sense having a back up plan one way or another. If after a long period of time in a committed relationship one person wants to change things to an "open" relationship", chances are their heart isn't into the relationship like it was or anymore. I couldn't accept it, I'll be perfectly honest. I know they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's your's, but in this case not for me. Having trust is one thing, but giving them a free pass is another. We can't always have our cake and eat it too I agree. But its not the way everyones heart works, of course. Some see sex as the entertainment, seperate from the love or the commitment. To me sex is not even entertainment. It's a bodily function. I feel better after it, like after barfing or letting out a big, loud and long one. I hope thats a joke You read my mind as if it were an open sieve, MsHarmoney. lol, imagine if we could read minds,, might be quite frightening to know what people are REALLY Thinking,,lol |
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