exactly...he was not the man that I married
he didn't exist anymore...that was the hardest for me to get used to. He looked the same, but everything was totally different.

Hey, I am one of those people you are talking about and since I don't know anyone here, or could anyone of you's help me, I am feeling that way down low lifeless depressed, hole, were I am scratching to get out and there's nothing to grab, I was with someone for 16yrs and he just kicked me out for my depression and being on this site I came on this site for friends, and told him about it, but he went insane and done some horrible things to me, he couldn't handle the depression, or the fact that I had been molested most of my life right up to the age of 15, but now I am homeless, and feeling no light at the end of the tunnel, seems funny I even talking about this right now, cause, there's really no one that can help out a person like myself, they tell you to be strong and hang in there, but it's just words, cause to people like myself, we think "yeah right" easier said then done, I have really no where to go and no family to go to, sooooooooooooo, then what....words awwwwwwwwh , anyway's this is from someone who is considering, **** it who really cares , you come into this world alone and you leave this world alone,..........and that's the way it is............just thought I'd post what the f&(**& was on my mine.........

Noden...

I wish there was something that I could do to help you. I'm not sure how things are in Ontario, but I know here in NY there are programs that help people that are depressed. Is there an agency that you can contact to help you find some reasonable housing? Are you seeing a therapist/psychiatrist that can help you and point you in the right direction? There has to be someone in Ontario that could help you, I'm so far away...or it would be ME!!!!

First of all, thank you all for sharing your stories.....

They are all horrible experiences. I am glad you took the time to share them.

I want you all to know that if any..... and i do mean ANY of you need a friend... I am here.

Noden there has to be a shelter that you can go to in ontario. And all shelters have qualified counsellors there. These counsellors also offer support to go to Dr.'s and psychiatrist appointments etc.

Remember all of you are important, and you are worth having in this world.

Take Care,
Claudette

NODEN!!!!!!!! I'm one of "those" ppl too. Have been since I was 8 yrs old. YES you read that right. 8yrs old...email me! I'm tunring 40 this Sept....I hope I can at least be an understanding ear for you.....

NODEN!! There are alot of ppl here for you. Listen to them!! They can help put you in the right direction to get you out of your situation.

{{{{{{{{{Claudette}}}}}}}}}

As always...thanks honey for being there....

Mike...I understand very well about the word *suicide*. My youngest son hung himself July4, 2004.

And there is always that question ..Should I have noticed anything was wrong. No, sometimes there is no clue that anything is wrong...it just happens, and there is nothing anyone could have done to have prevented it.
Sandy

anytime Puffins

Mike,God left me back then with a 21 month old little boy,spittin' image of his father,so I see my husband in him every single day

Are we so busy inour lives that we don't notice whensomeone who is as close as apartner is not struggling?

Are we so self absorbed, that we don't see someone withdrawing, in pain, and not able to reach out?

It is huge to ask for assistance when suffering such intense pain, such deep black pain, that by the vey asking for a hand up, may be another disappointment, another rejextion, another 'slap in the face'.

Life sucks at times, and for some is so unbearable, so painful, to even try to existin it, that surely the silence of death, the 'void', has to better than this suffering they are experiencing.

Being left behind, is difficult, is so terrible, in it's guilt, and not understanding why, and having a sense of failure.

But, we can all learn from this, and be more aware, of our 'so-called' loved ones, and be present, be supportive, and be there for them, all about them, not about ourselves, and how we are affected.

And when we can go no further, find them the appropriate support, not turn our backs on them ever.

By being more aware of the people around us, and not so busy with our own worlds, we can be more aware of what is really going on.

I am truley happy for you Greyhound


I don't mean to start a thread and run, but I need to go to work. I really didn't expect so many ppl to respond both on this thread and via E-mail. I thank all of you for your stories and responses. JSH ppl really do have Big hearts, thanks again

Take care Mike

{{{{ }}}} sandylou

Thank you Mike for sharing

Remember I am only an email away
Take Care
Claudette

(((Noden)))we are here for you!!--

Noden,neighbour,I'm only an email away. Anytine friend

My oldest daughters Mother would always say "I will kill myself if you go to Iraq"...needless to say she just left me(thank-god...meaning leaving over suicide) Now that I am home she wanted to get back together but after her suicide threats and tantrums over me going away, I felt different towards her, so , it's hard to deal with that crap, I was always wondering if she ever did it while I was away at the same time trying to cover my and others a**...No room in my life for that, I wanna live and want my mate to feel the same way.

My daughter attempted suicide at 11, over not wanting to go to school, was her excuse at the time. She ended up being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder. She was hospitalized for 4 weeks in a children's hospital, faked an attempt almost exactly a year later (hospitalized again) and then a year later I had to put her in alcohol and drug rehab. They told me at the hospital that if someone makes up their mind to kill themself, that you can handcuff yourself to them 24 hours a day but they will still find a way.

My daughter is 32 now, had a really rocky time during her teen years. They thought part of it was to gain attention from her alcoholic dad who was absentee and made promises and didn't show up, but we will never know the truth. I really didn't think she would survive past 18, but she did and I am grateful. Depression is ugly and hard to deal with and I hope anyone who battles it goes for treatment, counseling does help and there are meds that can help too. I am so sorry for anyone who has lost anyone to suicide. Noden, please be safe.

Marie55