uuummmm...there's a joke in there, but i'm going to be good

"Be true to thine self."
-Polonius, "Hamlet"

"Trying your hardest is a talent in itself." (not verbatim, I believe, sorry)
-Alphonse Elric, "Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood"

You'll shoot your eye out kid (My fathers favorite movie- A chrsitmas story)

Wally you'll love this one-
I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transexualvania"

How many of you guys heard this:
"If you keep doing that, you'll go blind."
Oen we use at work:
"Its yours, you can wash it as long and as hard as you want BUT your not going to do that looking at me."

"Nip it in the bud!"

I can't help it, whenever I'm eating onion rings I have to hold one up and say- "Look, sir, droids."




To this day since the 80's a friend and I when we talk on the phone usually end up doing this instead of saying goodbye-

"Click"

"Did you hang up?"

"No, I just said click."

Haha it's cheesy, but it's stuck ever since we watched the horror spoof "The Student Bodies"

I also like to cuss like Roman Moroni in Johnny Dangerously-

"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves."


"You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. My own club! "

My favorite was from my mum "If you fall off that wall and break your legs don't run crying to me"!

Also stuff has stuck from watching countless horror flicks-

Whenever I see a can of SPAM- "Don't knock it, it's got its own key."(Dawn of the Dead '78)


Sometimes when eating chili- "Must be one of those hard shelled pepper corns" (from the chili cook-off in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 '86)


"You play a good game, boy" (Phantasm)

"All kinds of critters go into Farmer Vincent's Fritters" (Motel Hell)

"Kinda like a "Jimmy Olsen" with breasts" (Critters 2)

"Some poor Appalachian is wandering around the mountain with only one shoe" (Redneck Zombies)

Say it don't spray it!

i say that to my kids all the time

may ur life be an ironed shirt

just 1 i thought u could not be any dumber u go and do something like this and totally redem yourself

Bull Durham!!
What do you believe in, then? I believe in the soul. The ****, the *****, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curveball, high-fiver, good Scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap, I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone, I believe there oughta be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Good night. Oh my.

REDRUM REDRUM

I'M BAACCK! (poltergeist-4 u youngens)

"I'll be back"........................arnold

Area 51

schwiiiiing...............



waynes world............party time............excellent

yo adrian.........................sylvester

you makea me so horny baby.........................austin powers

allllllllllrighty then.........................jim carey