--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR
OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?
WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING
ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED
BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL
CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON,
WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY
DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED
FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE..
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD
ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ..

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ***,

GREY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT,

SON-OF-A-***** ASKED:

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?

I laughed out loud at that one.

man goes to the doctor for his check up and the doctor said sir i have bad news and i have worse news guy said whats the bad news doctor said you have 24 hours to live guy said whats the worse news doctor said i forgot to call you yesterday

a guy goes to the doctor for his mother in law doctor comes strolling in and says sir i have good news and bad news man says well doc wats the bad news doctor says well sir your mother in law is a complete vegetable you will have to feed her care for her bathe her and wipe her drool from her face the man looked at the doctor with a grim face and said WHAT doctor started lafin and said im kiddin she died 2 hours ago