Despite divorce orders, ridiculous attempts at changing custody orders, lists of history in and out of other state/child related issues, and an entire legal building that dislikes my ex husband....he still gets to me in the only thing i haven't completely refused to take away from him...our children
He makes no real attempts to be in their lives..and instead of trying to work with the orders issued by the state He continually makes demands to fit his schedule, stating as much that he can change the legal orders at a whim if he chooses.

When i let this get to me I am told to calm down and not worry, but in todays courts of increasing liberalism, i worry about the welfare of my children...

For a man whom cps has deemed abusive in two different states...demanded a weeks worth of supervised visits which he then missed half of and then failed to show up for the final hearing of custody based on that visitation... I know no sensible person would grant him unsupervised visitation, if they would even grant him that, but nonetheless i worry about the welfare of my children, huge legal costs, and huge amounts of undue stress for both myself and my children...and what happens when they get older? How much more damage will this man cause to my kids? It took everything I had to do right by them, I know I can't save them from everything but this is ridiculous.
What do I do?

A smart attorney can find a way of slapping either a restraining order on him, a gag order, or better yet a court sanction refusing him any more court actions.

Then there is my preferred method but there are a lot of predisposing factors in this one. Aluminum baseball bat. Late night. Surprise surprise surprise. Oh Black mask also preferred! So is a good allabye.

Favorite phrase while inflicting many wounds, "quit hitting yourself."



For thick skulls that don't get the point there is always baseball...

i would love to hit my ex hubby with a bat....LOL
sense our son is over the age limit he only owes the back pay.... LOL what a joke..
i called him the other day and they apaently garnished his taxes but i havent seen a dime and when i called support they dont understand why there hasent been any payment sense feb which that was nothing (a blink of a eye)

Because you have stated here in this forum that you guys would love to do damage to your ex....do you realise that in a court of law....you will be found guilty of an offence....and Im not talking about if you hit them or not.....you have a motive and a possible resolution to do so.

My ex was the same, but he has tired of it after a lot of years,

My children are well adjusted and happy.
Just hang in there and take it one day at a time..

..you do the best you can ..and that's all a person can do...

Sadly our system fails at getting justice and doing what is right. Abusive ex spouses learn to play the system too.

Hey...i agree with you fully. No problems there.

Spot on. Nothing more wiser said. One day at a time, but no-one said it will be easy. Mind over matter really. You dont mind and they dont matter. The kids will see whose who sooner than you think. DO NOT say to the kids at all that their Dad is a bad person (or what ever you wanna call him) cos in the long run it will do you more harm than good. Yeah sure you need an out let for frustration and anger, thats what close friends are for. tell them and get it off your boobs (chest) but not so that the kids can hear it. Believe it, it works. As a Dad that has full custody of 2 daughters they will love you more ( thats so much more important than a cheap shot) and respect you more even though the other ex 1/2 has a cheap shot at you. Babe, wear it with a smile and you will confuse the hell out of him, because he wont know what your smiling at....lol...it works well cos sooner or later he will ask what you smile about, then you know you have him by the family jewels, so smile a lot more as you squeeeze his family jewels till it hurts....lol...its fun and you win. take care and stay safe.

Did I just see a police officer?


Or a security dude?

or immigration?


or a special bus driver?




It was a uni-form of some sort!

Calm down Jess we are in australia we are safe..


Its all just a bad dream

Yep kids pick up on everything, but they do take on whatever we show them..
My munchkins know what their dad has done they where there, and some of them are angry, some just block him out..
My youngest boys words where. "He is just a sperm donor, someone else is gong to be my Dad" He was 9 at the time,,
When I ased where he had heard it his response was "Friends".. hmm to much Tv.

But children cope if you are stable and happy they will be the same, you are the one who will keep them steady. Dont worry it wont help.

Just relax and enjoy them

Oh No he is in Australia too..
Why dont i look at profiles before I open my mouth

its ok one of my ex's is a police man and he is OK

Bwah hahahahaha!!!!...ASIO!!!!


***Hides all the illegal stuff...the 12 illegal immigrants....the more than 2 allowed cats....stuffs the dairy goat under the bed...***


I dunno what you mean occifer!

I had a shared parenting plan for years and it had its bumps in the road but I ended up with custedy being they attended school from my house and all their activities were here and her mother lived about twenty miles away.

It got to the point were it made no sence for them to go home after school and sports.

As the kids get older some of the petty issues will go away when they have more choices.

Its a shame ex's do not understand how hard it is to be the single parent without any added BS.

We are the ones who they depend on day in and day out and these every other weekend parents do not understand that.

It just seems as though he is concerned more for himself then the children I know they are very young yet when you remember father's day but not the birthdays it seems a little not concerned with the children...

kids are remarkably smart and flexible. they will learn to roll with
it and will benefit most if you just give them as much love and
attention as you can - regardless of what a jerk of an abusive ex
is doing or not doing. give them your love and understanding and be
there for them.

they will appreciate and respond to the love and caring...

Given his history I would just focus on being the best and most responsible parent I could. Document as near 100% school attendance as possible and have a respectful co-operative relationship with their teachers. Have a safe, stable, modest, and child centered living environment. Addresses and swanky schools do not impress judges nearly as much as good report cards and a parent that is seeing to it a kid is rested, ready, and encouraged to do well. Make all their required medical care markers and have a reasonable maintenance of your own (no smoking judges do not like that). Have a good driving record, use child saftey seats, and no history of drinking or cell use when you are in the car. If the car needs repairs or tags park it and use a bus. Have reasonable social ties with a church or community recreation program that sees you have a healthy relationship and the kid gets normal peer relationships. Use licensed dependable day care. Moms and friends do not make good court witnesses. But documentation does so keep your bussiness business like. Then all his blatther will get redundent with the courts and they will take away his rights. You can bet he is screwing up somewhere. Lot of public information on line. Documentation does not hurt one bit. And it makes it easy for lawyers to do their job cheaply. Just keep what you know strictly legal and avoid playing into conversations that could be taken out of context.

NEVER FORGET what you put on line can easily be put into a court record. Dirty rotten scoundrels like this guy may have been your past choice but make sure your future choices are nothing he can make you regret. Judges do not take kindly to social networking being your support network so you may want to be careful how much time you long on line versus in real relationships. I can pretty much guarantee you if you ex is as obsessed with your "situation" as you say he is then he has done his homework and probably spent the few bucks it takes to know more about who and how much you are on line than you can remember.

Kids are not stupid and they will remember his balogne and call him on it in their own time when they are grown or near grown if ever. And probably get tired of the supervised visitation soon and make that obvious to the agent that reports to the judge. The more broken promises he makes and the less he sees them the deeper he digs his own grave so it won't take that much longer.

Many times when you refuse to have direct contact they up the anti for a while then find out it is zero use and give up and go search for a new "victim" so don't be his victim. Yes you have to answer direct child centered questions and be civil but you do not have to volunteer information and you do not have to make your kids suffer by analaziseing how he has performed in a supervised situation. If he has set supervised visitation make it, refuse alternatives, and sooner or later he will get tired of not getting your goat and give up.

In many states once he abandones visitation for a year you can have his rights terminated. So don't provide contact for the kids ( school documents (he can get those for himself), cards, gifts, phone access) that he can use to show they are "interested". Kids will rarely buy a parents affection. Especially if you don't teach them too.

And plenty of kids do just fine with out an absent parent substitute. So live your life naturally and respecpectfully to yourself and your first in time choices and the rest will work out. If someone that will be part of your family comes along great; it happens but if not don't look for a new "Baby Daddy" because that generally ends in disaster when that is the basisi for the relationship.

the right thing and inside u somewhere u know what that is