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| Topic: So ... Who's Got Some Useful Advice? | |
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You are welcome, Ms. Wolf. I hope you come to terms with the pain soon. :)
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There is no such thing as "normal."
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The problem with most is they worry too much what others say. Be yourself do what you want to not what others want you to or expect you to do......
This is your life no one can live it for you but yourself........enjoy it while your here..... 
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My best friend in high school didn't care what others thought about how she dressed or what she did and she was the happiest person I knew. She didn't wear the hottest styles of clothing but clothes that came from goodwill stores. She helped me to not care about everyone else's opinions. The only person that should matter is if your truely happy with who you are.
As long as you are happy with yourself everyone else including your family will see it and be happy around you too. Don't seek approval from anyone other than yourself. Hope this helps. 
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At my age (32+}
 I have learned the ONLY person thats gonna make me happy is me!! and if I am happy so is everyone around me!!
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The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche |
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There is no such thing as "normal." My point exactly. I've just heard it one too many times growing up .. that I should be normal. Truth be told, when I was a teen, I didn't care what people thought of me. I dressed so unlike everyone else, and I didn't care. So I'm wondering why I changed that outlook and suddenly cared what they had to think. Maybe I'm just not as anger and rebellious as I was then |
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You are welcome, Ms. Wolf. I hope you come to terms with the pain soon. :) It's not so much pain as wanting to not be the black sheep of my immediate family. I realize my whole family is nothing but sarcasm and criticism, but the immediate family is downright harsh a lot of the times. My uncles accepted their kids for how they dress (they all dress punkish/rockerish/semi gothic even the girls) I like to understand things is all. |
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I know the type of family that is sarcastic and critical. They dont know any better...like a dung beetle...thier only hobby is digging around in other peoples s**t.
Unless they have you by the short hairs (supporting you)...cut em off for a trial period....say, the next 3 months. Skip thanksgiving and Christmas. Any phone calls from them...."I got eggs on the stove, I'll call you back later" Give them no opportunity for the cheap shots, brow beating or sarcastic innuendo. Believe me, you will enjoy your holidays a whole lot more. After the first of the year when they KNOW that you are cutting them off. Make the call, Let em know that you wanted to see what it was like to have a holiday with people who accepted you for you and didnt run thier mouths trying to make you into "them". (even if this means just hanging solo.....it is alot better to be alone and comfortable with no pressure than to put up with crap that you are obviously sick of) They will either get the point and point thier sharp tongues at someone else or you just cut em off for a full year. Sooner or later, they will get the point.....but, not if you cave. Then they will never have a reason to change if they know that you will keep coming back for more crap. Just an opinion. I have given this advice to friends of mine and they got positive results. |
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I have recently come to a conclusion. It is impossible to please anyone (especially family), by trying to be "normal" when it is clear you aren't. At the same time, it is highly IMPOSSIBLE to gain any approval when you decide that for old times sake you'd like to be even more different and step outside of the box a little. And just .. breathe It took me this long to start finding myself again. In a sense, I did loose myself ... what I stood for, who I was, who I was suppose to be ... for a few years now. And now that I start feeling like .. me again .. I'm going to be criticized, and shot down. I believe I am surrounded with enough negativity as it is .. why add more? Why are families the root of all things negative? Why do I deserve to be stereotyped and shot down when I decide I want to be a little darker some days? (appearance wise) I don't judge them OR anyone else for that matter. I think I am done trying to be approved by my own family. I'm finally realizing negativity will always reign over any positiveness with them. I should not care. I should worry about me. Am I wrong? Trying to be normal? And who set's the standard of 'normal'? You shouldn't try to be anybody you're not! Once you start being somebody you're not you've given up who you are! It doesn't matter who or what it's for. Sure, sometimes it makes life a bit harder (take that from a self-made business owner who can be a bit 'wild' and with hair down to his butt since the 80's and who's idea of dressing up is swapping out the black t-shirt with a silk button down to add to the black Levi's and black steel toed boots)! If somebody can't approve of who you are, it's their loss for not having respect for a 'real' person and not some poser who's going through the motions to gain respect. |
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Edited by
luv2roknroll
on
Mon 09/27/10 04:14 PM
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3 CUTIES ABOVE ME!!!!!!!
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3 CUTIES ABOVE ME!!!!!!!  Roberta!
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"People are as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln
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