QUESTION: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT
problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY POLOSI:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
>know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that inter-westing? In a few moments, we will be l wistening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming stowry of how it
experienced a sewious case of mowlting, and went on to accomplish its
wife wong dweam of cwossing the woad.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ ....Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

**** CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

too chicken to say anything but lmao

Big Glenn:
F--k the chicken.


What's up Forge?

That was great

paul tuettle

what we need to do is builed a chicken crossing the road themed chopper.

Paul Tuettle (part 2):
Where the f--k is Pauly?

i swear if mikey comes in late one more time i'm gonna kick his azz!

paul sr.


who the hell keeps hiding my tools! i bet it was that damn chicken
again.

vinny.

that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time!
thanks :)

Excellent forge! ROFLMAO!




Got any more like that?

Good one, Gardenforge.

But I know you inserted the name Nancy Pelosi where it originally said
George Bush Jr!




Oceans

MY Grandpa:
He didn't, the f***er died.

Me:
Why does my car smell like chicken?


My former boss:
I love it, forge.

Actually Ocean I did nothing of the kind, but that just goes to show you
that liberals are totally paranoid they see a plot everywhere even in a
joke.

Garden,

Someone made the edit Oceans spoke of:

http://homepage.mac.com/mseffie/handouts/chicken.html