Sorry Lex, I have to leave you for now. I'm talking to a Rode Scholar.

Well, I admire people who try to go for a world's record -- although, admittedly, the significance of the thing has been watered down somewhat when it's "Greatest Number of Llamas Kissed in One Day" or something....

But, yeah, "Do you want children?" isn't exactly rocket surgery. People should be able to answer that.

If it is a brilliant idea...then let's do it. If this is all about numbers, then a posse of folks looking for a needle in this mangled haystack are going to be more successful than you alone.

So, we're looking for a woman who is and wishes to remain childless. She must find the conventional, married life unappealing. She must be near you or willing to relocate. Creative. Independent. What else?

Our connections, or lack of them, shouldn't be an issue. Mingle has a search application. Surely it can be configured by each volunteer to search for someone with the qualities you find important? So, we need volunteers. With luck and the infinite monkey theorem on our side, we will find someone, so how would you want folks to forward suggestions to you?

If you are up for it, I'll ask for volunteers. What do you say?

Works for me. I'm certainly open to trying this.

As a matter of fact, almost everyone I've ever been involved with, going back to school days, was someone I met through a friend, or through someone I was in a band with, or someone on my hockey team, etc. So I'm comfortable with the "search posse" concept.

One caveat, though: I would prefer not to end up with an infinite number of monkeys. Llamas, maybe.

Whoa Lex. I don't have mad calculus skills, but I did manage to pull a B in the class, and I think you've erred slightly in those calcualtions. Being the eternal pessimist and realist, you're chances appear to be much slimmer.

You forgot to figure in the competition factor. From my direct observations, you're not the only goat in the herd that doesn't want kids. Seems a multitude of men negate women that have undergone cervical dilation at some point in their life. Perhaps they don't know about kegel exercises. Beats me.

Taking this critical fact into consideration, I took the liberty of re-calculating your odds of finding a woman. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're more likely to be struck and killed by a flying llama when you walk out your door tomorrow.

But don't feel too bad. At least you'll save a few bucks in the end not having to fork over the bucks for a dual burial plot. Just a matter of perspective Lex; it's all in how you interpret the math.

I was hoping the fact that the same piano has fallen on me 94 times would confer some sort of statistical immunity on me.

Realistically, my best bet is to go back in time and fix a certain mistake I made somewhere around 1987. Unfortunately, the only time machine around here is in the basement of the library and it's not working.

I keep tellin' ya, Lex, it's a defective abacus!


Ya need the one that does the new Mingle math ... Problem solved ...














Streuth

With your permission then, I will try to compile the list of qualifications for your approval? Sans monkeys, of course. I assume your profile will be of help with that.

*Note to self: Add 'No monkeys' to list*

Now, since you've been here since what? Forever? What do you think is the best time of day (and day of the week) to post a thread calling for volunteers for this posse? Gotta get the biggest bang for the buck, you know?

I say we do it...and we'll see about the chances of you being hit by a damn llama...

I read your profile, all i can say is your a very intelligent complicated man, it's going to take woman, with a lot of patience, and a lot of love, to understand you. Keep trying don't give up, there's some out there for you. Thanks, for your post on the forums.

Well, I've been here since December of 2006 -- which is 152 years in llama years, probably -- during that time, I got back together with an ex for awhile (she was here on the site briefly), then we split up again, I changed residences about 12 times, got in a car wreck, published 3 books, lost 30 pounds due to a nasty infection (and kept it off, so take THAT, Tommy Lasorda), and made 25,000 posts on this site.

Sounds like I'm writing an obituary.

Anyway -- in my experience, the forums tend to be a little more active in the evenings, but "evenings" is sort of all over the map because of all the different time zones people are in. Where I am, it seems like 7:00 - 11:00 or so is about right.

My profile will be of some use, assuming people live long enough to read the whole thing. It's slightly longer than "War and Peace" and most real wars!

Thank you. People tend to see me as a conundrum. Which is better than a tympani, I suppose....!

Bummer. I'd let you borrow mine but I configured it to go forward instead of back in time. I caught a glimpse of myself dying alone and naked on the bathroom floor. How do mothers know these things? Anyways, I blew the thing-a-ma-jiggy on the way back and it's not working right now. Probably better this way. I don't think I want to know my future but I surely wouldn't want to go back. What we've been through makes us who we are, and I like me, for the most part.

Don't quit looking Lex. You'll find a new "her", provided you duck if you go out to get Pepsi tomorrow.

Well, Sir, I took the liberty of reading much of your profile...also sent an e-mail, hope you don't mind. I'm starting a list of qualities that are important to you. It may take a bit of time, but I think we should do this!

I think so, too. There may be an Unknown Lurker here who just needs some cajoling. I hope that means what I think it means.

Ah, what the he!!, if it means something else, it might be fun...

I thought it was some kind of cooking from Louisiana.

Wow. I can't believe you're still single!

Oooooooo, another nickel, cha~ching!













Pssssst ... I can't either ... Make it an even dime ...

Lex, I think I luv you!

Grandmother asked mom if I was planning on spinsterhood today. Biotch!

Is that even a real career? How much does it pay?