ok so im wondering..
i knew this guy for 5 yrs before i dated him<other than taking him to events as a friend> in this 5 yrs 2 yrs we were best of friends.. wrapped xmas presents together, did bbq.. just hung out.. though both attracted to each other we were neighbors< i dont date neighbors> now we did snuggle though.. that is it! a few times.. ok.. so we both moved sold our homes.. la te dah.. lost contact for we both were in relationships when we moved.. then i seen him on a dating site i contacted him as a friend.. well got together.. we swore to each other that if it did not work that the friendship we had was more important.. we were an item for a yr did not work out. nothing bad happened<NO vindictive behaviors from either of us> so im sure normal we did not speak for humm 6 months after.. so he has a gf now and we started talking to each other on our own lol.. on facebook.. met and omg i sooo dig her too! is it weird that i cant drive in dark and went out to meet them and family she asked me to come to her house and offered me a room? i went there too on nye and stayed.. i love this gal! roflmao. of course i love my ex too as a friend!he now calls me more that his gf knows me.. and she calls too.. there is nothing hidden.
my question is this weird? and should it matter to me if it is different?
for me this has never happened if i was with someone and the ex was in the life. like this.. seroiusly if there was no reason for me to get any bad vibes i would have no problems with it.. one thing to note.. she is not like this with all his friends that are female or his ex's just the uncomfortable feeling she has with the very same ones i was!

gals.. would you accept a relationship with someones ex? and under what circumstances?

guys.. how would you react to this? would you be relieved that someone you cared for as a friend that you used to have a thing with that no bad had happened in the relationship that you felt comfortable being able to even go visit alone with , with both parties of your relationship that you are in now be bothered?

i do feel blessed myself that i have this relationship with both of them!! though i do know it seems to be different.

actually i was in the same situation was with some one for 10 years found his first gf again after 35 years decided that they wanted to go an be together well they both moved down to VA had me down at there new house more then once i even had to house sit for them one time. I became good friends with her although now me an her don't talk as much anymore cause they just recently went sperate ways but i always did like her she was like another mother to me we always got along an i still keep an contact with my ex maybe once a month but ya i could be friend with an ex gf if that was the case.

thanks im glad to hear im not the only one! and i would do anything for either of them in that manner as well.. my dog is dying.. and she emailed me lol.. told me " this momma needs a lil break sometimes" they have 4 dogs lol. and she told me i could take one of their dogs for a while when mine is gone! for me.. if anytime they ever became homeless i would let them come here! there is such a trust with both of them for me.. i care about both of them..

yw an yep im the same way even though me an her don't talk any more cause of there situation she still will be a good friend of mine cause the way they took me in an helped me over the years they were together .

well with time maybe it will get better..

yep that is all we have these days is time

hope i never see them break up! i want to go to their wedding! lol! if that happens though.. i will not talk about stuff to each of them.. u now? i just can only speak to each of them about their own feelings.. i cant be friends with people that i would have to lie to..

nope i agree like i said me an his gf who was his first gf back in high school oh key note (he was 17yrs older then i was lol) when they got together after all the years of course i was first upset but then i got to know her better an talk to her more an liked her an they had me down at there new house an stuff but they recently broke it off she went her way an left him down there an the way they did that well i would still talk to her now an then but last few years she hasn't been too nice lol. but when they was together i didnt have any problems cause i like them both

yea i would draw the line too.. if there was any vindictive going on.. however i dont feel there would be knowing him.. and now her.. and wow still my situation was even different than yours he did not leave me for her and i did not leave him for anyone.. we just went our own ways.. alone lol! and i talked to him again before he was with her... and hung out again as friends.. he did get kinda silent though when he first got with her...she had written something and i replied lol and her and i went from there and then after she accepted me.. and i went to lunch with her lol.. alone just the two of us.. he began talking to me more again.. again i feel blessed to have two wonderful people in my life as such close friends!!

No i dont think it is strange at all, I contacted Anacondas ex to talk to her as i will be seing her and now we are friends, i think it is great, you dont want to lose people if you dont need to , friends are precious and the more you can make the better.

no, I would not be interested in anything like that. The ex would have to be completely disconnected except essential contact such as if kids were involved.

If my baby daddy got a new woman - the contact would be primarily to let her know that I am checking up on my son who lives w/ his dad.

other than that I have no interest in their lives or desire to spend time with them. that situation is different than yours because he & I did not split up amicably, unfortunately

were it a male friend with whom I was on good terms - I'd wish him the best

if my guy wanted to bring an Ex into the picture - sorry - just being honest here - most likely it would not be something that I 'd be open to - the decision / consequences would be his to determine

Buttons , I don't trust it when exes want to stay friends.
In my experience someone is still harboring feelings.
Someone is still looking for a cushion if things don't work out...
But that is just my thought.

i see both your points.. and is why i did call it unique.. i think perhaps it depends on the mix of people.. again there are some of his ex i cant stand lol!!
we have no children together.. though we have 3 each... and all those yrs we were friends first our kids were involved in the bbq or things. heck my kids would be gone for the weekend to dads.. and his kids were down at my house lol!!a lot of times.. when i travel to central oregon i actually go stay at his uncles house too.. we are good friends as well.. i go to family funerals.. im pretty close to his family too..
i do not flirt with him.. though do hug him goodbye.. as i do her as well!he does not flirt with me either
i think this unless someone is hiding something from their partner, or if flirting is going on, or there are lies from either party one should not assume that there is other interests or intentions..

There are women that feel both ways. It sounds like this is a good situation you get to keep your friend and you made a new one.

I had a friend he was someone I could talk to about anything we flirted alot and kidded each other but never anything sexual on either of our parts. he used to give me sex advice about my boyfriends. Inside info on what men like and I did the same with him and whoever he was seeing.
Well when he moved in with one of the GF's she was real jealous...I don't blame her....he used to say thing like well Lily this and Lily that...steam would come out of her ears...I talked to him about it...but we had been friends for a long time it was habit...anyway long story short she started snubbing me and saying things to me that were really snippy and mean in front of anybody...I told my friend he should talk to her cause I was about to take her head off...he told me in so many words to back off....

Well that was 4 years ago...they broke up shortly after the confrontation ...but my friendship was gone

So if you can all just get along... that's great

I agree - it depends on the people - I have seen this work with friends of mine

and then again, it can be just to much drama to contend with...

Hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...