Sorry for judging. I'd rather be someone who lives by Paulo Coelho's belief: "We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."

Happy New Year Everyone! May 2011 be a generous one to us all!

I've been needing to get this off my chest sever since I realized you had somehow made you're way into my heart.

You have to understand, before you met me I was an emotional ****ed up nightmare. I had barely survived hell and was picking up the few peices left of my sanity to try to salvage even a small object remotely resembling a person.

But I had so much anger and bitterness in me from everything I was forced to go through. I hated the world and myself, so I took it out on everyone that dared to let me close to their hearts. I destroyed hearts and emotions just because I could. But then I met you. I warned you about me that night we met. I dunno how you did it but you managed to soften me in just one night, but you insisted that I was a good, sweet girl. Something in me listened to you, because you were right. At one point I was sweet and charming. Then I kissed you and the feeling that you gave me when you kissed back was electric. I'd never experienced that before.

For months while I got closer to you, for some reason I still had those other ****ing girls on the side. For no ****ing reason. I was so stupid! Cause now I see alls I needed was you. When you were in my life, laying next to me or texting me or just looking at me, I was the happiest I've ever been.

But I was just so ****ed up mentally. I didn't trust that you really loved me even though you obviously did, looking back. You were so patient, waititng for me to see that you're intentions were good and nothing like every other abusive destructive relationship I've ever been in.

But then I hurt you. You gave me everything you could, opened yourself up to me, and because I was scared of that vulnerable feeling you gave me, I hurt you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating you like everyone else has treated me. It was wrong, but please understand it was because I was scared. You made me so god damn nervous cause I've never let anyone in like I let you in. I wish there was a way I could win you back from your new boy, but at the same time I just want you to be happy. I just wish things could go back to the way they were. I wish I could take back every last thing I put you through.

I wish I never met you. Because you've melted my heart into something I could never decribe.

But enough of all the mushy stuff. :]

Time for some coffee. yummmm ;D

You make me want to hold and kiss you for a long time

That still doesn't tell me how much wood a woodchuck could chuck.

The Alchemist. Great book...........

If this was to me, well awwww! Thats sweet lol

But in all honesty i wouldnt deserve that. Not because of self pity or anything, just cause of sad decisions on my part.

bad decisions* lol xD

where are you.
):

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey ...

you'll never know dear, how much i love you
please dont take my sunshine away.............

for a non mingler glad i talked to you tonight hope ya say what ya really mean to say bout not drinking an not smoking anymore that will be a good start for you glad were still good friends as well you still mean something too me but i know i can't have that but i still got ya friendship especailly after the 10years i known you

That's sweet.
Hoping you have a happy New Year, Sneaks!

Mine was the first voice you heard in the new year.

you make me smile!

Hoping we find each other this new year, 2011

I'm not your scapegoat. Stop blaming me for the promises you don't keep, the mistakes you make, and the things you don't say. I already told you this once.

Hey, you. I enjoyed my the New Year very much. Thank you.

If you only knew how many times I counted
All the words that went wrong
If you only knew how I refuse to let you go
Even when you're gone
I don't regret any days I spent
Nights we shared or letters that I sent

I have noone to send a message to but if I did it would say how I wish you were here to comfort me in my time of need