I've been on and off this forum for a couple of years now and I see the same patterns over and over. Shy people wanting someone else to take the lead and find them.

I've never had much trouble meeting someone new. But, I'm a social guy and enjoy going out and meeting people. I never worry if a woman is out of my league, I let her decide that for herself.

If you really put yourself out there and start talking to people meeting someone new isn't difficult at all! You see someone that looks interesting and you say "Hi, I saw you and had to meet you. I'm (state your name). What's your name?" Then you shake hands.

Bang! you've just met someone new. Isn't that easy?

Now ask an open ended question and you're vibing. If there are any sparks, you'll know it in a few minutes. If so, have a drink together. If not, say "it's been a pleasure meeting you, but I have to go" and leave.

Now, talk to someone else.

So, what's stopping you?

Hell I'll talk to anybody......

what's stopping me?those damn restraining orders

I'm living proof of that ^^^

Im scarred i just cower in the corner

oh..really??

There seems to be a lot of that going around.

Regarding women in the past few years, it's my gut feelings and my logical conclusion are the major culprits.

I see a lot of people on here say that they don't bother to contact anyone first. I don't really get that. Why be on a site like this if you're not willing to make an effort to meet new people?

I also don't really get being so shy in person that someone can't meet new people either. Some people keep to themselves, then complain that they can't meet anyone. I guess some think it will happen by magic?

Yeah, by magic.

IMHO it's better to become the wizard (or witch) and make the magic happen for yourself and the person you meet.

I'm one of them. And the reason is because I never got a reply when I did try to contact someone first. You reach a point where you realize it's a waste of time, so you stop doing it.

Why is it a waste of time? Do you just start assuming all women are the same? I don't get it.

LOL I had that trouble as well. So, I started sending all kinds of crazy things to women. Sometimes they'd get mad and sometimes they'd laugh. What I learned was that trying to make every woman like me was stopping any of them from seeing who I really am. I was hiding myself by trying to be what I thought they wanted.

What I'm saying is; if what your doing isn't working, try something different. Try being a jerk, try being manwhore, try being a crazy man. Think outside of the box, be creative, invent a game.

Make it fun for you and see if she wants to join in the fun with you.

When you stop hiding, many women will love you and it'll get much easier.

I am one of those people that does not bother to contact someone first. In the first year and a half of joining, I did the first howdy and thoughtfull email after reading the other person's profile. And what did that lead to? A couple of casual friends, one very good friend ( Very long distance ), a dozen liars, half a dozen poofs. Every guy I crushed on, flirted with and tried to meet up with in person was either not interested, ( OK, I get it ) had a different agenda, ( Nice way of saying looking for cyber sex chat.) or had other women on the side and did not have the fortitude to say so. Then there are all the secret admirers that I fancied. Before I could even say howdy, they were announcing that they were taken by so and so from the forums. ( Day late, dollar short. Story of my life )

So now I have learned my lesson. Shut up and sit in the corner and you wont be lied to or porn-i-ficated. ( yes, made up word.)

Yep, dating isn't for sissys.

If I drop a bowling ball on my foot a hundred times, the same thing is probably going to happen a hundred times. I don't need to keep doing it a hundred more times to prove a point.

I talk to any and every one. That being said, their is someone on this site that I do talk to that doesn't know how "into her" I am. I torture myself.

I found it's a lot easier just to become a presence in the forums. That made a huge difference; I started getting lots of e-mails, and it wasn't necessary to write anybody first.

Plus, I really don't have the time to invent a bunch of different personae just to try to amuse someone who is probably not going to respond regardless. That just doesn't strike me as an efficient use of resources.

Maybe you should find another way to hold your bowling ball?

Interesting. You went in exactly in the opposite direction I suggested. I said be yourself and you said create different personae.