As he enters he notices a horse in the back crying it's head off. The
man walks up to the bartender and orders a beer and ask

"So what's up with the horse?"
(bartender) "Well he just showed up one day walked to the back and
started crying, been crying straight for about a week now."

The man looks over at the horse again and sees a big jar full of cash.

(man) "So what's the deal with the jar of money?"
(bartender) "That's the prize money"
(man) "Prize money?"
(bartender) "Yep, it goes to whoever can get that horse to stop crying.
$5 a try and it's up to $1,000"

The man finishes his beer, walks up, puts $5 in the jar and whispers in
the horses ear. All of a sudden the horse busts out laughing. The man
picks up the jar and says thanks to the bartender as he leaves.

About a month later the man returns to the bar just to see the horse
still in the back laughing. Walks up to the bar and orders a beer.

(bartender) "Man, ever since you made him laugh he hasn't stopped.
There's another reward to whoever gets him to stop"
(man) "$5 a try?"
(bartender) "yep and it's up to $3,000"

The man finishes his beer, walks up to the horse, all of a sudden the
horse starts crying again. The man picks up his money and says thanks
as he leaves.

(bartender) "Hey wait, how in the hell did you do it?"
(man) "Well, the first time I told him my **** was bigger....the second
time I showed him"

A guy walks into a bar... and says "Ouch!"

I say "ouch" when I walk into bars. Usually right after I see the
prices for the beers