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| Topic: Huge Dilemma | |
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My son on October 27th accused my parents of abuse....stating the my step father threw him into walls and punched him.....so I took my son and left the area after they started physically threatening me after these accusations were made.....I moved in with my grandmother in order to leave the area......anyways he had been riding with my parents because of issues like affording medications etc. and is a disabled child......
Anyways my mother sends my grandmother a christmas card telling her I convinced my own son he was abused, that she had never neglected or abused me, etc.....in a christmas card.....she couldn't wait until the holidays were over and send her a letter?? That's ridiculous okay cover your *** I don't care......make whatever accusations you want........hate people as much as you want......but do it in a card pretending to care about another......I am just dumbfounded......but really I shouldn't be........I knew I shoudlnt let them convince me to accept anything from that woman.......I knew there would be something manipulative or an ulterior motive |
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Edited by
IndigoIllusions
on
Sun 12/26/10 12:44 PM
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I am so sorry.
 A lot of that is so wrong on so many levels. I was abused as a child and got out early, the only reason I got back into the "family" was right after my oldest was born-my brother had just passed-and at that time I also found out that my grandmother had also passed. I hadn't spoken to any of them in a couple years. I had to make a clean break to "save myself", so to speak. I had not only vowed to never treat my babies the ways that I was treated, but I would never let anyone else either...even if they were family. When my son was little his sisters started telling me that she was being mean to him, but I never saw anything, so I kept note of things, and tried to not let her be alone with him unless necessary. It came to a point though where I told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever treated him badly again, let alone laid a hand on him (she did twice), that she would never see the kids again...she stopped. In the years since she has pretty much done a 180 and treated them all very well. If it has been some type of pattern for some time, which it seems it might be if they are now threatening you also...how very sad. We're supposed to love and protect our babies and loved ones, not be the ones they need protecting from. If it was an isolated incident, still wrong, but you should have been able to sit down with them and figure out what happened and how to not have it happen again, not have to run away (in a sense) and still have the torment follow you. Also, yes, the "info" in the card...tacky and juvenile. Especially at the holiday times, it's sad to have your loved ones split up and at odds...I know...right now I'm having some issues here like my son moving out a couple days ago and now won't speak to us because he doesn't feel that he should have to act like a decent part of the family and do things like picking up after himself, help out a little, and treat us with respect. So after a big blow-up, he is gone, has several other people, including family not speaking to us because of the lies he and his gf are telling others. On top of that my bf left in a hissy fit last night because he was pissed because I was talking to my BROTHER on the phone on...Christmas... seriously?! Merry Freakin' Christmas, eh? I hope things get better for you and your son and be resolved in a healthy manner, and your family can patch reconnect. Sorry this was long, and although some was relevant, it was a little off topic. 
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I am so sorry. A lot of that is so wrong on so many levels. I was abused as a child and got out early, the only reason I got back into the "family" was right after my oldest was born-my brother had just passed-and at that time I also found out that my grandmother had also passed. I hadn't spoken to any of them in a couple years. I had to make a clean break to "save myself", so to speak. I had not only vowed to never treat my babies the ways that I was treated, but I would never let anyone else either...even if they were family. When my son was little his sisters started telling me that she was being mean to him, but I never saw anything, so I kept note of things, and tried to not let her be alone with him unless necessary. It came to a point though where I told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever treated him badly again, let alone laid a hand on him (she did twice), that she would never see the kids again...she stopped. In the years since she has pretty much done a 180 and treated them all very well. If it has been some type of pattern for some time, which it seems it might be if they are now threatening you also...how very sad. We're supposed to love and protect our babies and loved ones, not be the ones they need protecting from. If it was an isolated incident, still wrong, but you should have been able to sit down with them and figure out what happened and how to not have it happen again, not have to run away (in a sense) and still have the torment follow you. Also, yes, the "info" in the card...tacky and juvenile. Especially at the holiday times, it's sad to have your loved ones split up and at odds...I know...right now I'm having some issues here like my son moving out a couple days ago and now won't speak to us because he doesn't feel that he should have to act like a decent part of the family and do things like picking up after himself, help out a little, and treat us with respect. So after a big blow-up, he is gone, has several other people, including family not speaking to us because of the lies he and his gf are telling others. On top of that my bf left in a hissy fit last night because he was pissed because I was talking to my BROTHER on the phone on...Christmas... seriously?! Merry Freakin' Christmas, eh? I hope things get better for you and your son and be resolved in a healthy manner, and your family can patch reconnect. Sorry this was long, and although some was relevant, it was a little off topic. Hope everything works out....and yes I tried explaining things tried getting them to go to family counseling tried to talk to them but I cannot say anything without an explosion it just isn't and wasn't worth it.......really all I want them to do is leave us alone.....can't even do anything legally because I have to have them served and it doesn't work inter state |
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The only thing I can add is to make a few phone calls and talk to a couselor over the phone. After my wife died, I talked to someone over the phone for almost a year. It gave me perspective, helped me understand the point of view of her parents, and validated a lot of my feelings. Maybe it can be of service to you as well.
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This sounds like something that my Italian family went through years ago. Time was the only thing that helped, but I think that was due to the Italian thing, not for any other good reason.
I hope you find peace in the New Year and know that there are prayers/well wishers out there for you (a lot of them don't leave posts). Sorry I can't help more. Just try to keep HOPE alive. That's all I've got for you. Take care and be well, Jennifer |
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You know what is right, DO IT.
You are responsible for YOUR children, never regret DOING RIGHT. |
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I am so sorry. A lot of that is so wrong on so many levels. I was abused as a child and got out early, the only reason I got back into the "family" was right after my oldest was born-my brother had just passed-and at that time I also found out that my grandmother had also passed. I hadn't spoken to any of them in a couple years. I had to make a clean break to "save myself", so to speak. I had not only vowed to never treat my babies the ways that I was treated, but I would never let anyone else either...even if they were family. When my son was little his sisters started telling me that she was being mean to him, but I never saw anything, so I kept note of things, and tried to not let her be alone with him unless necessary. It came to a point though where I told her in no uncertain terms that if she ever treated him badly again, let alone laid a hand on him (she did twice), that she would never see the kids again...she stopped. In the years since she has pretty much done a 180 and treated them all very well. If it has been some type of pattern for some time, which it seems it might be if they are now threatening you also...how very sad. We're supposed to love and protect our babies and loved ones, not be the ones they need protecting from. If it was an isolated incident, still wrong, but you should have been able to sit down with them and figure out what happened and how to not have it happen again, not have to run away (in a sense) and still have the torment follow you. Also, yes, the "info" in the card...tacky and juvenile. Especially at the holiday times, it's sad to have your loved ones split up and at odds...I know...right now I'm having some issues here like my son moving out a couple days ago and now won't speak to us because he doesn't feel that he should have to act like a decent part of the family and do things like picking up after himself, help out a little, and treat us with respect. So after a big blow-up, he is gone, has several other people, including family not speaking to us because of the lies he and his gf are telling others. On top of that my bf left in a hissy fit last night because he was pissed because I was talking to my BROTHER on the phone on...Christmas... seriously?! Merry Freakin' Christmas, eh? I hope things get better for you and your son and be resolved in a healthy manner, and your family can patch reconnect. Sorry this was long, and although some was relevant, it was a little off topic. Indigos, I know this doesn't quite fit here but seeing as I can't really email you privately with the age restrictions it's the only place I can ask. I went through a lot of mental abuse growing up from my dad's side of my family. It was particularly bad in the last few years when my views on things changed in ways they didn't like, though I seemed to suffer it from my dad even before then. It got to where I simply cut myself off from them last spring and have not gone back since. They keep trying to bring me back, my dad has sent stuff for my birthday and christmas (my grandparent's too), inviting me to gatherings and all, but it's really hard for me to trust them. I wanna try and tell them what I feel and what I need from them, even if just by email, but I fear it will fall on deaf ears. Beyond that......really I'm more comfortable being here then being around them at this point. I feel bad to say that, but......I just can't trust them you know? Anyway I wanted to know your opinion here on what to do in a situation like this, given your own abused past as a child. |
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I win in court and they have to stay away hooray......
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((((Seakolony))))
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