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Topic: Need Advice... Anyone
mandyscha Joined Sun 06/20/10 Posts: 14	Mon 06/21/10 06:38 PM
Okay i have been in a relationship for going on 3 yrs and have a son with this guy as well. I have been honest and open for the most part with him. He came out of a 7yr marriage and has 3 boys (under 10yrs) his previous relationship style was a "swinger" (which i dont want)He has cheated on me and we did the couples therapy and are now moving forward. He is not as open and honest as me. My question is... Is being in a swinger relationship easy for a person to break or do you think people tend to fall back on what they know. Wondering if i am wasting my time or if there is a chance in this relationship.

sherry4382 Joined Sun 08/26/07 Posts: 4000	Mon 06/21/10 06:48 PM
Well....Did he leave his wife for you? If so you have to wonder if he would do the same to you, and raising 3 boys is not easy....I dated my x for almost 4 years and he had 4 boys....that was one of the reasons things didn't work out...we didn't agree on things with our children. Usually old habits are not easy to break.(JMO)

justme659 Joined Wed 10/03/07 Posts: 6144	Mon 06/21/10 06:53 PM
Okay i have been in a relationship for going on 3 yrs and have a son with this guy as well. I have been honest and open for the most part with him. He came out of a 7yr marriage and has 3 boys (under 10yrs) his previous relationship style was a "swinger" (which i dont want)He has cheated on me and we did the couples therapy and are now moving forward. He is not as open and honest as me. My question is... Is being in a swinger relationship easy for a person to break or do you think people tend to fall back on what they know. Wondering if i am wasting my time or if there is a chance in this relationship. It does not matter what any of us think. It does not matter if he is going to fall back to what he knows. What matters is this, down the road are you going to be always checking on his whereabouts? Are you going to be able to fully trust him again? Can you let go of his past? These are the answers you have to seek in your own heart. Are you going to regret staying with this man and lamenting your wasted years with this guy? Or can you go forward and trust that your own wants and needs are going to be fullfilled?

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 06/21/10 06:53 PM
A leopard never changes it's spots!

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Mon 06/21/10 06:59 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off.

sherry4382 Joined Sun 08/26/07 Posts: 4000	Mon 06/21/10 07:00 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Always so subtle

11JD11 Joined Sun 03/22/09 Posts: 144	Mon 06/21/10 07:04 PM
It does not matter what any of us think. It does not matter if he is going to fall back to what he knows. What matters is this, down the road are you going to be always checking on his whereabouts? Are you going to be able to fully trust him again? Can you let go of his past? These are the answers you have to seek in your own heart. Are you going to regret staying with this man and lamenting your wasted years with this guy? Or can you go forward and trust that your own wants and needs are going to be fullfilled? Could not have said it better myself. I was not able to trust my ex after she cheated, and w/o that there's really no point.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Mon 06/21/10 07:04 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Always so subtle Just throwing out advice! I mean....it is an option.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 06/21/10 07:05 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Yes but he would still have the balls to try again!

sherry4382 Joined Sun 08/26/07 Posts: 4000	Mon 06/21/10 07:07 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Yes but he would still have the balls to try again!

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Mon 06/21/10 07:08 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Yes but he would still have the balls to try again! Chicks never go for the balls though. The pee pee is like the mother of all targets for them.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 06/21/10 07:19 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Yes but he would still have the balls to try again! Chicks never go for the balls though. The pee pee is like the mother of all targets for them. I can't believe that one slipped by you It's their " Weapon" of choice

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Mon 06/21/10 07:24 PM
Once he cheated, you should have whacked his pee pee off. Yes but he would still have the balls to try again! Chicks never go for the balls though. The pee pee is like the mother of all targets for them. I can't believe that one slipped by you It's their " Weapon" of choice I failed ya Pats!

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 06/21/10 07:25 PM


newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Mon 06/21/10 07:29 PM
Okay i have been in a relationship for going on 3 yrs and have a son with this guy as well. I have been honest and open for the most part with him. He came out of a 7yr marriage and has 3 boys (under 10yrs) his previous relationship style was a "swinger" (which i dont want)He has cheated on me and we did the couples therapy and are now moving forward. He is not as open and honest as me. My question is... Is being in a swinger relationship easy for a person to break or do you think people tend to fall back on what they know. Wondering if i am wasting my time or if there is a chance in this relationship. What the hell did you expect?.........

Aries151 Joined Fri 02/20/09 Posts: 1077	Mon 06/21/10 08:10 PM
Sounds kind of like he wants to have his cake and eat it too, people like that usually don't want to give that up.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Mon 06/21/10 08:16 PM
He left his wife, he likes to swing...seems to be a pattern here. Not only is it painful to you for him to cheat..I would be concerned about him bringing home some dirty Dick disease. I would consider pulling a Lorena Bobbitt if my man (if I had one) bought me home a STD.

mandyscha Joined Sun 06/20/10 Posts: 14	Fri 06/25/10 07:51 AM
Thank you everyone for the advice. I needed someone elses outlook on this. thanks.

tinker0090 Joined Tue 12/15/09 Posts: 511	Fri 06/25/10 08:40 AM
Okay i have been in a relationship for going on 3 yrs and have a son with this guy as well. I have been honest and open for the most part with him. He came out of a 7yr marriage and has 3 boys (under 10yrs) his previous relationship style was a "swinger" (which i dont want)He has cheated on me and we did the couples therapy and are now moving forward. He is not as open and honest as me. My question is... Is being in a swinger relationship easy for a person to break or do you think people tend to fall back on what they know. Wondering if i am wasting my time or if there is a chance in this relationship. i think there is a small chance this relationship will work out at the end, because he has cheated on you one time and i know if guys done it before they will do it again, if he really love you he would never done it in the first place, i think you should maybe start thinking of leaving if you think that is best but do what you think is best for you not him

EquusDancer Joined Sun 04/05/09 Posts: 6281	Fri 06/25/10 08:48 AM
He left his wife, he likes to swing...seems to be a pattern here. Not only is it painful to you for him to cheat..I would be concerned about him bringing home some dirty Dick disease. I would consider pulling a Lorena Bobbitt if my man (if I had one) bought me home a STD. Balls and all! Except not tell the cops where I tossed it, and I'd feed it to the local wildlife.