Shadow, I was only answering that other guy in reference to "expectations". He didn't articulate his point and it came across as something else. You don't seem like the type to "expect".

In answer to you, yes, I do all of those little things that make your heart skip a beat. I love creating serendipitous surprises through out the day. I call it keeping the honeymoon alive!

Not just once in a while. Being kind and generous is within my nature and part of a positive relationship in my book. What I mean is the going all out and taking time to do something really special, well, that should be an important day for us, not the calendar. Whether it be our anniversary or the day of a promotion or simply just a long week and needing a special time...

Well, Hallmark can't tell me it is a day for romance.

Thank you (MelodyGirl) I feel the same way!

Funny how we find it the same way.Only reversed.

I don't actually know what it was like for a lot of people. But here's what I've observed from older couples including my parents. He "brings home the bacon" then plants his butt in front of the tv, waiting for supper and generally ignoring the kids.
The women clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, make meals, do the shopping, budget, etc. Many of those things are just taken for granted. To this day my Mother still does all of that, including ironing for hours every week aside from her day job. It's no wonder she's exhausted and doesn't feel special. He gets hot meals and lunches everyday while she works her *** off just so he doesn't complain about the dust on some shelves he could easily get up and clean himself.

Do I think 50/50 works? It could? Maybe. I won't hold my breath. I've been on dates where no one asked- we just paid for our own things and that was fine. I feel uncomfortable when a guy does pay. I don't know if he'd expect something in return and I'm not that kind of gal. I don't mind having the door opened for me...but it's always weird if they try to get to the door before I do just to do it. I'm fine opening the door myself thanks.

AS for doing things in return for me feeling special in a relationship...it's different with different people. There's not always a set rule of things. Although, my ex did love the little hand massages I'd give him.

Valentine's Day is when the females give stuff (typically chocolate) to the males in Japan.
White Day is when guys give the gals stuff (typically something white) in return.

As much as Dr. Phil gets bashed, he has
numerous "sayings" that I admire.

One of them is that he lives by the motto of thinking
to himself every day after he wakes up....
what can I do to make my wife's day
better today?

I know

I just like asking questions. It's just me

It's nice to know that there are a few women that will make an effert. It's sad t say this, but i have yet to date or be in a relationship. To where the other give in return on her own free will. It seem like they would do things only after I would. Not that it bothered me do thing for the one i'm wirth. Just it would of been nice once in a while to be surprised once in a while. And it could be as simple as a little note saying see you latter.

I think I see where you're going with this. The woman taking the initiative. I'm all for it. Too often I either see, her recieving all of the gifts while offering little or none, or responding in kind to a thoughtful gesture. If you love the man you're with, then show him. So much passive behavior going on. Maybe that's the way they were raised. Doesn't show much independent thought, does it?

No it dont, I don't want the ladies to get me wrong. I'm just sharing here and it's nice to see that a lot of them are having an open mind to this post.

Giving is a freely given thing. It's not somethinng I expect, but when it happens. I will show my appreciation.

That's fine of course, but maybe if a woman is really into a man, she might take the initiative. This includes foreplay and when you want to get intimate.

With me sometimes its 50/50 or if I ask a guy out then I expect to pay for his dinner, movie etc. There has been on several occasions where I have went dutch and its worked out well also. Another instance may be that he or I pay one time and the other pays the next time.

50/50 or every other, or he buys dinner, I'll pay for the movie type of thing.

As far as doing nice things, random back massage (excellent excuse just to touch him), gentle jokes and teasing, notes in the lunchbox, or car, or somewhere where'll they'll see it during the day, a funny/romantic card for the heck of it, is all things I enjoy doing for the one I'm with.

that might be one date maybe the next i'd inquire beforehand what his favorite foods were and make him a nice meal women can do things for men also when you care for someone i agree you wake up thinking how can i make this day a nice day for both of us

Dating, I see as one person asking and the other accepting. That sets the stage of interest flowing in at least one direction but it can take time before similar interest is returned.

The person asking for the date should pay, Id expect the same if a woman asked the man. Once 'just dating' turns into a relationship,,both people should be doing little things for each other. I am from the old school where the guy should cover the majority of the finances(unless he is having financial difficulty) until that ring is on the finger and then it becomes more a fifty fifty financial investment. Outside of that, I think both parties in a marriage should have a list of what they do in their family. If both work outside the home both should work inside the home as well. If only one works outside the home, during those hours they are gone, only one can work inside the home(obviously). When both are there, both should be contributing effort and time at home. Its really all about a balance and what works for each couple.