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| Topic: Lack of desire for sex in a marriage... | |
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Depends on how open you can be about your sexual needs to your partner. Lots of people are too closed off when it comes to expressing their true sexual needs and desires. Communicating sexual needs and desires is, usually, not a problem in a marriage. This is where wives usually say "I just don't need sex as much as you". |
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... is caused by anger. Repressed anger towards your spouse can kill your sex life. so get it worked out if you want your sex life to be restored. Well this definitely makes sense, and there's many reasons for the anger to be there. My ex hated me, and the feeling was definitely mutual. |
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Communicating sexual needs and desires is, usually, not a problem in a marriage. This is where wives usually say "I just don't need sex as much as you". I dont think that's true. People might think they communicate, but chances are that they are too afraid to fully open up. Sex is fun, engaging, and pleasurable at its best. Why would anyone not participate in any activity that only has positives? In fact, i find that once you open up a woman, they tend to be more demanding of sex, not less. |
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Communicating sexual needs and desires is, usually, not a problem in a marriage. This is where wives usually say "I just don't need sex as much as you". I dont think that's true. People might think they communicate, but chances are that they are too afraid to fully open up. Sex is fun, engaging, and pleasurable at its best. Why would anyone not participate in any activity that only has positives? In fact, i find that once you open up a woman, they tend to be more demanding of sex, not less. Seriously? Are you married? An average woman with children is often expected to cook three meals a day, do laundry, watch the kids, clean the house etc. Some men still think that she has time to have sex three times a day. Seriously. That's absurd. If you are really healthy.... there will be more sex. |
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Edited by
darkrythm
on
Thu 03/17/11 10:18 AM
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Seriously? Are you married? An average woman with children is often expected to cook three meals a day, do laundry, watch the kids, clean the house etc. Some men still think that she has time to have sex three times a day. Seriously. That's absurd. If you are really healthy.... there will be more sex. Looks like what you are talking about is a lack of balance in your relationship...an "average woman"? Can you care to support that? Fact is when both people in a relationship help out without keeping count, then you have a lot more time to be intimate and loving, that and turning of the TV. As for sex, yes, i have had women who i have been consistently intimate with multiple times a day, who had kids and a job; then again, the were more than happy to communicate when things were overwhelming and when they needed help (and vice versa). |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Thu 03/17/11 10:24 AM
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Seriously? Are you married? An average woman with children is often expected to cook three meals a day, do laundry, watch the kids, clean the house etc. Some men still think that she has time to have sex three times a day. Seriously. That's absurd. If you are really healthy.... there will be more sex. Looks like what you are talking about is a lack of balance in your relationship...an "average woman"? Can you care to support that? Fact is when both people in a relationship help out without keeping count, then you have a lot more time to be intimate and loving, that and turning of the TV. The ideal marriage is what you are talking about. 95% of all marriages are NOT in perfect "balance." 95% of all marriage are not "happy." They "might" be a successful working partnership, depending on how you define "successful." Keep thinking positive. I'm not saying its impossible. But don't expect it to be automatic. You will be disappointed if you do. You have to work hard at it. Again I ask, have you ever been married? Are you married? By the way, you have a beautiful smile! Your picture lights up the room. 
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Thu 03/17/11 10:28 AM
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I don't see myself as 'negative' about relationships or marriage, I'm just being realistic. I know, 'realistic' sometimes seems negative.
The perfect relationship is one with love, real love. It is not roll playing of husband and wife, or expectations. It is being sensitive to your partner, and communicating and loving. Anger or disrespect or feeling disrespected will destroy your sexual feelings for you partner. That is why they say "Never go to bed angry." (Because you won't get any...) |
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I don't see myself as 'negative' about relationships or marriage, I'm just being realistic. I know, 'realistic' sometimes seems negative. The perfect relationship is one with love, real love. It is not roll playing of husband and wife, or expectations. It is being sensitive to your partner, and communicating and loving. Anger or disrespect or feeling disrespected will destroy your sexual feelings for you partner. That is why they say "Never go to bed angry." (Because you won't get any...) Right. Never been married, but have been in a 4 year and a 5 year relationship. As for realistic, it is all about what you make of it; i am not talking about an ideal, i am talking about communicating and loving, as you noted above; and if people do what you said, there would be a lot more of hot sex too. FYI, thank you for the compliement; i do love to smile. |
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Communicating sexual needs and desires is, usually, not a problem in a marriage. This is where wives usually say "I just don't need sex as much as you". I dont think that's true. People might think they communicate, but chances are that they are too afraid to fully open up. Sex is fun, engaging, and pleasurable at its best. Why would anyone not participate in any activity that only has positives? In fact, i find that once you open up a woman, they tend to be more demanding of sex, not less. I don't know how many times I and friends that I've know tried talking to the wives about dwindling sex and the usual response was I just don't need it that much. Communication never resolved the issue. |
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Communicating sexual needs and desires is, usually, not a problem in a marriage. This is where wives usually say "I just don't need sex as much as you". I dont think that's true. People might think they communicate, but chances are that they are too afraid to fully open up. Sex is fun, engaging, and pleasurable at its best. Why would anyone not participate in any activity that only has positives? In fact, i find that once you open up a woman, they tend to be more demanding of sex, not less. I don't know how many times I and friends that I've know tried talking to the wives about dwindling sex and the usual response was I just don't need it that much. Communication never resolved the issue. This is true. Sometimes, for women, they simply lose interest in sex. Men in good health or who take viagra want to keep doing it. Its a mystery. Its also why older men resort to having affairs. |
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I was told before I got married that if you take a nickel and put it in a jar every time you have sex until your first anniversary, then after the first year remove a nickel every time you have sex you will never empty the jar!
 She got the jar in the divorce so I guess I'll never know!
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but if you had sex 3 times a day, then you shouldn't be mad I'm happy already
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Thu 03/17/11 03:52 PM
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Look at it this way. The romance and the excitement is ... gone.
Sex for a couple that has been together for a very long time becomes mechanical and meaningless. A lot of time there is no passion or even love involved. For a man, it just becomes a way to relieve his stress. For a woman it feels as if she is simply being used if there is no passion or excitement. I once told my husband who wanted to engage all night long to let me purchase for him a blow up doll- that way, I could get some sleep. I just was not enjoying it anymore. I had other things to do.
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Look at it this way. The romance and the excitement is ... gone. Sex for a couple that has been together for a very long time becomes mechanical and meaningless. A lot of time there is no passion or even love involved. For a man, it just becomes a way to relieve his stress. For a woman it feels as if she is simply being used if there is no passion or excitement. I once told my husband who wanted to engage all night long to let me purchase for him a blow up doll- that way, I could get some sleep. I just was not enjoying it anymore. I had other things to do.
You're one of the few women who will state this. I was on another site and the ladies claimed husbands can't keep up with wives. Obviously, I have never believed that. |
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..fortunately i suffer quite the opposite..lack of desire for marriage in sex... 
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Thu 03/17/11 09:15 PM
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Look at it this way. The romance and the excitement is ... gone. Sex for a couple that has been together for a very long time becomes mechanical and meaningless. A lot of time there is no passion or even love involved. For a man, it just becomes a way to relieve his stress. For a woman it feels as if she is simply being used if there is no passion or excitement. I once told my husband who wanted to engage all night long to let me purchase for him a blow up doll- that way, I could get some sleep. I just was not enjoying it anymore. I had other things to do.
You're one of the few women who will state this. I was on another site and the ladies claimed husbands can't keep up with wives. Obviously, I have never believed that. Well those are probably the type of women who would be trolling on those dating sites. --They can't get enough sex....LOL The other type who don't enjoy it anymore, well... they have other things to do. LOL Me excluded of course. I'm not trolling for sex on these sites. I'm just wanting to engage in verbal intercourse. LOL |
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