Well THAT makes sense Warn me next time will ya? I thought you were up to no good

wait kim isn't that you up too no good lol

This is such a relevant topic with me right now – it stings reading your post!

I have a hard, fast rule: never date anyone unless I have a future with them.

Recently, I met a guy on campus. He plays basketball for the university. I am fitness trainer and we met in the gym. We hit it off fast and furious; lots of chemistry physically and intellectually. He is 6.5 which is also very attractive me and our love for sports translates into great conversations. Plus, we are study buddies.

I never asked is age although I assumed him to be 24-26. He is in his last semester for his undergraduate. He asked me out and we’ve been on about 5 dates. The conversation finally swung to age: he had no idea I was 44 and I didn’t know he was 21!!!

We laughed and got over an uncomfortable moment. I made it clear we could never be serious because I can’t imagine him wanting to be with someone so much older as he enters the craziest, most formative years of life. Either of us getting attached is not a good idea.

I don't have kids so the instinct a parent would have over this matter does not exist with me. He is of legal age and sound mind. I am a little conflicted but not by reason of maternal impulse.

Where does that leave us? When we are together, there is not an “age” dilemma. When we apart, I trip out and ask myself “what the hell am I doing?” Would his parents freak out? Does he really understand we have limited success in a long term relationship? He says age doesn’t mean anything to him and he is attracted to me over girls his age. Moreover, I don’t want to be a novelty in his life.

I am treading very carefully and being wary not to lead him on or take advantage of his naiveté. He is NOT that naïve; however, I doubt he knows what he wants right now.

We have so much fun together and he is more polite than anyone I have met in a long, long time. (it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye )

What stings Melody? I see nothing wrong with it if that is someone's thing.

I guess I have a little guilt over the creepy aspect you pointed out. Do we look weird togther? Why would I care if we do? I over-think this when we are apart. He just sent me a text saying, "thinking of you". Is it too much too soon? Etc ....

I'm asking why people think that. I've seen people go crazy over it, especially if it's an older guy with a younger girl. I don't see it as weird. I just don't get why some others do

you're good girl. Do what you do Do what you like and are comfortable with

Don't think too much into it Melody! Just do what you think is right, who cares what others think.
I usually don't care if there is a nuclear fallout around me when I'm in love with someone. The rest of the people are only fuzzy figures like looking through of a foggy window, only she is sharp and clear and inside a bright halo!

See I think all those cougars started out dating men older then them. Now they want to turn it around.

I am not a cougar (hate the term) but what is germane is the "turn around" theory you stated.

I date younger guys but I have never, ever dated guys older than me. I dated guys my age in high school and college but once I got my undergrad degree, I was only attracted to younger guys. As a matter of fact, I haven't dated anyone over the age of 30 in 14 years!

Well, I went on a date with a 35 year old guy a few weeks ago. Man, he was old!

Not to be the wet blanket here, but let's inject a little reality into the situation. Anyone younger than 24 I still consider a "kid" mainly because most don't really know what they want yet and haven't experienced a whole lot. Guys that young love to try out the "older woman" thing because they don't play games and everything is pretty straightforward. You can have a no strings attached - physical relationship that's casual and they love that, however as time goes on they will eventually gravitate to other young pretty girls more their age or younger sooner or later.

While it may be a fun short term thing, I wouldn't put yourself too much into it or you may risk getting hurt. (And yes I know you always risk getting hurt but this type of situation has a higher chance of that).

thats so sweet I can relate

I'm not knocking you. Thank god this is America and anything is possible. And yes I know how lucky I got.

Did you read my original post? I covered everything you addressed - so I am not going into this blindly.

Your post is redundant to my original reply but thanks for your thoughts.

Older women are hot! Love those nice, 401K's.

Think of the possibilities when she is 80 and you are 50.

ok....so let me throw this in. Is there a different perception from older women/younger men vs older men/younger women? If so....why??????

Take a 35 yr old man attracted to 18 yr old women. They may not be on the same maturity level (unless they are the guys I've date lol) but that is their business. So why is it considered creepy?

Ummmmm....because the 35 year old dude is close in age to the chicks dad?

what if the guy is 18 and the woman is 35?

Social conditioning, culture thing, whatever. It's a left over thing, that a man has more rights than a woman. Religion also..you could always tell if a guy knocked up a young girl if he was to marry her regardless if they loved each other or not, since it was a public humiliation to have a "bastard child".

Have you watched porn lately? That is like the "In" thing these days.