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| Topic: Things that should be discussed... | |
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Shshsh third date hell, I have been talking to a guy for a month now. We talk every day I assure you all those questions have been already discussed. Not per-say as far as with each other but what we want from another. Truth is sometimes it may take a few dates before I know that they are the one I want those things with. Therefore if I have met them in person first it may be months down the road before we get that serious. And talk about those things. It seems if you meet them online you tend to ask those questions or at least give your opinion on the situation. But if you meet them in person first then it will be much longer down the road before I even mention those things. Actually last guy I dated he went into the spill of me selling my house ect and moving us getting a place together and all. Shshsh talking about cold feet quick slow down big boy is what I thought. Needless to say we are no longer seeing each other. Sure most men would agree with me if they go there that fast I'm running away... To me it all depends on how you meet them and if your only contact is by phone for a length of period then you do tend to get into those type of conversation. agreed. It depends on how long you have talked online or the phone, but even then (for me) in person can still be different even though you've talked for a year before so by the 3rd date, I'm still trying to just enjoy the date and company I got it! by the 3rd date you should definitely have memorized their name and they should know yours. (sorry I just couldn't resist) 
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Shshsh third date hell, I have been talking to a guy for a month now. We talk every day I assure you all those questions have been already discussed. Not per-say as far as with each other but what we want from another. Truth is sometimes it may take a few dates before I know that they are the one I want those things with. Therefore if I have met them in person first it may be months down the road before we get that serious. And talk about those things. It seems if you meet them online you tend to ask those questions or at least give your opinion on the situation. But if you meet them in person first then it will be much longer down the road before I even mention those things. Actually last guy I dated he went into the spill of me selling my house ect and moving us getting a place together and all. Shshsh talking about cold feet quick slow down big boy is what I thought. Needless to say we are no longer seeing each other. Sure most men would agree with me if they go there that fast I'm running away... To me it all depends on how you meet them and if your only contact is by phone for a length of period then you do tend to get into those type of conversation. agreed. It depends on how long you have talked online or the phone, but even then (for me) in person can still be different even though you've talked for a year before so by the 3rd date, I'm still trying to just enjoy the date and company I got it! by the 3rd date you should definitely have memorized their name and they should know yours. (sorry I just couldn't resist) I didn't get that memo either. Does that mean just first name or first, last and/or middle? |
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To be honest if I'm having fun with the person all that is irrelevant to me. I'm not out to marry them right off the bat nor have them move in with me or me with them. I would rather just keep it casual and have fun together and get to know each other on a one on one and let the relationship take a natural course.
If we become and item a few months down the road then that is different. That is if we are at that time discussing living together or getting married. Other wise I hate that drill. 
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By the third date?
IDK, I try to bring these things out in conversations and interactions rather than 'questioning' my date. |
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The reason this is being brought up is that I was discussing how women go by their feelings when they meet men and miss the opportunity to find out some really important information in the beginning of the relationship.
Being swept away on feelings can be detrimental for the ladies. I don't know if men have this same issue. |
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By the third date? IDK, I try to bring these things out in conversations and interactions rather than 'questioning' my date. Very wise and I did not mean to "drill" them like an interrogation...lol |
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Well if those things happen to come up then fine but not questions I would ask myself to me within 3 dates is too short of a time to really get to know that person. And I would not get into what we want within our future till much later after I have actually been with them for a while and really got to know if I even want to be around that person that much.
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If it's serious, and you know it, probably finances, politics, religion and kids, or lack thereoff.
Otherwise, most of this should be coming up in general conversations. |
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If you want the relation to go to a next level, I think that talking about indeep background is a good idea. Like talking about her/his parents and family, if you havent met them.
Is a way to know how the person relates with family (you would be surprised what kind of frustration you can discover). And you are saying "hey, I want to go further by meeting your family!" without pressure. I think that is a good topic for the 3rd date. |
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Edited by
DaveyB
on
Tue 02/23/10 02:07 PM
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The reason this is being brought up is that I was discussing how women go by their feelings when they meet men and miss the opportunity to find out some really important information in the beginning of the relationship. Being swept away on feelings can be detrimental for the ladies. I don't know if men have this same issue. I think men could definitely have the same issue if they are dating exclusively for the purpose of finding a permanent relationship. I think the only difference is the number of women dating for that reason and the number of men dating for that reason could be a bit different, especially for younger people. And even there I think the differences are dwindling. |
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Well observed
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The reason this is being brought up is that I was discussing how women go by their feelings when they meet men and miss the opportunity to find out some really important information in the beginning of the relationship. Being swept away on feelings can be detrimental for the ladies. I don't know if men have this same issue. I think men could definitely have the same issue if they are dating exclusively for the purpose of finding a permanent relationship. I think the only difference is the number of women dating for that reason and the number of men dating for that reason could be a bit different, especially for younger people. And even there I think the differences are dwindling. I agree I should have specified in the OP that it was for people who are dating exclusively to find a life long mate. |
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