I know I'm not a Spring chicken, a Summer chicken maybe, but when you receive a gift, I was always taught to say thank you and send a thank you note. I am now wondering if that is an ancient way of thinking.

In the past year, I have been to a wedding, a Sweet Sixteen, a different birthday party and sent gifts to two friends and have YET to receive thank you's about the gifts. Two of these gifts were hand-made and one I had to even ask her if she received it.

Makes me wonder if I should stop giving gifts....

I am a note writer.

My parents raised me with the upmost of etiquette and tradition and I do my best to practice what they taught me.

Unfortunately, aside from saying "please" and "thank you", the act of using correct formal dining utensils and writing thank you notes are waning.

It seems like some of the parents are forgetting to teach people to even just SAY thank you...

Don't stop being you.

Can you approach the parents to inquire as to whether the gift was received? That might prompt an acknowledgment - and not in the "look at me" way but simply as a reminder for them.

Manners have CHANGED like eveything else going to (BEING FORGOTTEN)
Respect and caring for each other,,ALL have been going faster than they should be,,away from us as a people..its sad really..
WHATS left for the next generations, if we throw away hundreds of years of morral genes down the drain???

I asked one who never acknowledged it if she received it and her response was "oh yeah, thanks for that"....the other I asked his girlfriend and she said "He doesn't like acknowledging things, makes him feel self-conscious....but yeah, he got it." Other than the wedding, the parents were at the parties.

i was always told to say thank you
as well write a note

if i dont write one. i always make sure either way to say thank you
my mom does the same thing to my grandkids and they do it

Wow. That is just pathetic. I am so sorry you were treated badly.

yep, that sounds about right. some people think they are entitled and therefore don't have to show gratitude. it's the new hip thing.


. . .

I know I made sure to teach my kids to say it...and my girls make phone calls to say it if they didn't get the gift in person.

I covered a photo album for my niece's one year old, and her response was "Yeah, but I don't have pictures to put in it." She has pics of him pasted all over facebook though...Before I could respond her other grandma looked at her and said "We all have cameras, we all have cell phones that take pictures and we all have printers!! We can make the pics to put in there....not to mention, you work in CVS' photo department!! You can print them at work!!"

But thank you for your answers everyone.

That doesn't sound right. How could they not thank you sometime, somewhere. Gee Wiz

Manners are not the only thing going to waste in these modern times, whatever happened to holding a door open for a woman? last time i did that the "lady" just walked past as if i (or the door) wasnt there.

sounds like the entitlement thing i was talking about.
i hold the door all the time. women, men, kids, whoever. it's just polite.



. . .

thank you is nice, I do look for them when giving things in person,, long distance is another issue though,,,depending upon how often we would 'normally' speak,,, a mention during our next phone conversation is plenty for me

I must say I agree, manners are a thing of the past along with common sense. Not sure which went first but I'm sure by the end of my lifetime both will be a distant memory.

As for me I don't always write a note (mostly because of my penmanship and a typed note isn't personal) but I at least call and say thank you. I hold doors for ladies, young or old, say excuse me, etc. My hope is other guys my age will think "oh wow! an 18 year old CAN be polite!?"

That's a good thing, my 16 yr old son will also be polite like that and it does take people aback. He was taking a bus the other day to an exam and a female coworker of mine was also waiting for the bus. Though my son was the closet to the bus when it stopped ,he stepped aside and let the women waiting get on first. My coworker was surprised by this action!
Though he would probally call or send a thankyou text to the giver of any gifts......

Yep. Common courtesy, politeness and manners have been diminished considerably over the last 30 years. Some of them were outdated rituals...kind of silly with the changes of time. But much is just logical behavior that makes it more pleasant and easier to live in the company of others. Some of those behaviors were lost because our lives are so busy. When I am too busy to send a 'thank you' note/e-mail or make a 'thank you' phone call/visit, I'll start simplifying my life.

Manners, courtesy, civility, decorum ... call it what you will, it's still the same thing: Decent behavior. LIke everything else that we USED to have and take for granted, these things have been deemed 'inappropriate' because they were 'inconvenient' for a few people, and have been classified as 'ungood' - as things to be done away with. There has been an ongoing general coarsening of our society as our values, traditions, morals, etc have been intentionally degraded and mocked until we arrive at today, when those who still attempt to practice them are seen as outsiders and 'old farts' or 'out of touch'.

I am a 'thank you' kind of person and raised my daughter to do the same. She, in turn, is teaching that to my grandsons. When I give them cash for their birthday or at Christmas, I always include a handwritten message on the moneyholder that, if the contents are the wrong size, I'll gladly exchange them for something smaller. Keeps 'em on their toes.

I'd like to believe that courtesies like the ones being discussed here will make a comeback, but traditions, once lost, rarely make a reappearance ... more's the pity.

Good manners never go out of style.

I always say 'thank you,' but I never really write notes.