Does one ever really stop talking about an ex/exes? You don't ever not talk about your childhood. Bits and pieces will still come up. So wouldn't that happen with an ex? One hopes you've worked past the pain and handled the lesson and one certainly hopes the bitterness stops showing. How do you let the other person know that when you bring the ex up its just a comment and not a dwelling upon that person? Or will one actually reach a point where no memories bring up an ex?

The ex never comes up in conversation

Really? It can actually get to that point?

imho: I just don't bring her up. If asked a specific question - yes. In casual conversation? Nope, I'm over it.

$.02

yep, if you talk about the ex, they are still on your mind and your not over it yet...

Good Luck to you...

$.02

I am getting the feeling that women are more likely to volunteer or comment on something about their ex rather than guys

Men hate when I bring up Roy

not because I whine and complain

because I tell them he's a great guy!

Ahh so its the appearance of not caring rather then whether they are still floating around in the memories. If one doesn't mention it then it doesn't exist type of thing.

I think you may be right lahirra.

Sounds like "the other person" might be a little bit insecure. C'mon now, if bringing up conversation about an ex is a problem, confront "the other person" as to why it really bothers him. That should not be a problem in a healthy relationship.

Most of my exes have been thematically merged into one giant, horrendous, domesticatory monstrosity that I invoke to scare myself or to make a point about the necessity for scaring myself. It's like "Release the Kraken!" times a billion.

The one "good" one still is referred to (and thought of) as an individual (a truly wonderful and amazing, albeit incompatible individual), but I don't talk about her much at all. It's easier to malign the monster than it is to wrestle with the residue of real feelings.

For me that's not it, She's just not on my mind so I don't talk about her... it's pretty simple, really.

$.02

I leave the past in the past, there is nothing to care or talk about.

If it's just a comment, I don't mind at all. But, if they are constantly talking about them, as if they have unresolved issues or anything, that's different.

If someone is so utterly insecure with themselves that they can't appreciate the love you've felt in the past, then they need to learn to love themselves and get over it. I believe in the philosophy of enjoying yourself enough to not be too worried about such trivial matters. There are many bigger things to lose sleep over.
I personally hate being repressed in any way, and I encourage my lovers to tell me about all their past girls and whatnot. I'm curious and not a jealous person at all. I'm always intrigued as to know what kind of people they were interested in, and why, why they stopped seeing each other, etc.

If you mention the immediate ex constantly, or bring them up incessantly, it is not okay, that is rather excessive and not terribly fair to your other.
I think you should have him approach things from a more confident view, as reassuring someone constantly is draining and annoying to you, and it takes a great deal of energy, too.

I dont stop talking about my past..however, I dont mention my ex when doing so...where it used to be "we" or "us", now its just "me"...

yes

I'll talk about them with friends if asked but not with someone I'm dating.
And I hate when they talk about their ex's.

I think it says a lot about a person who bad mouths their ex to someone new...talk about Red banners waving "warning, warning"..!!

absolutely. I consider it a matter of respect to the man I am with - besides if one talks about another man/woman with their current guy/gal it leaves the impression that you are either playing games by trying to make them jealous, or sincerely not ready to move on (with a good chance that u will leave to go back to them) - at least around her anyway....

When you get to that emotional level where you have no reason anymore to really talk about the pain you feel from that failed relationship and realize that laying blame is immature and non productive, you will stop talking about the ex/es pretty much.

You may bring them up in a conversation started by someone about one of their exes but it will usually be in a good light and it will be quick and not a dwelling situation.

We show our own growth and maturity when we get over the relationship without holding it against the other party.

My experience here of course.