A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.



'Well, I can think of only one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'

LOL...Speaking of St. Peters:

Peyton Manning dies and goes to heaven meeting St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter welcomes him and takes him on a tour of heaven.

As they are walking St. Peter begins, "During your stay in heaven you can stay in any house you want. Please take your pick once you see the one you want."

As they are walking Manning sees a house, a huge one, colored in Silver and Blue, with a large sprawling yard, a house fit for a true Colts fan king. He immediately says thats the one he wants.

They both head to the house to get Manning settled in, and over the next hill Manning notices another house, even larger than the one he just chose. It is decked out in Red White and Blue and his new home will only pale by comparison.

He asks St. Peter. "I like my house, it is more than I will ever need, but why is Tom Brady's so much better?"

St. Peter replies, "That's not Tom Brady's house, that house belongs to God."