my daughter her bf and 3 gk's wanted to move out to where i live.( 2000 miles) I told them that would be great. I told her since they both were quiting thier jobs i would take care of thier housing for a year. they both are working now in less than a month and thats great. he though who is the father of 2 of her kids now in 10 days at the job called in for a 2nd time. the place is a disaster. been trying to keep things going.. looks like they piled things in front of the furnace return and now the furnace is not working. i have been trying to fix it and the kids are running wild while he plays video games. no offer to help with anything.

How long would you give him before you sent him packing? I am about fed up with him. my daughter is starting to get that away also. she says she is not leaving no matter if he does or not.. what would you all do.. Please I need help.. going CRAZY

Did you sat your Daughter and her Boyfriend down and talk about what you really Feeling ,How you deal 3 with the situation ?
in terms of improving or what they plan to do regards to the situation

she knows perfectly well because we have talked and she is not happy but who is to know what she says to him. no i am getting close to saying something to him.. i will not tell him 2x. . I have already spent 1900 dollars on them this month trying to make them/him confortable.

his 1st check last week. went and spent all of it on himself and video's games. then called to get 40 from my daughter on monday for gas. I grew up you never would do such a thing when someone is trying to help you or not. when she gets home. i may be saying something to him. thats why i am trying to see what other paren6ts with grown kids would do.. thanks

You have gone above and beyond by helping them with the housing, it sounds like he is just taking advantage of you now. This might be when tough love steps in. Sit them down and explain to them that you were helping them so they could get on their feet in a new place...not for a free ride. If they do not fix things then you will stop helping, and I would set a deadline like 30 days (that should be PLENTY of time).

You did not say how old they were or who's house they are living in, that would make a difference also. Good Luck, maybe someone will have an idea here that you like.

the place they are living is real close to me and i am buying it. i am renting a place for myself. she is 25 and he is 32. 3 kids 7,4 and 2.

I love my daughter but she knew when they left he had to work and pay bills. i did not know till they got out here which sucks he has only worked 1 year in 4 while she supported him.

If you haven't talked to him yet, definitely do that. Telling other people that you're upset with him isn't going to help the situation.

i know. thats why i am asking on a forum.. noone knows anything.

Not the right time when you are upset to say anything either. thats why i am chilling right now

Is there a reason that you are renting while you are buying their house? That seems backwards to me.

The problem here to me seems to be that your daughter is allowing this guy to act like this. After 4 years she needs to put her foot down, hard and fast. With the way you were talking I had figured they were both maybe early 20's...but if you are in your 30's and still a sponge then I do not see him changing too much but hopefully for your sake and your daughters and grandkids sake he will change.

Another thing to think about is if your name is on the house then you get to decide who lives there and who does not, maybe just kick him out...if not permanently then at least for a while. Or you could use it as a threat but I do not like just making threats, it is better to go through with what you say. Good Luck

well what i am buying i plan on living in after a year.. that was the plan.. where i am at its not easy to rent.. people are very particular and i want them to get on a good footing. now adays renting is almost harder than buying.. about the same requirements. i knew him when he wasd a kid.. very mellow never wanted trouble and i like that. very strong also as he was a 2x state wrestling champ in HS.. i do know noone will mess with my family when he is around and that they atre safe and that does mean alot to me.. its a delima

Thier alot more to this story. he has 3 distant cousins who one is in Europe playing Basketball. one was a pro running back with Baltimore and Green Bay and a 3rd who is a coach for the Boston Celtics. yet they have little to do with his family now. he also has another cousin who is a agent for some player in portland Ore who will not return his calls. He was so excited when he came out. He wants to try out for a west coast monor league football team. he was recruited by Florida State for football and the discus in 98 i believe but did not have the grades so he went to work. he is working in a factory only making 10 an hour and this bothers him i know. i want to give him a chance. his family back home is poor and yet has so much talent in sports. yet when someone made it after a few years they hardly ever hear from them now and he has talked about how frustrating this is for him. but i am lost.. i am not made out of money

Thanks for the input i have got..it has helped and me just writing about it has helped and then prayer about what to do.. hes coming over to talk to me in a bit and i have decided i am going to talk to him like his football coach probally did and tell him he needs to get off his winey as but and wake up or hios dream will never come true. i think thats what is wrong with him and i pray its the right decision. thanks all..Miles

well its over and we all feel so much better and I believe our family is way better just getting things off our chest with each other and now we can grow.. all i can say is HalleluYah

By the way you are talking about him you took the right approach by talking to him like his coach would. Maybe that is what he needs, to get back in a team setting again. It sounds like the rest of his family is also into sports so maybe he is feeling left behind by their success...I do not know but it was just another idea that might give you a way to help. Good Luck

oh i know he does. he could not score high enough on the A.C.T. is what kept him from playing college ball.. we are all in pretty good spirits now