where the heck were ya'll a decade ago? I had to learn the hard way...more than once

I had a date once that was clearly nuts. She stared at everything. She did not just look; she stared. She talked very loudly, with a machine-like monotonic voice. She stared most of the time, though, talking was not her strong point. She was overweight, her hair was disheveled, she walked funny and she made comments about the waitress being tardy and lazy and skanky.

I left way before the date was over. I simply was unable to continue.

No, I did not stick her for the bill. I left before the waitress came to take our orders.

Funny thing was, she looked dynamite on her profile picture, and her texts were funny and smart.

I always used to like to rush into sex, as if there were no tomorrow.

Between making the date and the date itself, I was completely non-functional.

I called it a good relationship if we made love on the first date, even if the relationship never progressed anywhere farther from there.

If the woman would not put out at least by the third date, I would call it quits. But this never happened. All women I got to go on dates with me put out by the third date. I never had to ditch any women for this reason.

In fact, I never had to do the very necessary but thankless job of ditching a woman. My lady friends were always too courteous enough to do the dirty work, and not leave it to me, and they all did the ditching of me. This was a nice touch, I remember the ditchings fondly. There was one woman, Joy, whom I was forced to ditch, because opposed to all other lovers in my life, she actually LIKED me. As unbelievable as it sounds.

Up to about ten years ago I was proud of the large number of lady lovers I've had in my life. Then by about five years ago I have convinced myself that the "lady" friends I'd had were all losers; marginalized persons; moral zeroes; sheep that got lost and therefore learned to climb trees (out of necessity); the lady lovers in my life were the uncelebrated, the grossly uncelibate, the saggatiously loose, the automatic repeaters, with the safety "off".

In other words, they were my exact replicas.

You might be crazy, when you start debating over whether or not bird is the word.

everybody knows that bird is the word...

No, its:

Pa Pa Pa oou mow mow!

That which is like unto itself is drawn. Law of attraction. LOL

What are you attracting now? Have you changed? Are you any good in the sack?

I always talk on the phone before meeting anyone in person. If they are talking about weird things then I do not meet them.