People speak often of how bad the 'ex' treated them,
hurt them, lied, cheated....etc.
Do you think it was meant to be mean or are people
just living their lives, doing what works for them.
I'm not referring to extreme abuse cases here...just
ended and was time to move on.
I've never felt like "hurting" me was intentional,
vindictive, or spiteful...they were just doing what
they have to do just like I do.
Yeah, I'm a bleeding heart dreamer.....

I don't speak bad about all of my ex's, just a few. *smile*

I don't think anyone means to be mean. I am with you on this Lo...I believe in the best of everyone!

Only one was a real douchebag , the rest I'm fine with.

Your ex wife?

Gee how did ya guess

I was lucky I think.

You lucky young man. Mine was a sperm receptacle.

You deposited some sperm, pushed a button, and a free beer cap would fall out.

All I can say is that those people who watched Barney all the damn time, well....they are all screwed in the head. Damn Barney!

Especially if they were on Acid...

Barney and acid did mess me up....

I was half of any problem that was there.

Just a fact of life.

...


ME TOO!!!!!!

I speak about most of mine, but only in a generic sense -- to get into individual cases would be more tedious than it's worth -- suffice it to say that I don't think they were trying to be "mean" -- they were just entirely self-absorbed and had their respective (albeit more or less identical) agendas, and that was all that mattered to them.

They saw me as a means to an end, and the end was more important than the relationship itself, more important than me or anything that mattered to me, more important than anything in the world....

So mostly selfishness then?

No, I did not go thru that. But I do know some of my friends both male and female have. I think that a person that is going thru that, should put a stop to it from the very get go, even if it means breaking up right away. Whatcha think Lori?

What do I think...I think what the op says...

Is the pain and intensity of a heartache dependant on the other person's motives? I think not, still feels the same.

To all of us that have suffered with hurt and sadness --

Yeah, that was a huge factor. They wanted what they wanted, and to hell with anything else.

But I think there was a certain amount of inertia and unwillingness to consider any alternatives to the agendas at work as well....