Seriously, what the heck do ya do??? It just seems like no matter how much damage we do to each other we just can not break the bond that we share! I have a feeling that one day we may laugh about all this and really wish that life was not so complicated!

it isn't complicated. when you (or he) decides it's over. end it. no calls/ visits for awhile if that's what it takes - I've had to do that a couple of t imes once because of him - once me - took some doing but i'm better off for it

has someone really changed, or do time and distance allow us to forget some of the pain. it is even harder to see truth when chemistry is involved. hesitancy is what keeps us from jumping into mistakes. love sometimes never dies, but it continues because we're not together. possibilities do exist though, just go with caution.

I have found only one workable cure.
Replacement.

HI; I like to go down the Colorado River in a raft. I hit the rapids, the thrill is unbelievable. There is a certain point in the river where the rapids, drop 50 feet. I get out of the river, walk the shore. Find a new point to enter, and continue my fun. Just a hint.

Well the time & distance has caused a lot of our issues! He's locked up & have tried walking away, having a replacement, etc, etc!!! I even divorced him. I went to see him on Saturday to get "closure" and ended up realizing how much I miss him! I am not jumping back in, but part of me wants to remain in touch and see how things go!

and loads of chemistry bastet! neither one of us could ever hide how we felt for each other & we were really great together! I have changed tremendously and tried to just stay away and pretend I was better off, but I have still always loved him! I think that's what makes me scared to let him back into my life at all, but we were also best buds and we miss our friendship the most!

you are a wise firefly, be true to thyself, you'll know what to do when the time comes.

I firmly believe that if you ever really loved anyone, you always will. There isn't a lot you can do about it, and you shouldn't try, it's counter-productive. You just adapt your love to this new situation.


It's like I've told the woman I dated in college, "It's not that I don't love you, it's that I don't trust you anymore." Without trust, we just couldn't be together. I'll always care about her and wish her the best, but I'll do it from elsewhere.

That's a tough question. If you ever find the answer let me know.......

well said! I have loved others and feel this way about all of them, but this one is different!! I feel like my soul is ripped apart when he is not in my life & I hate that, but I can't change it! I have spent the last 4 yrs unsuccessfully trying to make this man hate me! None of it matters, when we started talking it all went away & we just enjoyed each other's company again. Honestly I am not sure if we can re-establish enough trust to try again one day, but I am learning to accept the fact that there is nothing I can do to stop loving him or to make him stop loving me. I don't think that us staying in contact is a bad thing though, if I never talk to him then I will really never know.

thanks bastet & jw!

I could not disagree with you more. If what he did (or she - doesnt matter) is bad enough - resentment - lack of trust - love cannot coexist with these things

Last night I dug your picture out from our old dresser drawer
I set it on the table and I talked to it till four
I read some old love letters right up till the break of dawn
Yeah, I've been sittin' alone diggin' up bones
Then I went through the jewelry and I found our wedding rings
I put mine on my finger and I gave yours a fling
Across this lonely bedroom of our recent broken home
Yeah, tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones
Exhuming things that's better left alone
I'm resurrecting mem'ries of a love that's dead and gone
Yeah, tonight I'm sittin' aloneDiggin' up bones
Then I went through the closet and I found some things in there
Like that pretty negligee that I bought you to wear
And I recalled how good you looked each time you had it on
Yeah, tonight I'm sittin' alone diggin' up bones

PFA works wonders

This topic is much too painful for me to think about let alone discuss.It is said that time heals all wounds.Within me lies hope then that them words are true.I wish you the best dear.Godspeed!Cy

Yeah, so true.
Personally, I needed alot of time alone, first.

Guess it depends

me

it was from being hurt

so I went through the whole sadness to maddness thing

picked myself up

and as sophie says

found a replacement!!!

I can’t quite sympathize with the topic. I have never, ever formed a bond with anyone who was abusive, dysfunctional or otherwise not a good match for me.

The minute too many flags or differences in compatibility arise, I break it off. There is no sense in wasting my time or theirs if we are not well-matched.

hahaha ese! He's gonna be in my life forever as we share friends and he was very close with my family (actually he & my dad were best friends) so I can either figure this out now while he is still locked up OR stay away which can only work til he gets paroled since he's going to my Mom's when that happens! The love was never dead or gone, just temporarily misplaced!

This feeling is very new to me....Have you ever met someone you didn't find attractive and they didn't match your intellect but you felt a very strong connection with?...you have things in common...and it feels like you always want to talk to that person....and you feel sad when you don't? Anyone felt like that before with someone and if so what kind of relationship do you have with that person now?

yup agree with both of u

healing time & a new man - nuthin' better