The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
She said,
"I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children,"
she went on,
"and every move caused him terrible pain.
We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now,"
she announced in a quivering voice,
"thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said,
"I'm Tom Smith."
The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum !!!

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose,
still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know,Sir.
I'm only here to wash your upper body.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly
pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his
penis in one hand and his testicles in the other,
lifting and moving them around and around gently.
Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure
you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!'
The man pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her and says very slowly,
'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen
very, very closely.....
' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -
b a c k ?'

nice one

ha!