I'm just curious

For many years it use to be that the man works, takes care of the women, and in todays world women know how to take care of themselves and have better jobs then a lot of men.

So, now that's out of the way

Here it is and it's always been this why on how socity looks at relationships. The man pays for the meals, buys the cloths, gifts, flowers, or will do little things like open a door for woman. Pull her chair out for her so she can sit down, or live little notes on the pillow. The list is a long list and it goes on. As socity thinks, a man should always be the one that should keep a women happy or it's the mans own choice in how he feels he should treat a women.


So knowing we men go through (a lot) to try to keep the women were with happy and feel wanted in many different ways.


What do you women do for a man your with? or lets put it simple. Your on a date. The man is paying for everything and the one driving you around, taking you out to dinner, and maybe something after words. You just being there, is that enough or do you feel you should give a little more?

I believe in a 50/50 relationship...whether it's dining out, cooking or cleaning.

I believe that too, but it would seem that it is an altruistic expectation. Oh, the double standards abound quite frequently in relationships don't they?

Im a gurl who believes in 50/50 im willing to go more at times and pay for it all..just as long as it's NOT every time.

And what is wrong with "just pampering her"?

Maybe I'm from the "old school", but I find that, if your with the woman you care about...just "do it" (pamper) with NO expectations in return!

See...on the other hand, you may not know what she feels she is having to go through...just to "be your woman"!

Just my 2cents worth!
JMO

There is nothing wrong in pampering her. Some women love it and will show you they do.

I don't mind doing it, but it's not something I feel anyone should have to do all the time just to keep somone happy. I feel if i'm with someone. They should already know how to be happy by being by themselves. My efferts are freely given in a relationship. Not something a women should expect.

Economically, I believe a relationship should be 50/50. I like knowing I can sustain myself financial and remain independent, not to mention, the economy is not conducive to a single income dynamic.

I also prefer knowing how to take care of myself around the house, and I can accomplish most tasks (i.e., lawn care, car maintenance, use of my Craftsman tool set, etc), but I am more of a traditionalist. I like having men take over the role as "the man" -- to take care of me and protect me. I feel special when the man I am with opens my doors, carries items for me, and spoils me. I return the gestures though; it would be inconsiderate otherwise.

I try not to prethink things too much

I have complete cofidence in my (and her) ability to react appropriately to any situation so we just play it by ear and wing it

sometimes she carries the load and sometimes I do and sometimes we split it

I respect a woman that can take care of herself or at least attemps to. it shows she cares about who she is as a person and where she might be going in life.

The one thing I have seen so far on this post is, a lot will agree with the 50/50 but being it's a dating site. How offten does this really happen. I find myself having to put most of the effert in just having a conversation with a lot of women. Nothing ment by this to women. Although, I find it a wast of my time if I have to make the effert all the time to keep things rolling if you were to say.

In all though. How offten have you found this?

I'm just asking questions

Dating is different than being a couple and co-habiting and marriage. The financial part also is different as it's what each person and couple feels works for them. If a man takes me on a date and insists on paying, I usually equally insist on leaving the tip.

For a man I am more seriously involved with, I tend to go based on income that is "free". If my partner makes twice as much as me and has less obligations, I'd expect him to pay more. If I had more available funds, I'd pay more.

sorry shadow.. but it says the man took care of the women dont you suppose waiting on the man hand and foot isnt taking care of the man as well

I believe in the THEORY of 50/50 -- that doesn't always translate to real life.

Regardless of whether we are discussing family, friends, or relationships, 50/50 is rare. The efforts of two people are always shifting on the scale of equity.

I think what TheShadow is really asking is that while many of you believe in "50/50", if a guy takes you on a first date and says "So we going Dutch or what?" at the end of it, it wouldn't be a good first impression. So we know what the expectations are.

He question more revolves around, so guys to this and this and that, what do you women do in return?

And just for the record, Valentine's day is a commercial holiday that is just another day on a guy's wallet Too bad we don't have a "white day" like in Japan where it's the girls turn to buy the guy chocolates and stuff. 50/50 and everything you know?

You know, I was just thinking about what you said abut having a day where they women take care of the men while I was posting this thread

And your right, I was thinking what do women do in returne. I explained it better.

I think 50/50 works well for me.
But I have found that I tend to do more for a man.Why is because it makes me feel good.Also was dating a man that took full advantage, of what I would do for him.So thats my fault.Live and let learn. If I get asked out, it's your treat, if I ask you out it's my treat.

If a guy asked to go "dutch" I would think he is 88 years old! The "rule" on this one is easy: whomever asks, pays. Once two people start regularly dating then splitting the tab or alternating who picks up the check seems appropriate.

What do women do "in return"?? If a guy expected something in return -- he would get a swift kick in the nuts (from me) for expecting something in return. Aren't people supposed to give without expecting back? If you date a woman who is not generous (who is selfish) then stop dating her but don't expect anything back from anyone (even in friendship) just because you give. I realize you were NOT referring to sex but this reminds me of guys who use sex as leverage.

Everyone knows V-Day is a crock.

Personally, I don't like days where things are expected.
I prefer kindness and going that extra mile for no reason, rather than out of some misguided societal obligation.

I know better then expect anything in return. I also like my nuts where they are, i don't need to swollow them


This isn't about expecting thinggs from a women. This is about, if men do all these things. What do you do inreturn. Do you write little notes once in a while to let him know you care if you leave for work before he does and his asleep? Do you try to surpprise him whith little things, by doing somthing for him or getting a gift. This is what i'm talking about

Over all, just doing something nice for him once in a while?