"That their gonna throw it back to you,
By now you shoulda somehow realized what you gotta do,
---
Backbeat the word is on the street that fire in your heart is out,
I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt..."

---Lyrics purposely chopped.

Have you ever been hurt so bad that you can't collect your thoughts about it? I'm sure most have been hurt, some even bad, but have you ever had an issue figuring out why, or how it happened? Can't figure out where it started, and why it ended so badly?

Yeah, "best" friends can really mess your world up sometimes..... You live and learn, and move on....

yep, time helps and believing there is some grand cosmic lesson to it all. Silly maybe but it's better than beating yourself up..more. No good ever comes from that.

Crying inside, because that’s how
you pay for the things that matter;
a little bit of happy that’s inside you,
for every inch you gain,
tossed to a wind that does not
come back to you,
however you wish otherwise -
something people pass to each other,
like a link that’s hoping
to get somewhere lasting,
somewhere beyond one lifetime -
growing older,
just another gray hair closer
to dying.

There’s a lot of us, loving
like we die every moment we do;
every act of kissing a king’s ransom,
every kindness a queen’s dowry,
every touching an exchange
of kingdoms.

It's ok to feel confused after being hurt profoundly, but after some time, even if we have not figured out all the how's or why's of it, all we can do is accept it, learn from it and move on. We get hurt in order to appreciate the next happiness that will come along. Only when we experience grief, do we learn to embrace joy when it arrives. We then cherish it, we then be grateful. It's said that the degree of hurt is directly proportional to the amount of happiness that follows. Be well, stranger. I hope your happiness arrives soon.

You can only be hurt by those you care about......so in a sense it would friends or family you would get hurt by.

I can only say. I've been there and I have become stronger, yet I've lost a lot of trust....But the wheel keeps turning and you either end up facing the dark, or you go toward the light.

The light is better.

Very good point. Trust is definately a causualty over the years.....

I think that most have been there one time or the other. Either by a friend, family or partner and at times one will never gain the answer as why. You just have to learn to move on and tread softly ahead until you realize not to let it rule your life.

Oh, yeah...I ruminated about the 'whys' and 'hows' for a good while. I think the ruminating was something I had to do to make it real to me. It sort of allowed everything to sift down into my head. Took time, but I eventually saw the person as who he is. Not sure I'd have seen it without the pain and ruminating. Reality gave me permission to walk away...to let it go. Best thing I ever did.

yyea, but not about one particular person. Just a phase in life going through...loss, bewilderment, aching...

I do that. I sit and think so much on what happened and why it happened. I try and pinpoint the exact turning point in when things started to go bad. To see if I could have changed it or avoided it. It is very hard for me to move on without knowing what happened and why. Although I have come to realize that I won't always know and that I can still move on without knowing.

But yup, I am an overthinker.

i just experienced this.

Yeah, and it has more or less forced me to make some assessments that may, in fact, be wildly inaccurate. But one can only work with the material one has at hand.

The less I think. The happier I am. I don't think about ****. So...I am one of the happy people.

Consider it.....you may enjoy not being stressed out about crap that you can't change anyway.

Today is gonna be the day that.....

I get to meet Kristy and Texsun for the first time at Phuque's party.

I got a cooler full of beer (Shiner, Chill and Bud Lime)
And vibrators for party favors. (What?)

I am gonna be such a slut!

Too bad I left my camera in Abilene.

Well, not everyone has a t-shirt like yours.
With the **inch **** to back it up.
On the other hand (assuming at least one is
always free)..
When will peeps learn they are good enough as
they are, if you are unhappy with something
about yourself, fix it. If not, get on with life.
It is not reaching the goals you set, it is the
journey that has joy potential, because it happens
every day. Every day !!

krupa is right, let go of all the ****, lose the
stress over small things, be who you are, it is
an absolute magnet. And the pain of lost love,
we all have it at some time or another, some people
it changes in a good way, others hang on to the agony
like the holy grail.

Perhaps we all get what we..expect to get.

PostScript: Ahem...vibrators..see what I mean?
Expectations..

Hehe, I was just curious. I'm doing pretty well actually. I went through about a month or two drought years ago of feeling pretty down, but I eventually realized there was nothing that could be done for the situation aside from what I was doing. Time doesn't heal wounds, time is an illusion created by us, therefore it has no real power over pain...we heal wounds, slowly, but you don't rush these kinds of things.

Thanks for the input everyone.

yes.

when ben committed suicide...i crumbled. i would lose my breath, sit down...and stare off. it would feel like a second, but literal hours would pass. i lived in a haze...i wanted no company, no voices...just silence. music hurt my ears, voices annoyed me...

after the numbness, i still couldn't meet anyone's eyes. i didn't want to see what they were thinking. i knew there was pity, but i didn't care. i hid away for a little over a year, and then i had to go back to work...and that helped. gave me something to grab on to, dragged me back into the public. i started fighting for myself, then...to get ME back.

now, i can think about the aftermath, but i can't think about what really happened...my mind still tries to skate past it.

Can't change what has happened, no one can, learn from it what you can and carry that with you as long as you live.