I have a son with Down syndrome who is six years old and has decided to take up spitting. He seems to just spit for no reason. Yesterday I was putting him on the potty and he just spit right into my hair. He's been in his car seat and done the same thing. He'll be watching tv and spit at it so now I have plexi glass on my tv. Any ideas?

I don't have any suggestions because I am unfamilar with behavior patterns with down syndrome.

Is he doing it for a reaction? If so, act as if he did not do anything and be sure to react to positive things that he does. I know this isn't helpful, but it's the only thing I can pull from my psychology background.

My son received a diagnosis of ADHD and he has a little ODD in there too!


So, for all the parents out there with a special needs child... I feel for you! There are days I love him to pieces and he is my angel.... and there are other days where I fall to pieces. Just know that there are other parents that feel this way too!

I am so excited, I get to share some happy news. Christopher just started a swimming program at his school. They swim every Tuesday in May and the first 2 Wednesdays in June. This was his first time swimming since he was off for 2 doctor appts last Tuesday.

His teacher said he LOVED, LOVED swimming today. She said he walked right down the steps into the pool and swam with her the whole time. I am so excited for him and his teacher was happy to see how much he enjoyed and how relaxed he seemed in the water.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's of special needs children.

Looks like this thread hasn't been active in awhile. I've been dealing with the process of trying to put my son in school. He didn't want to cooperate with the school psychologist today. I think this process is going to be really hard since he's been home for the most part. He is quite stubborn and has Down syndrome.

some days i avoid this thread...because i don't want to think about it for a while.

we had more tests last week, and i found out raegan also has a hole in her mitral valve and her other valves are weak, not closing all the way.

she also sees an ortho in november for scoliosis.

Oh(lulu) you are so not alone.There is so much support in this thread.Our prayer are sent to you and Raegan.Remember she is a gift.And you are a gift to her.

It's not easy being a single Mom raising a child with Down syndrome. I've been really angry to have to deal with a Dad who gives me no advance notice of when he's coming or even for how long he will keep my son. Tonight I finally told him he is taking my son tomorrow and I am going to the Blue Grass Festival again and it's time he STEPS UP as a father. I'm sick of him treating me like I have no rights. This is his only child through adoption and I am quite p.o.ed to put is nicely. I really believe when you adopt a child you grow up and stop being so darn selfish.

I'm dealing with an IEP meeting and evaluations by myself, and it's been a real rough week since my son isn't exactly being cooperative with the school psychologist. I guess when God brings you to it, he helps you through it and I've got quite the road ahead of me because I did not put my child in preschool and he's been with me a LOT. So it's going to be a huge adjustment.

Oh boy do I know what you are going through. My ex hubby and I parted in 2003 and I have been raising Christopher by myself since then. He started out telling me he'd see him on weekends. He'd call me on Monday and say he'd be there on Saturday morning, then on Saturday mornings at about 3am when he knew my cell would be turned off, he'd call with one of his laundry list of excuses as to why he couldn't see his son. I called his bluff one weekend and left my cell on. When he called I answered and man he didn't know what to say. When he started in wtih his excuses I told him to NEVER call and NEVER say he was going to see his son.

The IEP's, the school officials, the therapists, the doctors, the insurance companies are less then compassionate. Most of them have learned that I won't back down if there is something I know he should have and I know we are qualified for.

KLC - I know what you mean about saying thank you. There are two people who I never forget to thank. One is my son's teacher, he really seems to like her alot. The other person is his childcare provider, she does after school care 3 days a week and I'd be lost without her help. She is so flexible and will switch days if my work needs me different days in the office.

Happy Holidays to all the amazing families out there.

Figured I'd get this forum post going again! Hope everyone is doing well and having a great school year!

I have some poems I'd like to post here about special needs kids. These were emailed to me and I just love them! I hope everyone else does, too! I posted these once before, but I love them so much, decided to ost again!

I am the Child Who Cannot Talk.
You often pity me. I see it in your eyes.
You wonder how much I am aware of...I see that as well.
I am aware of much...whether you are happy or sad or fearful,
patient or impatient, full of love and desire, or if you are just
doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration,
knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself nor
my needs as you do. You cannot conceive my isolation,
so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever
conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated.
I do not give you answers to your everyday questions,
responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or
comments about the world around me. I do not give you
rewards as defined by the world's stardards...
great strides in development that you can credit yourself.
I do not give you understanding as you know it.
What I give you is so much more valuable...I give you
instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth
of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your
commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to
explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible.
I drive you further than you ever go on your own, working
harder, seeking answers to your many questions,
creating questions with no answers.


I am the Child Who Cannot Walk.
The world sometimes seems to pass me by. You see the
longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and
play like other children. There is much you take for
granted. I want the toys on the top shelf. I need to go to the
bathroom...oh...I've dropped my spoon again. I am dependent
on you in these ways.
My gift to you is to make you aware of your great fortune,
your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.
Sometimes people appear not to notice me; I always notice them.
I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright,
to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent.
I give you awareness.


I am the Child Who is Mentally Impaired.
I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's
measuring stick. What I do know is infinite joy in the
simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the
strifes and conflicts of a more complicated life.

My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy
things as a child, to teach you how much your arms
around me mean, to give you love.
I give you the gift of simplicity.


I am the Disabled Child.
I am your teacher.
If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life.
I will give you and teach you unconditional love.
I give to you my innocent trust, my dependency upon you.
I teach you of respect for others and their uniqueness.
I teach you about the sanctity of life.
I teach you about how very precious this life is and
about not taking things for granted.
I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires
and dreams. I teach you giving.
Most of all, I teach you hope and faith.

Oh the Lovely behaviors that children pick up. Probably by the time that I am answering this phse may have passed but if it persists I would not recommend ignoreing it. Spitting can get your child beat up so it is probably a behavior you want to curb. Chances are it is something seen on TV, from another person, or maybe even at the zoo. Maybr your way out since kids get that there is people behavior and animal behavior. Probably someone laughed the first time so the positive re-enforcement may be a bit to over come.

As mother's we are often conditioned to accept behavior we think our kids don't understand but if you keep in mind that in acceptance we endorse you may want to make consquences immediatly. Example spitting on the TV gets it turned off. (Unless you think this is possibly a way for him to withdraw an overwhelming distraction or get your attention). Spitting on your Mom standing in the corner or maybe having to wear a asthma mask. NEVER tape a child's mouth as they can suffocate or it damage the fragile skin on the lips permanently even if you use medical tape. Washing where ever they spit can help get accross the idea that spitting is dirty. It depends how severe your child's impairment is. If a child does not have the power to control the impulse you are probably better to substitute a more acceptible behavior. Especially if it is a stress or self stimulateing behavior. A child who drools a lot sometims spits to clear their mouth. Teaching a child who drools to wipe their mouth with the elbow of their shirt or a handkercheif can sometimes help.

The idea of plexiglass in front of the tv is functional but you want to probably check with a technician and see if doesn't present an over heating risk which could cause a short and a fire. With anyone who has special needs family I always remind that a TV is and electrocution risk. And that remotes have batteries that are toxic. In frustration/distraction they can often become missles or Lost so you may have to stash it. Setting parental controls on your TV is important too because sometimes some programs can expose your child to upsetting program when you are not watching. Had a teenager that refused to go anywhere near a toilet for months after seeing a toilet bowl cleaner commercial that scared him. another Mom who had a cable bill bigger than her morgage when her daughter started ordering movies to get her friends to watch TV with her. I relate these tidbits as heads up you learn going to a peer support group of other parents with Kids of various needs. The fellowship can be great and sometimes the kids actually make great friends. After all who wants to live in a world of Einsteins. Believe me it is really helpful to bring about a dozen experience parents to IRP meetings too. lol

Swimming is a great exercise, help in weigh control, and stress reliever for everyone. Most YWCA's, Easter Seals, and even Hospital Therapy pools can be used on sliding scale. Any child that has military dependent priveleges of course can visit their pools. Some hotels, and colleges, give special employee priveleges that are worth being part time staff/students. Finding swim gear of all sizes is available on line at a variety of prices. All SeasonsClothes.com is my go to site but there are many. Some school districts do provide clothing closets that Parents of Speical need children are especially encouraged to access through their school counselor or principal. Parents can accompany children free of charge on Mass Transit busses for the handicapped curb to curb with their paid fare. If a monthly pass is written into the IEP the school district has to provide it but even if they don't the ride means no paid parking and the time on the bus can give you additional time for respite.

Hey all Exceptional Parents feel this way sometime. Hang in there! Sending you Hugs!

Top Five Reasons You Should Never Piss Off an Autism Mom

Five. We’re Already on the Defensive

What? You think you’re the first person to think I’m a bad mother? Get in line. People have been assuming I’m a bad mother for the last five years. I chew up people who think I’m a bad parent for breakfast. You think there’s something wrong with my kid? No ****, Sherlock – this panel of physicians and psychologists agrees with you. Tell us something we don’t know. Have something new and clever to add? No? NO? I didn’t think so…

In other words, we have experience with ******** like you.

Four. We Are Not Socially Well-Adjusted

We were real people once, and we will be real people again someday, but right now we’re living on the fringe of polite society. We have cut ties and discarded the family and friends who couldn’t handle our situation. We all suffer from severe PTSD. Our houses are messy, our surfaces are sticky, and we know the words to way too many Wiggles songs. We clean up disasters that you couldn’t even begin to contemplate. We live in semi-isolation, trying to have philosophical conversations with children who only know 18 words. We wear yoga pants all day. Our lives are not like other people’s lives. Do you really want to make us angry? Or do you want to give us a really really wide berth and back away slowly because you’re scared of what we might do if we snap? Yes. Good choice.

Three. We Know How to Fight

Autism moms know how to fight because we practice . We fight all day long. We fight with doctors about treatment, and then we fight with insurance companies to get it paid for. We fight with the state over services and we fight with schools about our IEPs. We fight with our families who won’t come to visit us anymore and we fight with our husbands to let off steam from all the other fighting we’re constantly doing. We fight with our children to make them keep their pants on in public. Do you think for a second that we would hesitate to fight with a complete stranger who was totally asking for it?

Two. We’re Already Angry

Autism moms carry huge amounts of unprocessed rage just below the surface. We’re mad at god or the universe or fate or whatever it is out there that gave our children autism. We are furious at the cards we were dealt and indignant that such a horrible thing had to happen to our children. We are angry about the loss of the child we were supposed to have, and we never truly stop mourning. We’re angry at the doctors who didn’t catch it early enough and also at the doctors who did. We hold a grudge against anybody who ever failed us as we tried to make sense of this chaos, and we’re also furious at ourselves, because we constantly feel like we’re not doing enough to help and we’re secretly afraid that it might somehow be our fault in the first place. We are already walking bundles of resentment…do you want to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

One. We’re Sleep Deprived

Some of us haven’t had a good night’s sleep in years . Between the stress, depression, anxiety, and the kid who wakes up screaming for popsicles at 3 a.m., we’re all beyond exhausted. We’re muddled and short-tempered and irrational and crazy. Like ax murderer crazy. Like Mel Gibson crazy. There are all sorts of studies linking sleep deprivation to psychosis and that would probably hold up in court if I decided to assault you. Keep that in mind the next time you fail to keep your opinions to yourself, and beware the autism mom.

*I know its long, but its soo good!*

5 Reason's is PRICELESS! You should print it and sell it...You go Mom!!!!!!!

I belong to a yahoo autism spectrum disorder group. I love and hate it at the same time! lol

I am so glad that there are online support groups. While I am glad some are disability specific I hope all can pull together to keep funding and new services coming along.

For what my generation, and especially the one older, called Exceptional Parent's (after a ground making publication) it was much different.

For the most part we were lucky if there were a half a dozen people we knew who had special needs kids of any sort. "Babys" were still being allowed to die or institutionalized at very young ages. Mother's who "lost" these children recieved little or no support to geive much less get help.

Iep's were the new thing and more often than not a child was excluded from any school. The idea that a person with a severe disability was ever going to need and education or hold a job was pretty much scoffed. Workshops for people with disabilities were dicey with some being little more than unpaid slave labor. But institutions many times were worse.

The idea of accessibility was fought at every turn. I can still remember being spit on, shoved into the ditch for pleading with Sears Roebuck to make their stores accessible, Going to a resturant ment being drug in through the kitchen, and sideswiped in the parking lots trying to even get in. If you traveled you stayed with friends or in a hospital room.

Unlike today with all kinds of electronics Long distance charges made phone calls prohibitively expensive and the few magazines and mimiocoppied newsletters that existed were passed around until they fell apart.

Parents that actually tried to band together were accused of having some kind of attention seeking neurosis. If you challenged a nurse or doctor you risked being arrested. Specialists were all day and further drives. Ronald McDonald houses didn't exist.

Thankfully groupes perseverred and programs were created often on peoples kitchen tables or in church basements. A lot of the money came out of grocery budgets and cookie sales. Sadly even some out of life insurance policies and money from parents that had endured alone so long they left what little they had left.

While I know we have so far to go we have also come so far.